Court

Today has been a very sad day for us...  My heart is so heavy.. that I know it's ONLY by the grace of God that I'm even still able to type....
The visit this morning with F and G was good... however, they are BOTH very sick... and we were accused of taking them in the PE room with another family who was bonding... and now due to US exposing their little girl...  that little girl is sick and the smaller group is coming down with the same virus...
YEAH... I'm sure it was us.. and F and G.. the entire group got sick from our girls in oh let's see... 11 hours.. NOT LIKELY!!!

Then to end the session... Faith SCREAMED and BAWLED and BEGGED me not to leave her...  CLINGING TO ME SCREAMING.... "Mama Nyet (No) Paka (bye bye)" over and over and over"....

so we then have less than an hour to get to court...
the judge GRILLED everyone in the room for over 2 hours....
she asked us the same things over and over.... and then proceeded to demand that we prove what the minimum income for a family of 6 is in the state of Oklahoma...   All our forms (which they had us to prepare) state the average income... not the minim....  she wants the minimum....  we told her our 'guess' ... that wasn't enough...
She grillled Svetlana... Svetlana got really upset after about 1 1/2 hours... and the judge did not like that ONE bit... she read her the right act... then at one point she gripped at our translator and at one point or another she pretty much had it out with everyone in the room.....

She did not make a decision...  and called for a recess to review the  documents.... (how long does it take to look the forms over?).....
oh.. at one point she demanded that her verdict will not be made until the girls mother is brought in as a witness...   No one has seen her for YEARS...   her rights have been taken away YEARS ago...
the list goes on and on and on.....

I don't even know what to say...   I don't know what to type...
our next session is on Jan. 13th @ 11 am....    now, we will miss our flights home.... we will now miss Bailey's ball games on Sat.haven't seen ONE of her games this year yet...) ...  
everyone is saying there is NO way she will waive the waiting period... there's no reason to ask...s o that's officially out of the ? now....

The ladies who support us so much were so kind.. and gave us hugs and begged us not to be sad.. finally, through my tears in the van.. I said. that I just don't understand why she seems to want to attack us... we are trying to do a good thing here... give two little girls a wonderful home... and give them everything they could ever need... why is she so determined to attack us time and time again?  

As I was sitting in that court room fighting back the tears... and just let me tell you at about 1 hour and 30 minutes... you could just feel it was NOT going to end today.... I started just praying in my head and thanking the Lord for this judge... and the positive verdict and for Faith and Grace... and the scripture he gave me before court on Dec. 14 came to mind: 

"They will fight against you but will NOT overcome you, for I am with you and will rescue you, declares the Lord!"

Jeremiah 1:19:

...so I guess that all I can say is that even when my heart breaks into...  I don't understand why things are the way they are... I wish I could make things differently...  I am thankful that the Lord reminds us that HE is in control... and HE will rescue us (including Faith and Grace)!

Thank you Lord for your promises....  

PLEASE keep praying

Another Video

This is the 2nd video from Jan. 5th...  After the reunion video the caregiver had the girls run to the bathroom before leaving with us (to go play)...  this is the video of them returning to our arms after that... ;)   Listen closely... Grace says, "I love you" with NO promting with her little hands on my cheeks!!!!!   AAAAHHHH.... the sweetness of our heavenly father keeping these babies for us...  We are so blessed!!!

Reunion Video

The long awaited video is finally here... :)    The girls had NO idea we were there... and the caregiver didn't tell them it was us... she just called their names!  :)   Pure sweetness!!   (make sure you pause the music at the bottom of the blog... and don't have your volume to loud... Faith's screaming will HURT your ears and blow your speakers!  ;))  

Jan 8th - Update!

The Internet seems to be working better this afternoon so I decided to post some of the pictures I have been meaning to post from the last few days.   sorry about the video in the last post... I have spent so much time trying to get these 2 videos on the blog that it's really crazy.  I have tried EVERY suggestion (program) that anyone has sent... and still had NO luck.   I was able to email them to a friend today (and they appeared to send...) so hopefully she will be able to upload them for me... we shall see though! :)

Here are some pictures from Jan. 6th that I wanted to share:

Here are the gifts that we have all ready to go for 'after' court.   I got them ALL ready to go on Jan. 5th... hoping we'd need to be handing them out of Jan. 6th!  They are still sitting on our table!

Here's a close up on the photo card I made and attached to each gift...  I wanted to leave a picture of my precious babies with everyone who helped us!   I'm so thrilled about how cute they turned out!  I just had to share! :)

Here we are trying on the NEW boots that Aunt Linda sent.   I took them home and we had to exchange them for 3 sizes smaller.   Grace wears a 6 and Faith wears a 5!   They were THRILLED and LOVED them!



I guess I was feeling brave after court.. but, I decided to take baby lotion and just put some on their little hands and faces.  Their cheeks are SO dry due to the cold weather.   They LOVED it.. they smelled and smelled and smelled it!   We so take so much for granted..

 As I mentioned before Svetlana (lawyer) invited us to her home last night for Christmas dinner with her family.  The meal was delicious as well as great company.  I can't even begin to explain how kind and wonderful she is.  We enjoy spending time with her so much and she truly makes you feel so at ease.  We are so blessed with such a wonderful in-country staff.   We had a GREAT meal...it was delicious... lots of wonderful food, desserts, music, and GREAT company!

From left to right:  Symbat (translator), Me, Phil, Alexander (Svetlana's husband)  and Svetlana.   (Her son was taking the picture!)

The delicious goose!   It was wonderful.  Svetlana cooked it with apples, pineapples, and oranges.  It was wonderful!

Here are some pictures from our visit to the babyhouse yesterday - Jan. 7th!

Phil discovered that you can turn the view finder on the camera around so that the girls can see themselves while we're videoing them...  This was Faith's reaction to seeing herself in the screen!  ;)

Isn't that precious?  

The girls are just as excited with clothes/shoes, etc.. as they are with toys..   They were SO excited to try on their new coats.   We even said, "Thanks Aunt Linda" on video!  :)    They weren't smiling here.. but, wanted to show you the cute coats ( and boots)!
It's really amazing... they'll be playing and notice they are wearing their 'new' boots and the excitement starts all over again!  

Grace... She LOVES these Dora glasses and wears them most of the time! (so so so cute!)..  It's amazing how much different they look with some cute piggy tails and hair bows! ;)   They want me to fix their hair everyday FIRST thing! ;)

Faith and I...  Doesn't she look different with her hair pulled back?   They are so precious! ;)

Grace had taken her hair out... and decided to put the book on her head!   SILLY girl!  ;)

Papa had an owie... Faith was taking care of him!  ;)

We didn't have as good of a day with the girls today... it was stressful (honestly).   There was another family in the room and when we are sharing the room the girls SHOW-OFF... or test us or something...  who knows... but, it causes us to stress...      The girls always want to play with the other family's toys.. and we are constantly trying to keep them on our side of the room.   Grace wasn't herself today....  honestly we are wondering what's going on with her.   They both look so tired and have dark circles under their little eyes.   Grace was so much more active today... and we had a difficult time getting her to settle down at all.. :(

I am going to be honest here today... I had to fight off a melt down today while at the babyhouse... I am just so tired... the past 3 years of fighting for my kiddos has proven to be exhausting...    I am just so ready to get them out of here and home and safe and loved.   I am so tired of wondering and being watched... and feeling guilty and afraid for things as simple as baby lotion on their hands.    It's truly incredible... and SO tiring.   
There are times when we get so tired... and just want to fast forward life a little to get through this yucky part.. :)
However, as we were eating lunch today and I was telling Phil...   I don't want to fast forward and possibly miss what God is trying to do...  I have no idea what that is... but, I've always known down deep that our journey/life/adoption was for a HIGHER purpose that what we knew of... I just know and feel that the Lord has a plan in all the delays... all the discouragement... all the 'stuff' that gets so old and tiring to our selfish fleshly minds.. 
I was telling Phil that I know that it will only be seconds until I'm looking/thinking back about this very time... and 5 years will have gone by...  I will be the BUSY, yet content happy Mother to 4 adorable, sweet, and wonderfully adjusted and bonded little girls!
We are trying so SO SO very hard to relax... enjoy the time... seek the Lord and continue to trust him that his ways and timing are PERFECT!

Let me just tell you though that there are times when I want to scream...  when other families (who have arrived LONG after us) are finished with court and taking their babies home.... I want to say... OK Lord...  HELLO!    BUT, as quickly as we have those selfish/fleshly thoughts... we are reminded of all the ways/times that the Lord has proven to us that he is doing something FAR greater than we know...

Faith and Grace.... your precious little lives are touching so many people...   I can't wait to see what awesome things God has planned for your little lives!   Wow!   Gives me chills!      I am honored to be your Mama!   :)    You bless my heart in ways that you don't even know...  

Have a wonderful Saturday and remember today to NOT take the little things for granted.... there are thousands of babies/children/kids/adults worldwide who don't have the little things...   

Just thought I'd share one my my favorite quotes... just a little something to think about today... What can YOU do to make a difference??

"Sometimes, I'd like to ask the Lord why He allows poverty, famine and injustice in the world, when He could do something about it... but, I'm afraid He might ask me the same question!"

Jan. 7th post... and the VIDEO from Jan. 5th reunion! :)

Ok.... so here's the video... I was able to upload it to you tube (make it private).. then post it to the blog... whew!!! Just a warning... Pause the music at the bottom of the blog... and make sure your volume is NOT turned up high... the screams will be VERY loud!



... and I think it's safe to say they missed us as much as we missed them!  I never in a million years dreamed that Faith would SCREAM like that!!!  :)   It was PRECIOUS!    Grace was in shock... her mouth was wide, her eyes HUGE!! She was the one we'd have thought would SCREAM! It's amazing how they continue to surprise us!

We had another great visit this morning... We are having major Internet issues... so I'm not going to try to post pictures as well. Just know they are still adorable and enjoying the bows, glasses, and all the 'girlie' stuff that we brought to them. I took some baby lotion and we also put on lotion today. Something as simple as lotion is amazing to them. They continued to smell their hands and smile. It truly is precious! I can't wait to pamper them and show them how loved they truly are. :)

They continue to absorb English.. and we are working hard on simple body parts.   They already know and will say: nose, ear, eye...   I am telling you that they are amazing.  It's incredible what they already remember.    We feel like we discovered two precious jewels!!   We are so very blessed!! 

We are going to Svetlana's for dinner tonight at 6 pm. We are excited to see how her family celebrates their Christmas. I brought a box of brownies and I'm going to make those to take... they had NO idea what a brownie was when I asked. We'll post more after our dinner with them...
(if Internet will cooperate!)

Court Session number 2!

Well.. I will just start at the beginning.   The driver and staff picked us up at 10:30.   We then picked up the van full of people again and headed to the courthouse.   We all walked in together and met the BH director as well as another lady who spoke for us outside the courtroom.   We all hung out together in the hallway... and the ladies were all very kind to us.    We visited about lots of things like the weather and how the trip home was, etc...  we talked about their New Year's with their families and told them about our Christmas at home with Bay and Brook.   
After about 15 minutes they call our names and into the courtroom we go.   The room is much smaller than before... and the room we used on Jan. 14th was small.  This room was about 20 X 20 max.. and there were about 14 people crammed in it.     The judge started by having everyone introduce themselves.   She then asked if anyone had anything they wanted to say.   The BH Director spoke up and stated that her Dr's needed to speak first if that was ok.. cause they needed to leave.  She agreed to this and the head of the Dr's for the BH went first (we'd never seen her before).   She spoke of the twins medical history from Birth until now... and spoke for a LONG time.    The BH Dr. then spoke as well and confirmed all the things that the Director said as well.     As I sat there listening to the list of things the girls have been through and faced....  my heart just broke... as I knew they had been alone their entire little lives while facing so many challenges.   I quickly thought that I never wanted them to face another Dr's apt... or issue and not KNOW that their Mama and Papa are there with them always and forever.  

 However, I quickly remembered what the Lord spoke to me about 2 1/2 years ago... and that was that he had my babies in the palm of his hand.   I KNOW that he has held F and G gently in his hand from the time they were conceived in their Mothers womb... and for this I am SO very grateful!   
The Judge questioned the BH Dr. VERY extensively.    I am still amazed at the things she asked her.   She was very forceful and asked her if she was 100% sure that we could provide all that the twins need, etc... she just kept asking and really questioned her.   The Dr. was so very kind and continued to reassure the judge that she had NO doubt that we were the perfect parents for the twins. 

After that ?ing ended... she then asked which of us planned to speak first...  I of course drew the short straw between Phil and I... and gave my speech first.    I covered most everything imaginable... and reassured her (yes.. with HUGE tears) that we just felt and knew the girls were our daughters.   I only left out a small portion of my speech.... and overall remembered everything I wanted to say.   I felt that it went good... and most importantly I didn't BAWL uncontrollably... I got chocked up a couple times.. but, held it in and think the judge could genuinely see and feel that we loved the girls so much already.  

She then asked me questions and drilled me... I answered honestly and to the best of my ability.   She then said she had no further ?'s... and it was Phil's turn.    He gave his short speech... she drilled him...  He got chocked up.... all the women in the room were smiling and VERY touched.  :)   I think they are just in awe of the fact that he wants and is willing to be the Papa to 4 daughters! :)     He answered well..and he sat down.    Svetlana then told the judge that we had some video's of our time with the girls if she'd like to view them... and we shared pictures of the newly re-decorated room for F and G.  The judge wanted to see the videos... so I sat up the computer and played the video from yesterday for the judge and the entire court.   The ladies who wanted to view it crowded in behind me and the judge.. behind her seat.  (very NOT American... )     This is the video that I want to share with all of you... but, can't get to upload... anyway the ladies as well as the judge were ALL smiles... you CAN NOT watch this without a smile and see and feel the love... and at the end of it... Faith says in Russian to me...  "Mama, can we just go home now?"    They all heard this and the judge just looks at me and smiles!  I knew then that she has a heart!!!! :)     I then showed them a portion of another video from back in Nov... during bonding.  
The director of child services then spoke and she literally made me BAWL.   She said that in all her years as a professional.. doing this job.. she's never seen such progress in 2 children during a bonding time.   She also went on to say that she was so very impressed with our bonding... and how we played so appropriately with the girls.   We incorporated learning into the environment and she had never seen such a wonderful environment made for children to learn.  She said it was truly a 'teacher environment' and that you could see the love in both our eyes as we look at those girls.  She said she's honestly never seen such a strong bond and that she whole HEARTEDLY  supports our  adoption of these twins.   :)  

The director then speaks and agrees with her and says that it's truly obvious that my being an SLP is such a positive thing.   She also brags and says she's seen such HUGE gains in both girls, etc...  

I just had to smile inside.. as I watched and heard the Lord's favor!    It's truly amazing that the Lord has orchestrated this very day from the time that he led me to be and SLP.   Everything in our lives truly points to this point and we are SO very thankful for the Lord's amazing mercies and grace! 
At one point the Dr even said... that these girls need a FULL-TIME Speech-Language Pathologist!   :)   LOL!!!  Doesn't get much better than that! ;) 

At this point we've been in the courtroom for about 1 1/2 hours... it was a LONG time... 
They judge asks us some more ?'s... basically the same things over again..    

Everyone felt very good about the entire session and you could just feel the peace in the courtroom.   I just KNEW she was going to give her decision today... then next thing I know she is saying that our next session will be towards the end of the month... YES.. the END of Jan!    The revolt in the room again begins.... and the ladies FIGHT for us again.   She then changes her mind and says that she can work us into her schedule on the 11th at 2:00 pm.      

The ladies again are SO upset that she didn't give her verdict today... and say that she has NO reason to not give a YES!    They were saying.. that she already knows she's planning to say yes... and it's so silly to drag it out another few days.... but, it's ok.     We feel good about it.... and just continue to know that the Lord has a plan... and that plan is perfect!!!  ;) 
Svetlana says the 11th should be VERY simple.   Gather in the courtroom.. she'll ask if anyone has any changes or wants to add anything....  then she'll recess.. and come back in and give her positive verdict! 
;) 

We then came back to the apt. and made some lunch... whew... it was a morning! 
We went to visit F and G tonight from 4 - 6 and had another GREAT visit...  
Here are some pictures of the fun:   
(well.. forget the pics..  after another 45 mins. trying to load these... I'm giving up..  Svetlana was even saying tonight that the internet is really acted strange in this part of the city...   who knows why, but it is..  I've had fits just staying connected to get this typed out...)

so..  we have our last court session on Jan. 11th...  
Tomorrow is Christmas here in Kazakhstan... so nothing is open... the director said that we could go ahead and visit F and G tomorrow...but, made sure we all realized she was making a special privilege allowing us to... we're so thankful for that! :)

Svetlana has invited us to her home for Christmas dinner with her family tomorrow... we are honored and very excited to experience that....    We'll post pics (hopefully) and details soon! 
Thanks for the love, support, and prayers....
We are so very blessed by all of you!

and.. we are so thrilled that we are one step closer to having the girls home forever!! 

... and we're back!!!

I have so much to write and post about... but, wanted to start with the BEST part first...  after 19 days (79 hours of travel to get home.... 35 hours of travel to return.... TONS of love and hugs from Bay and Brook...  Christmas celebrations with the families.... as well as a COMPLETE redo and redecorate of Faith and Grace's room)... we are finally back in Pavlodar.  We arrived yesterday (Jan. 4th) @ around 11 am...  we immediatly found out we couldn't see F and G until today... we also had no internet until today... but, at 8:45 am on Jan. 5th....   we walked into the babyhouse after 19 days of MISSING them... and you can see below what their responses were:   :)
(Make sure you scroll to bottom of the blog to pause the music to hear the excitement and SCREAMS in the video!!! : ))

(OK... after trying to get this video to load for 2 hours... I am giving up.... I am SO sad that I can't get it to load..   I tried LOTS of things... using several recommendations of downsizing it.. etc...  and it still won't load... I'm assuming it's Kaz. internet... or the fact that I'm not techy... but, regardless... I am giving up... for now..  can anyone reading this email me some tips? )

(They screamed and ran and SCREAMED loud and jumped and threw themselves into our arms... they hugged and kissed and hugged and kissed us...over and over and over! )

YES!  You heard correctly...  Faith said to me... Mama, can we go home now?  ;)  yes... that's a tear jerker!!

After about 3 minutes... Grace put both her hands on both my cheeks... and after I kissed her said, "Mama, I LOVE YOU!"   (In English... as plain as day!)
They remembered us... and it was a GRAND day!   The Lord kept them... and I have NO doubt he was rocking them everynight for me!  :)

The caregivers said they have cried and waited on us... she used the word "cried!"    We had a GREAT day with them... as you can imagine.  
Here are a few pictures:




LOL!  Grace LOVED the sunglasses that we brought... and she LOVED it when I put on Faith's!!  :) 
This girl was SO excited to see us.. and just grinned HUGE the entire time!  :)



My precious Faith... :)   Goodness I sure love these babies...  My heart comletley melted into when she said to me... "Mama, Can we go home now?"   Awe..... 

Grace... This baby is incredible!  She did not forget ONE word of English... and was quick to say it all and show us that she knew it!!  :)   She continues to amaze me...  We are SO SO SO very blessed!

I just had to include this one... Grace.. You are such a CUTIE!  :)

An attempt at a family picture of all 4 of us...  an attempt!

WOW!   They were so excited with the new shoes, hair bow, and cute girl stuff that I brought!   It's amazing how excited they are at the smallest things...

Let me just tell you that while we were gone....  (and we weren't gone that long) Winter has definitly arrived.   It's colder than you can even imagine.. I mean COLD..  Right now it's -24 degrees F.  That's COLD!   I know we said before that we've never felt temps. so cold.. but, we continue to be amazed... they were correct when they said that it wasn't really cold yet... oh my goodness!   It's beyond cold! 

It physically hurts to breath the air in... your chest hurts after a few breaths....  IT'S COLD!

We have court in the morning (Jan. 6th) @ 11:00 am... so that will be Jan. 5th (Wed) night at 11 PM for most of you!

PLEASE say a prayer and think of us....  

I have so many things to post and tell all of you about....  finding the time and energy to type it all out... but, for now we have to focus on tomorrow....

we're praying that tomorrow will be it...  and that the judge will be so moved that she'll make a decision tomorrow and not make us have a 3rd court date of Jan. 11th.  The lawyer says this is definilty possible.   Please trust God with us that his will will be completed!

(and that somehow - someway there will be a HUGE miracle and she'll waive the waiting time after court... so we don't have to leave the girls here again and come back for them!)  

Thanks for the love, support, and prayers... maybe by this time tomorrow... we'll be officially the parents of 4 precious girls!!  Thank you Lord for you amazing favor tomorrow!!!

Night from Pavlodar!



(please email video posting tips... I'm so sad that it would load.. :( )