I want to share a little about today with you... cause I don't ever want anyone to think I'm not 'real'... We are trying SO very hard to cling to the Lord and his promises and make the CHOICE to trust him... and we have done that! We have confessed it... said it in our hearts, prayed it to the Lord, and said it OUT LOUD to each other numerous times!!
However, even when you make that choice... and are trying with EVERYTHING within you to live that choice.. or totally trusting God in your situation.... that doesn't mean it's not going to easy.. in fact, I think that most times it's gonig to be hard... and sad... and heartbreaking... but, even in the midst of falling across our bed in tears today (missing Bay and Brook so much I had a good cry)... down deep... I KNOW the it is going to be ok! I didn't have that great of a day today. I have been so emotional... my tears are right there... about 1/2 second from appearing and I can feel it. I finally gave in and had a GREAT hard cry... and that helped some!
Just when I think... this is so incredibly hard and I can't take it here ONE MORE DAY.... I put the sim card in the computer to look at the pictures from today.... and here is the answer... (times 2!)....
Is there really anything else that I need to say? The Lord has a plan for these babies... and he is holding Bay and Brook in his hand as well... We took the picture albums that we are required to have for the judge for court with us today. (We went ahead and had 2 copies of all the pictures printed... so we'd have a copy in case anyone keeps it!) You have to have pictures from everyday of bonding to show the judge. The girls were SO excited to see themselves with Mama and Papa in pictures. I'm sure it was probably the first time they've ever seen pictures of themselves. They were SO excited! They pointed out everything in every picture... over and over and over!! SWEET memories! :)
Grace is showing Faith that she's in her picture... ;)
A close-up of Grace's eye today... OUCH! She has quite a shiner!
I had them to kiss each other.. and got this one... Phil and I were talking today and it's so sad but they don't even know how to be affectionate with each other... :( so sad..
...oh and those pink wash clothes... I brought those today as blankets for the dolls... They loved that! The simplest things are the best toys!As we were leaving the BH this younger group was bundled up and headed to the playground ahead... (it's NOT a playground by our standards.... SO SO SO sad)
We went out tonight with our translator and driver and drove around Pavlodar. They wanted to show us the New Year's Lights. These are all at the enbankment/park area. Phil and I walked down there on Sunday evening and looked around... but, it was SO cold that the camera would not turn on.... however, tonight was a little warmer... so we got some pictures. This is the FAMOUS New Year's Fir Tree. Symbat says it's very popular here and everyone comes to see it! It is very big and quite beautiful!
This picture is across the street from the tree... That is the outside ice skating rink. It's very big and pretty... and LOTS of people skate every night... it's Tuesday night here and it was packed. I really thought about giving it a try.. but, noticed quickly that EVERYONE can really skate.... We did not see anyone holding onto the side like an idiot... so I decided not to give it a try. Plus ~ Phil really wants to avoid a hospital visit while here... so he strongly discouraged it!The building behind the rink is the Mayor's building... That's what Symbat said.
Here we are with Garnadi - he's also Svetlana's (lawyer) Papa! We really wish we could communicate with him more.. he seems so nice.. but, we have to communicate through the translator! (except for simple things)
Lights across the streets.
Have a wonderful Wednesday... Paka for now!
9 comments:
Lanetta I cant imagine how hard this is, but keep faith and know your family are in my thoughts and prayers. You have 4 beautiful girls and loving family and friends. Just picture the day (soon) when you have the whole family together in Perkins!
Best Wishes and Merry Christmas,
Tonisha Rapp
Yes, still reading the blog...praying daily for you and your family, the judge, timing, etc... Your open honest sharing is VERY real! I feel your feelings... Continuing to check in and know the court date is coming! What a process and investment, I honestly had NO idea what would be involved after you arrived. Love you guys and pray for the miracle of Christmas to be more real to you than ever. Shari
Thank you for sharing your heart. It is so very hard to feel out of control. Especially when it comes to your children. We spent a total of 7 1/2 months in Pavlodar and there were time when I really thought I'd loose my mind and now that I'm home, I have days when I actually miss being there. Reading your blog and seeing those pictures makes me miss that unique time in our lives. I know it's so hard but try to just enjoy every moment b/c it truly is a time you'll never have back. You guys are amazing! You faith and your mindset is an encouragement to me! Thank you!
Kari Letterneau
I read your blog every single morning. It has become part of my routine! LOL I wake up, get a cup of coffee and sit down and read your blog, pray for you guys, and then wake the kids and get ready for the day!! LOL Sometimes the kids are awake and want me to read it to them and they love looking at the pictures of the girls. Especially Gracie(she's 5) and has a huge heart, so when I read it to her she cries and you can tell her heart is truly breaking for those babies that don't have a home! God is amazing! I love you guys and God Bless~ Shannon Alexander
I read the blog every day, except weekends. You guys are missed muched, Nana had to fill in for Cody's manicures. This is just a moment in time . . . just a moment. Like Nana tells Brooklyn . . . everyday that goes by is one day closer. Easy to say I know than to live it. Many, many unseen, unspoken, people are praying for you / yours. Christy M.
Lanetta & Phil,
God just shines His light through you. It is amazing how you can get up each day, even though your hearts are breaking for your little ones back home, and carry onward. I love how you praise Him through the storms and trials you have been through there in Kaz. He is making you stronger and molding you through this time. Keep on keeping on and don't stop looking UP! :)
You are doing so well handling everything! I love the picture of the twins at the beginning of your post, they look happy!
Lanetta, you asked if we are still reading? The answer is YES!! I cannot wait until you have your court date. Although you trust in God's timing, waiting is SO, SO hard. I will pray that you get an answer soon (and hopefully your court date will be soon too!)
Rose Hughes
We're still reading lanetta, still reading!! wishing you everything you wish for yourself and more. The girls are changing so much with your love. Hoping it falls into place soon for you - I know how hard it must be to be away from home so long. Soon, it will be viewed from the lens of retrospection as a blink of the eye and the journey you needed to take, the time you needed to spend with the twins before you got back to bay and brook. Bonds are being formed now that need to before you return to be a larger family. Thinking of you and wishing you well daily!
Steph
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