I am honestly so disappointed in myself that I've not made the time to come here and write more often in the past months... but, I haven't... I'm sorry!
I will try to write more and do better... I have SO SO SO SO many posts brewing and in my soul and spirit just waiting to SPILL out that once I ever really get going here it might be unreal the amount to 'stuff' I share... :)
I have no idea if anyone is even still here or reading about our little family, but there are some things I want to share.
Faith and Grace have been home 10 months! Amazing... absolutely amazing....
It honestly feels like they've ALWAYS been here... :) HOWEVER, I can easily (and I mean easily) remember one year ago RIGHT now... Anyone else remember? We were in Kazakhstan - FIGHTING for our girls! We'd had 5 court sessions, been gone from home around 3 months, but had experienced miracle after miracle after miracle!
My post for one year ago today was a tear jerker for me: Click here to read! It is SO easy for me to remember EVERYTHING about that time in our lives. I can remember the smells, sights, sounds.... waking up in the middle of the night in that cold apartment - CRYING out to God! I remember feeling his presence in the midst of spiritual warfare. I remember KNOWING we were battling things beyond ourselves... and KNOWING that our God was GREATER than any power, or force that was against us.
I can also remember days of desperation.... days when I wondered if we would surely crumble under the weight of it all... One year ago today was one of those days when we had to DECIDE if we were going to keep battling or just give up.. IT. WAS. HARD!
Maybe one of you are struggling with something in your own life. Maybe you are waiting on God to move... maybe your heart is breaking. Maybe you are facing situations in your life that 'look' impossible... Don't FEAR... lean on Jesus.. I can promise you that HE WILL COME THROUGH for you. It might 'feel' like he's left you... it might 'feel' like he's forgotten, but rest assured my friends... HE. HAS. NOT. FORGOTTEN. YOU!
Remembering the past few weeks as we walked through that battle one year ago has been emotional for me... it's been amazing to re walk the road again this year... and honestly, it's helped the fights to not seem so loud, the battles to feel not so big and the HUGS and KISSES to be sweeter and longer! :)
Reading back and remembering our life one year ago and the fact that Faith and Grace were in that orphanage tonight one year ago... makes my heart sink. It honestly is SO humbling. I can't even tell you how honored we are that God chose us to walk this road. I feel so unworthy and undeserving. Thank goodness that our God doesn't look at who we are, but what we can become THROUGH and WITH him!
The past 10 months have been AMAZING! I honestly don't know how to find the words to adequately describe it.
There have been ups and there have been downs.
We have experienced everything from massive loving and happiness to tears and meltdowns and fighting! There has been food thrown, hugs given, and snuggles happen. Along with spitting, smiling, and lots of bath time!
I have to admit that the good, happy times WAY out weigh the bad, but there have been times when I've sat down and just cried.
Lots of people have asked us how we are all 'really' doing. It's really easy to answer this question. We are really all doing AWESOME! As I just mentioned, it's not all been a bed of roses and there are still LOTS of times when it's overwhelming around here... but, overall things are incredible.
It's hard to describe the progress that Faith and Grace have honestly made... the BEST way I know to describe it is this: They were two little girls who had NEVER basically been outside the walls and iron fence of an institution in Kazakhstan. Faith had NEVER ridden in a car (since she was 3 months old) and Grace had only ridden in a car ONE time before. It was like taking 2 little babies who were starving for attention, food, love and stimulation and giving them the world. Just imagine what it had/has to be like for them. They are most likely still in shock! ;) I've read LOTS of stories and books and blogs about attachment, bonding, and families... and I know that we've been SUPER blessed! Faith and Grace have both bonded to us like little magnets. Yes, there are some issues and we still have struggles. They get overstimulated easily and we've had to adjust lots.... but, overall they have changed and developed and attached. They are speaking English, singing, playing and going 900 mph nonstop! :)
We've also had LOTS of people ask about the famous big sisters! Bailey and Brooklyn are amazing! I posted on facebook a few times about how incredibly blessed I feel... and I mean that! Baily has matured and stepped into the role of BIGGEST sister in ways that are baffling! She is incredible with them and SO wise beyond her years. Brook has done amazing as well! She has (of course) had a little harder time figuring out her place in all this craziness... but, has LOVED her new role as BIG sister as well. She loves to carry them around and baby them and pretend. Bailey and Brooklyn have both adjusted amazingly well and honestly I once again am in awe of God's amazing plan! Silly - I know! Why would I think he'd do something halfway! It's amazing how when God does something... he takes care of EVERYONE involved!!! Amazing... and just like HIM!
I have lots of pics to share and even a couple of videos, but I'll just have to wait on those...sorry! I really do plan to attempt to post more often and share more of God's dealings and the churnings in my heart. I have NO idea if any of you are interested in reading them... but, maybe they will encourage someone!
I have such a churning in my spirit these past few weeks and God has shown me some things... I don't want to waste ONE second of this precious life of not being in his perfect will.... Life is TOO short!
Remember today that God's Grace is sufficent! I will leave you with Faith's precious prayer at dinner time last night: "Jesus, fank (thank) you dis (this) food... fank(thank) you Mama, Papa - Daddy, Bay bay, Bwookie (Brook), Nan (Nana), Everwfang (everything), and fank (thank) you Jesus - you say no more Faif (Faith) and Gwace (Grace) in orpahange. Amen"
Life my friends - doesn't get any more real that that.... a baby thanking Jesus for saying, "No more Faith and Grace in orphanage!" Thank you Jesus SO much for loving the Fatherless... help us every single day to be MORE LIKE YOU!!!!!
Visit our website...
Click here to visit our website to read about how our journey to international adoption began... and how God spoke to our hearts to open our lives and family to a child who otherwise might not ever know him.
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