Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Nov. 3rd update

Today… well, it's 7:15 pm on Wed. night. We did not go to the babyhouse again today. We went to the department of education and interviewed with the lady who is in charge of giving permission to visit the babyhouse. She asked us LOTS of questions. Many more and lots more stressful than the interview before we visited Kiechery. We survived and I guess did ok.. because she did give us permission to visit the orphanage. However, then told us that there were no children available that matches our request. We aren't sure that this is accurate. Our lawyer was VERY upset and it was obvious to us (even with them speaking Russian) that our lawyer was NOT happy with them. They discussed/raised their voices for about 30 minutes discussing our case.

I am a little reluctant about what or how much I can/should share… sorry.. but, I wouldn't want anything I write to jeopardize our adoption.

Most of you know that back in the summer we were told/asked about a 'nonofficial' referral of a little boy… the problem is that this little boy's mother has had a baby in the last few weeks.. thus, making him once again unadoptable to us. This has caused the problem. Our lawyer has said that they are STRONGLY suggesting that we adopt the older child we were shown at Kiechery. She says this is NOT the answer… and that we should never 'settle' for a child who we don't feel a connection to. They asked us about the possibility of adopting a girl to which we said sure… we are open to whatever child God has for us.. (we didn't tell her that.. we just said we'd be happy to see girls).. There is/was another family who has been shown 2 children and once they make a decision we will be able to see those children at the babyhouse as well. (we believe those are little girls)

I don't really know how to describe the emotions involved in all of this… I have followed so many families who have come to Kazakhstan to adopt… I have read about successes and failures.. and families even coming home without a child. I just 'knew' in my heart that once we made it here… that the Lord would pave the way so beautifully that everyone would just be in awe at how smooth our 'in country' process was. That has definitely not been the case. Tomorrow (Thursday) will be 2 weeks since we left home… and we've yet to find our child.

Our lawyer (Svetlana) is so kind and we really feel she if fighting for us. The government and officials here DO NOT work like they do in America. She assures us that it's nothing personal with us.. but, with the 'referral' child falling through.. that proves more difficult.. and for some reason they really want us to adopt an older child from Kiechery. She says she's not sure why…but, that seems to be the case. She says that we will keep fighting… and that there are children available and she will find our child. Svetlana and her father (our driver) were heading to the babyhouse after dropping us back off. Svetlana says she was going to ask the director for a personal favor and get them to look through EVERY child's file and find available children for us to meet. She is hoping that tomorrow we will get to meet some children, but at this point she cannot guarantee anything.

We are trying SO very hard to hold tight to Jesus and his word… we received the call that they were picking us up to go to the interview about 2 hours before we were supposed to go… so after getting ready to go… we still had 45 minutes to spare… We decided to read and pray… and during that time the Lord showed us the following scripture: " As I was with Moses, so I will be with you. I WILL NOT ……..FORSAKE you!" Jos 1:5

I quoted that over and over in my head while sitting in that HOT office today… We know that God has a plan… we know a purpose.. and we know that lots of times delays are straight in God's plan.. We are trying SO desperately hard to stay positive and not waiver in what we know to be God's calling for our family.

I just wanted to share a funny story as well… have to have some fun mixed in with all this stress and emotion… ha ha..

The Dep. Of Educ. Office today had an elevator. This was the first elevator we've ridden on since arriving here 11 days ago. We were presently surprised! J Svetlana stayed in the office talking/discussing things with the ladies that interviewed us. She dismissed the translator and us to wait in the hallway. We went into the hallway.. and Symbat decided we should just wait in the van…. So we head to the elevator (the VERY VERY VERY old looking elevator). Now starts the funny part… we are standing there… and the elevator opens and about 8 Kaz. People rush past Phil and I and get on the elev… now if you know Phil very well.. you will know that the LAST thing in the world he would want to do was be in an elevator crowded… much less in a country where no one else speaks English… but, the translator crowded on… so we had NO choice… they had to squeeze together to let us on. We are touching on all sides.. I think there were 3 other men, Phil, 4 other women, the translator (Symbat) and I… LOL!! The elevator was SMALL! Across the heads of the others I make eye contact with Phil and it's PURE desperation… like Lanetta… GET US OUT OF HERE!!! I inside giggle.. and think oh my.. if we get trapped in this thing… Phil will PASS OUT!! GUESS WHAT HAPPENED???? Yep… about that time the elevator stops and ALL lights on the board go out… and it's NOT moving… I just start laughing.. We were stuck for probably less than 5 minutes… but, I thought sure Phil was going to pass out any second. Finally the door opens on a floor and the 3 of us bail out… LOL!! I was SO tickled at this point… so I'm trying to tell Symbat why it's so funny… cuase Phil hates stuff like that… and she says… Lanetta you are so cruel to him!! LOL!! That made it even better!!

That was most definitely a GREAT memory that we will have FOREVER! We've laughed about it since…

Oh.. and it's VERY VERY VERY cold here today… by the time we got back to the apartment I was shivering… and we wished we'd have taken our gloves. It got cold overnight… and everyone says this is just the beginning.. and it's only going to get colder. WOW! It's COLD!

I guess I'll sign off for now.. since this is a mini novel…. We are hoping tomorrow is the day.. please pray we'll know what to do… but, at this point there is not much choice except just wait… so here we sit! Phil's watching another John Wayne movie! LOL… and he's not really a John Wayne Movie fan… but, we've exhausted the movie list in the past 11 days…. Watched more movies that I've watched in all my life combined! J

PLEASE keep praying…. I know all of you are…


Jill (& Bob) said...

Oh Lanetta,
I am praying these delays end and end in the morning. I pray you meet your child in the morning, be it a boy or a girl. I pray for patience for you and Phil. I pray for the girls back home missing mom and dad....

Andrea said...

OH my heart is heavy for you right now. Perhaps the reason you learned of that referral was because you were meant to travel now to adopt your child who might not have otherwise been "paper ready". We have seen this with many people, most recently Lisa Schulz who went to adopt a baby boy but came home with Stella and is over the moon. I am thinking of you, praying for you and just know it will all turn out as it is meant to. Your faith is to be admired. xo Andrea

The Stone's said...

Stay strong Lanetta & Phil - it's all you can do at this point.

We know exactly how you feel! We were in Kaz for 18 days before we even met Ry.

Sending good thoughts your way!
Cortney & Dustin

Jessica and Chris said...

I'm so sorry :( It is all going to be ok. I just feel it in my heart. I know it is so hard though.

I'm with Phil.....I would walk 10 flights of stairs before taking some of the elevators :)

Jennifer M said...

Oh my, Lanetta. I am so sorry this has been one struggle after another. 11 days. I can hardly believe it. Praying that Svetlana meets with success and tomorrow is your day. Big hugs!

Friends and Family said...

Praying praying for you all!! Thanks for sharing your fun in the Elevator. Jeff doesn't like confined spaces either.

Jstar said...

Oh, guys, I can't imagine... I know this must sound trite to your hurting ears and hearts, but God certainly has amazing things in store for your family to be training and stretching you like this. We are praying for you and for all three of your kids.

Friends and Family said...

It's my lunch and I just read your blog to keep updated. Please know that as I sit here I'm lifting you both up in prayer! I will keep them coming day and night until you meet your child!
Love you,

Kim said...

Very sorry you are still having to wait! It is just so hard over there and they work on a different time schedule from Americans for sure! Svetlana will fight for you as much as she can. I had to smile as you mentioned them raising their voices in Russian. Our translator spoke like that many times to officals in Uralsk. I don't think I've ever heard someone speak that fast! Many times I would get tickled at her talking on her cell phone like that! No more elevators ok? Poor Phil! I would have been laughing at Jim too! Your child is there, you are there, so hang on as the wild ride continues!

Angie said...

Lanetta, I know this is a different point of view than most people, but I want to share it anyway, just in case it can be helpful... I know I didn't feel an instant connection to Julia when I first met her. I think it's an older child thing. I wouldn't trade her for the world now, but I didn't feel that instant bond I did with Nicholas or even Angelica. I think it's because they were so little. I understand that sometimes you KNOW something isn't right, and I'm not at all telling you to go against that feeling--that is a spiritual "God thing." But if you are just waiting to be flooded with emotion, that won't always happen with an older child. With an older child it is a little bit of a different process--the emotion comes a little later as you get to know this person. Love in those cases is more of a choice--like getting married. It's harder and more complicated, but has been so worth it for us with Julia. I'm not by any means suggesting "settling" for this other boy, only praying that God will make it completely clear whether the other doors may be closed because this is your son. In which case the emotions will come as you follow God's leading. Not trying to be controversial :) but I want to throw this out there from someone who has a slightly different perspective on it than a lot of people just because of what we've lived.
Julia is my "best friend" daughter--I can't imagine life without her now! But it did take longer and it was more work than either of the other two. Love you and I'm praying so hard for you guys that God works this all out!!!

Our Ukrainian Journey said...

Lanetta, we are still praying for you everyday. Things do move soooo much slower over there and you will find out that they are not in a hurry about anything! haha! Just take everything in and enjoy it. We were in Ukraine for 3 weeks falling in love with our precious little ones before we even knew FOR SURE that we would even be able to adopt them due to a separation issue with an older sibling. Hang in there!!!

God Bless you all!!!

kitzkazventure said...

Wow, always one more mountain to climb. I am so glad that God has given you perseverance and hope still and a great sense of humor to boot! I completely agree and second Angie's response. I know you probably don't know our story as we adopted several years ago but Nick was also an unexpected gift. We arrived in our town in Kaz and were told there were no babies or sibling groups avail and then they brought us two 3 year olds to consider. It was a shock and hard to take in but we knew everyone was praying. My sister had even told me before she left that she would be praying that God would show us specifically who would be our child with some sort of signal/sign...she said " you know something like they are born on Grandpa's birthday". When the doctor at the babyhouse began to tell us about these little boys, she gave us their birthdates and yep, Nick was born on my grandfather's birthday. So, of course, we didn't want to doubt or think that it was just a coincidence, so we decided to start the bonding period. Well, it really couldn't have gone more poorly based on my expectations. He seemed to hate coming to visit us, hated being in the room, and really did not interact or speak at all but we, by faith, stuck with it. We, as Angie said, did not at all feel an immediate rush of emotion unless you call panic and nausea an emotion! :) We had to take a lots of faith steps in our journey there and deciding to continue the bonding period was one of them and that little sign from God was our source of confirmation and to this day, it is the greatest testimony of God's very presence in that room with us and the rest of the days ahead. He has ordained these moments for you and you will look back on them with the ability to see his provision and his work. We will pray that tomorrow you will know in some way special how you should proceed. But as Angie said, it may come in ways you had not in the least expected. We have always called our introduction to Nick as an arranged marriage. It took time, it hasn't been easy but boy, has God been evident and glorified in all of it. Many hugs and prayers. Karen

Friends and Family said...

Lanetta and Phil, we love you and are trusting God with you, I have some scriptures for you: Matt. 11:28-30, Rom. 8:26-27, Heb. 4:16. I hope and pray these bring some peace, pray with confidence that God has this all in control, whether the authorities there know it or nor! Kim H

betsy said...

Lanetta and Phil -

I am praying so hard that you will be able to meet your child at the babyhouse tomorrow. Surely, it will happen soon. I have been following you blog very closely - it is the first thing I do when I get up in the morning and when I get home from work. I am living through you both and really appreciate all the time you spend updating your blog for all of us to follow!!

It really is hard to believe they are telling you there are no children that match your request. I know you are staying strong and you must follow your heart and know that God will make it absolutely clear when you meet the child that was meant for you.

Thanks for the funny elevator story - I laughed so hard!

Take care and I'm praying you will have wonderful news to report very soon.


aultfamily said...

Lanetta & Phil,

Psalm 126:5-6
Those who sow with tears
will reap with songs of joy.
Those who go out weeping,
carrying seed to sow,
will return with songs of joy,
carrying sheaves with them

minime0910 said...

Lanett and Phil ~ I am so sorry today was not the day, I pray that you are able to stay strong and find some peace in the realization that there are no accidents and somewhere in Kaz there is a child waiting to call you Mama. The Lord's purpose WILL prevail. ~Erin

Proverbs 3:5-6 - "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight."

Corinne said...

I have thought of you often and just want you to know our heartfelt prayers are with you. We are have been in Russia over two weeks and probably another month as well and we still do not know for certain if one of our little ones can come home. As you KNOW god has a plan and he Will be faithful.Know that we are praying for you HUGS

4texans said...

I've told friends that adopting from Kaz is not for the faint of heart! We also had difficult days after being shown a few babies but then we ultimately chose an 'older' child (over 3.5 years). I pray you meet your child soon. I prayed over and over for God to show us the child meant for us and the next day we met our son!

Friends and Family said...

Lanetta and Phil,
I know you are frustrated and questioning. Remember that God is big enough for your questions and they don't bother him a bit. Rest in the fact that he knows exactly where you are and exactly what you need.
So for distraction, here is something else for you to look for ... garlic ice cream. We had it once in a Russian restaurant in Estonia. It was ... an 'experience'- I'll leave it at that.
Take care of yourselves and know that we are praying for favor and direction for you. Remember that our timing is not God's. Don't self-impose pressure. God has begun a good work and will see it to completion.

Sydney said...

So sorry that this journey has been so hard. Praying for your peace and wisdom about your child and praying tomorrow is the day.

dnd82001 said...

This journey as you both know is filled with many twists & turns.....

You will know the right path when you get to it and you will get to it!!

Love, prayers & hugs!


Friends and Family said...

Hang in there!! Many of us have been through similar struggles in Kaz. For us, every moment of every delay was worth it in the end. Keep your eye on the prize.


And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name, welcomes me!” Matt 18:5

Visit our website...

Click here to visit our website to read about how our journey to international adoption began... and how God spoke to our hearts to open our lives and family to a child who otherwise might not ever know him.
God bless!

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