Monday, January 23, 2012

"Tearing down the Impossible!"

I have mentioned a couple of times recently about the promptings in my spirit lately...  and I just wanted to share with you a couple of things tonight!  

I have signed up to receive updates from several blogs of woman that really encourage my heart...  I received an email update from one of them today, who completely resonated with my heart regarding, "Tearing down the Impossibles in YOUR life!"    Click here to read the post and visit her blog!  

SO... as I read what she wrote today,  I could relate in SO many ways.   

I can not even tell you how glad I am that for one time/journey/situation in my life - I DID NOT allow the dream to be silenced.  

There were many times/ways/people/things that attempted to silence it.   SOME didn't even know they were attempting to silence it... some KNEW!      There were days that it all looked so impossible that it was OVERWHELMING!     

The silencing was attempted from the VERY beginning.... and continues EVEN today. There are always going to be people who are just going to be negative and tear you down with words, looks, comments, or with their absence of words, looks, or comments.    

As I've also mentioned before about Faith and Grace really teaching me/us so much - this has never been more true than when looking at this journey from this angle.          I have learned SO SO much during this journey, and I've grown in ways that humble and amaze even me.    BUT, there are times that I still fight against the voices/things/feelings who try to silence it.       

I have seen God move in ways that are unbelievable... in fact, some think/believe that it wasn't even God who did this very thing in my life... some think it was just part of the big plan of life and regardless of a God being there or not - it would have happened if it was 'meant' to be. 

Thus attempting to "silence the dream!"

I could give you specific examples of things that happened, things that didn't happen, family members who hurt us, friends who deserted us, and close family and friends who just ignored us and walked away.     

PLEASE today... consider these words and know that they were for you!    Find the possible inside the impossible... It's RIGHT there!      I know some of you are struggling with things/people/ situations who are silencing you.... PLEASE focus on the possible that is right inside the impossible.    BE encouraged today... have FAITH and trust that God never calls us to do anything that he's not already equipped us with the ability to do!  

I have to leave you with the last portion of Lysa's blog post:  

"Oh how impossibility loves to scream into gaps of silenced dreams.
But here’s the thing about impossible- there is some part of what we’re attempting that isn’t impossible.

  All impossibilities have a weak spot. 

And that’s the exact place where we must attack.
A book might seem impossible. But that’s not where writers should start anyhow. There’s an article that could be written. Or in today’s world a tweet that could be crafted. Or a blog posted.

Write there. In the weak spot of impossibility.

Maybe it’s your marriage that seems impossible. Go against the grain of your hurt feelings and silent brush-offs. Think on just one thing you do love about that man of yours today. Send him a text about how much you appreciate that one thing. Praise him for that one thing. Tell someone else about that one thing you noticed today.

Start there. In the weak spot of impossibility.

I don’t know what impossibility you might be facing today.
But remember- all impossibilities have a weak spot. It’s there. Ask God to show you where it is. Ask God for just enough strength to attack there. Tear it down one good decision at a time.
And soon you will see, inside every impossible is the word “possible”… if only we dare to see it."
Taken from Lysa TerKeurst's Blog -

Saturday, January 21, 2012

A year later... a different perspective!

It's 12:20 am on Jan. 21st, 2012...  in my mind it still feels like Jan. 20, 2012....  so let me fill you in on my day just a little bit.

Phil had elbow surgery today.   We've been in the hospital all day.  His surgery was this morning and it took a little over 3 hours, then recovery and finally in a room this evening!   It was a LONG day.   He is doing good, but in a lot of pain!   Morphine + some other NICE strong pain meds are helping him out and he's enjoying that IV drip...  I on the other hand am a little stir crazy.    I can't stop thinking about one year ago RIGHT now... 
Goodness...  how has it been a year already?  and GOODNESS... it feels like 12 years ago!   It's amazing how it feels like such a long time ago and just yesterday all in the same thought!  

Today has been a good day... despite being concerned about my Phil! :)   It was one of those days that I knew I was EXACTLY where I was supposed to be at the EXACT time I was supposed to be there.  I. LOVE. KNOWING. THAT!     It makes me smile inside and feel so humbled at the same time!   I can't tell you how wonderful it really feels to share about our amazing God!    I can remember a time when I was leery to share... and wondered how people would look at me, think of me, or label me...   Not anymore... honestly, it gets easier EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. you share and the amazing feeling of 'knowing' you are sharing about the Lord... well, that's indescribable to me!   Try it... you will not believe how wonderful it feels!    As you've probably guessed I had some conversations with some people in the waiting room today.    Amazing...  While I was chatting with, showing love to, and getting to know COMPLETE strangers - who just 'happened' (yeah right) to be in the exact waiting room I was in today...  I realized that maybe I should volunteer and just show up in hospitals.   There were SO many worried people in that one large area today.    It was so amazing to just begin to talk with them...  and before you know it... God is opening up an amazing door to witness for him!   SIMPLY amazing!    

I also enjoyed today with 'just' my Phil!   I'm sure he will shake his head at me and smile (maybe ;))  in a few days when he reads this, but we talked on the way to the hospital about where we were one year ago right now.   
ONE year ago right now... I can tell you exactly where we were...    Jan. 20, 2011 was the day we had court session number 6!  It was a day of desperation for us... it was a day that we wondered if we would survive the very thing God had called us to do...   It was the day BEFORE our breakthrough and man o man am I SO glad and thankful that we didn't give up...  You see we were ONCE again on the BRINK of something amazing.    We didn't know it, but HE knew it!     Remember that this story of our journey and life is for YOU... to remind YOU tonight/today/tomorrow that you never know when YOUR miracle is 12 hours from occurring.  You never know - God could be sending your miracle the very next second.    If you'd like to read about where we were one year ago today...  CLICK HERE.

Don't give up my precious friends!   No matter what the circumstances around you look like!  No matter who is believing or trusting with you!  No matter how impossible it looks!  No matter how you FEEL!   DIG into the word... quote scriptures OUT LOUD and remind the Lord of the promises that he has promised YOU!     Those scriptures in that bible are for YOU and me!    You can trust him!  Believe him...  HE desires to see YOUR hearts desire come to pass.   HE LOVES YOU and cares where you are today!   In fact, I believe IF you are reading this, it was for a purpose!  :)   He knew you needed to read it!  

Sorry... I got a little 'preachy' there!   Sometimes that just happens when I start writing!  

In between talking with my new friends (waiting room companions) I've had LOTS of alone time to think!   Phil and I talked on the way here about the past year and we talked about IF we could go back one year in time EXACTLY - back to that court room in Kazak...  would we do anything differently?!    It was an eye opener for us and made us realize that we needed to live each day with NO regrets!  I wish I could look back over the past year and say that I had NO regrets, but, that's not true...   We do have things we'd do differently!   Goodness...those first few weeks home.. (if I knew what I know now) would most definitely be differently!   

So...   It's actually 12:45 am here...  so in Pavlador, Kazakhstan it's 12:36 pm on Jan. 21, 2012.   That means that exactly ONE year ago right now we were at the apartment getting ready to go to court session number 7!     It was NOT a fun time...   I will never forget it.    I don't think we ate anything.   I think we were fairly silent and it was a pretty quite place.   Phil focused on praise and worship songs on his MP3.   I read, reread and quoted EVERY single scripture I could find and remember.  I sat at this very laptop at the desk in that apartment and read and reread all YOUR comments and messages.   Comments of love, prayers and MASSIVE concern.    If you sent us a message - YOU will never know how much to encouraged us!   THANK YOU!      Some of you sent messages more than once... if that was you.. THANK you a million times over... and if you prayed... thank you a zillion times.   

Phil is dozing in and and out of sleep...   If you'd have told me where I'd be today ONE year ago right now.. I'd have laughed and said BRING it on!   Now.... I'd go back there!     Isn't it amazing how life works?   Phil had pizza for dinner (it sounded good to him) and I asked him if it was good.   He said, "It's ok, but it's NOT Classic Pizza!"      

Jan. 21, 2011 - It was the day that the judge FINALLY said YES!   It was not what I had anticipated.... now, don't get me wrong...   it was awesome, incredible, and amazing!   We were humbled, honored, and OH so so thankful!   Looking back at the blog, I realize I didn't even update for weeks later... sorry about that!   
I honestly got SO sick.   I can't even explain how physically sick I became while we were at Krendal's celebrating that night... and it just continued to get worse and worse.   I remember the flight from Pavlodar to Almaty - I stayed in the bathroom of that little plane for 80% of the flight...  SO sick!       It was the physical effects of fighting on so many levels for so long (I think)... and the combination of leaving F and G there.   It was heartbreaking, yet ok... because we knew they were REALLY ours.     

One year - 365 days ago right now... was life changing for us!   We were blessed beyond our wildest imagination and didn't even really know or realize how much we were being 'saved' by two precious, tiny, underweight, miraculous twin babies!       365 days ago they were kissing a book with pictures of their Nana and sisters... TONIGHT they are snuggled up with Nana in her house- sleeping soundly! Their tummies are full, their hearts are full, and I can promise you they KNOW they are loved by their family and an amazing SAVIOR!  :)  

Then Jesus said,

“Did I not tell you if you believed you would see the Glory of God!”

John 11:41

Trust him...  PLEASE... Trust him!   It's ALL for YOU Lord... All for YOUR Glory! 
I can't wait to see what the next 365 days brings!     Bring it Lord!    :)    Phil and I laughed today and talked about where we'd be on this day next year!   You just never know... but, I can promise you this - We will be attempting with EVERYTHING in us to be where he wants us to be!!!    :)     
.... and the journey continues!!! 

Monday, January 16, 2012

A year ago - - and some ramblings! :)

I am honestly so disappointed in myself that I've not made the time to come here and write more often in the past months... but, I haven't... I'm sorry!      

I will try to write more and do better...     I have SO SO SO SO many posts brewing and in my soul and spirit just waiting to SPILL out that once I ever really get going here it might be unreal the amount to 'stuff' I share... :)

I have no idea if anyone is even still here or reading about our little family, but there are some things I want to share.  
Faith and Grace have been home 10 months!  Amazing...  absolutely amazing....
It honestly feels like they've ALWAYS been here...  :)      HOWEVER, I can easily (and I mean easily) remember one year ago RIGHT now...    Anyone else remember?    We were in Kazakhstan - FIGHTING for our girls!    We'd had 5 court sessions, been gone from home around 3 months, but had experienced miracle after miracle after miracle! 
My post for one year ago today was a tear jerker for me:  Click here to read!   It is SO easy for me to remember EVERYTHING about that time in our lives.  I can remember the smells, sights, sounds.... waking up in the middle of the night in that cold apartment - CRYING out to God!  I remember feeling his presence in the midst of spiritual warfare.   I remember KNOWING we were battling things beyond ourselves... and KNOWING that our God was GREATER than any power, or force that was against us. 
I can also remember days of desperation.... days when I wondered if we would surely crumble under the weight of it all...  One year ago today was one of those days when we had to DECIDE if we were going to keep battling or just give up.. IT. WAS. HARD! 

Maybe one of you are struggling with something in your own life.    Maybe you are waiting on God to move... maybe your heart is breaking.    Maybe you are facing situations in your life that 'look' impossible...  Don't FEAR...  lean on Jesus..    I can promise you that HE WILL COME THROUGH for you.   It might 'feel' like he's left you... it might 'feel' like he's forgotten, but rest assured my friends... HE. HAS. NOT. FORGOTTEN. YOU!    

Remembering the past few weeks as we walked through that battle one year ago has been emotional for me... it's been amazing to re walk the road again this year... and honestly, it's helped the fights to not seem so loud, the battles to feel not so big and the HUGS and KISSES to be sweeter and longer! :)

Reading back and remembering our life one year ago and the fact that Faith and Grace were in that orphanage tonight one year ago... makes my heart sink.     It honestly is SO humbling.  I can't even tell you how honored we are that God chose us to walk this road.   I feel so unworthy and undeserving.  Thank goodness that our God doesn't look at who we are, but what we can become THROUGH and WITH him!   

The past 10 months have been AMAZING!   I honestly don't know how to find the words to adequately describe it.    
There have been ups and there have been downs. 
We have experienced everything from massive loving and happiness to tears and meltdowns and fighting!      There has been food thrown, hugs given, and snuggles happen.  Along with spitting, smiling, and lots of bath time!  
I have to admit that the good, happy times WAY out weigh the bad, but there have been times when I've sat down and just cried.

Lots of people have asked us how we are all 'really'  doing.  It's really easy to answer this question.  We are really all doing AWESOME!       As I just mentioned, it's not all been a bed of roses and there are still LOTS of times when it's overwhelming around here... but, overall things are incredible.  

It's hard to describe the progress that Faith and Grace have honestly made... the BEST way I know to describe it is this:    They were two little girls who had NEVER basically been outside the walls and iron fence of an institution in Kazakhstan.   Faith had NEVER ridden in a car (since she was 3 months old) and Grace had only ridden in a car ONE time before.    It was like taking 2 little babies who were starving for attention, food, love and stimulation and giving them the world.   Just imagine what it had/has to be like for them.    They are most likely still in shock!  ;)      I've read LOTS of stories and books and blogs about attachment, bonding, and families... and I know that we've been SUPER blessed!   Faith and Grace have both bonded to us like little magnets.    Yes, there are some issues and we still have struggles.  They get overstimulated easily and we've had to adjust lots.... but, overall they have changed and developed and attached.   They are speaking English, singing, playing and going 900 mph nonstop!  :) 

We've also had LOTS of people ask about the famous big sisters!  Bailey and Brooklyn are amazing!  I posted on facebook a few times about how incredibly blessed I feel... and I mean that!  Baily has matured and stepped into the role of BIGGEST sister in ways that are baffling!   She is incredible with them and SO wise beyond her years.    Brook has done amazing as well!   She has (of course) had a little harder time figuring out her place in all this craziness... but, has LOVED her new role as BIG sister as well.     She loves to carry them around and baby them and pretend.     Bailey and Brooklyn have both adjusted amazingly well and honestly I once again am in awe of God's amazing plan!   Silly - I know!    Why would I think he'd do something halfway!   It's amazing how when God does something... he takes care of EVERYONE involved!!!    Amazing... and just like HIM! 

I have lots of pics to share and even a couple of videos, but I'll just have to wait on those...sorry!   I really do plan to attempt to post more often and share more of God's dealings and the churnings in my heart.   I have NO idea if any of you are interested in reading them... but, maybe they will encourage someone!  

I have such a churning in my spirit these past few weeks and God has shown me some things...    I don't want to waste ONE second of this precious life of not being in his perfect will.... Life is TOO short!  

Remember today that God's Grace is sufficent!      I will leave you with Faith's precious prayer at dinner time last night:   "Jesus, fank (thank) you dis (this) food...   fank(thank) you Mama, Papa - Daddy, Bay bay, Bwookie (Brook), Nan (Nana), Everwfang (everything),    and fank (thank) you Jesus - you say no more Faif (Faith) and Gwace (Grace) in orpahange.   Amen"

Life my friends -  doesn't get any more real that that.... a baby thanking Jesus for saying, "No more Faith and Grace in orphanage!"        Thank you Jesus SO much for loving the Fatherless... help us every single day to be MORE LIKE YOU!!!!! 
And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name, welcomes me!” Matt 18:5

Visit our website...

Click here to visit our website to read about how our journey to international adoption began... and how God spoke to our hearts to open our lives and family to a child who otherwise might not ever know him.
God bless!

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