Gobble Family Adoption

"Tearing down the Impossible!"

2012-01-23T21:42:00.000-06:00

I have mentioned a couple of times recently about the promptings in my spirit lately... and I just wanted to share with you a couple of things tonight!

I have signed up to receive updates from several blogs of woman that really encourage my heart... I received an email update from one of them today, who completely resonated with my heart regarding, "Tearing down the Impossibles in YOUR life!"    Click here to read the post and visit her blog!

SO... as I read what she wrote today,  I could relate in SO many ways.

I can not even tell you how glad I am that for one time/journey/situation in my life - I DID NOT allow the dream to be silenced.

There were many times/ways/people/things that attempted to silence it.   SOME didn't even know they were attempting to silence it... some KNEW!      There were days that it all looked so impossible that it was OVERWHELMING!

The silencing was attempted from the VERY beginning.... and continues EVEN today. There are always going to be people who are just going to be negative and tear you down with words, looks, comments, or with their absence of words, looks, or comments.

As I've also mentioned before about Faith and Grace really teaching me/us so much - this has never been more true than when looking at this journey from this angle.          I have learned SO SO much during this journey, and I've grown in ways that humble and amaze even me.    BUT, there are times that I still fight against the voices/things/feelings who try to silence it.

I have seen God move in ways that are unbelievable... in fact, some think/believe that it wasn't even God who did this very thing in my life... some think it was just part of the big plan of life and regardless of a God being there or not - it would have happened if it was 'meant' to be.

Thus attempting to "silence the dream!"

I could give you specific examples of things that happened, things that didn't happen, family members who hurt us, friends who deserted us, and close family and friends who just ignored us and walked away.

PLEASE today... consider these words and know that they were for you!    Find the possible inside the impossible... It's RIGHT there!      I know some of you are struggling with things/people/ situations who are silencing you.... PLEASE focus on the possible that is right inside the impossible.    BE encouraged today... have FAITH and trust that God never calls us to do anything that he's not already equipped us with the ability to do!

I have to leave you with the last portion of Lysa's blog post:

"Oh how impossibility loves to scream into gaps of silenced dreams.

But here’s the thing about impossible- there is some part of what we’re attempting that isn’t impossible.

All impossibilities have a weak spot.

And that’s the exact place where we must attack.

A book might seem impossible. But that’s not where writers should start anyhow. There’s an article that could be written. Or in today’s world a tweet that could be crafted. Or a blog posted.

Write there. In the weak spot of impossibility.

Maybe it’s your marriage that seems impossible. Go against the grain of your hurt feelings and silent brush-offs. Think on just one thing you do love about that man of yours today. Send him a text about how much you appreciate that one thing. Praise him for that one thing. Tell someone else about that one thing you noticed today.

Start there. In the weak spot of impossibility.

I don’t know what impossibility you might be facing today.

But remember- all impossibilities have a weak spot. It’s there. Ask God to show you where it is. Ask God for just enough strength to attack there. Tear it down one good decision at a time.

And soon you will see, inside every impossible is the word “possible”… if only we dare to see it."

Taken from Lysa TerKeurst's Blog - www.lysaterkeurst.com

A year later... a different perspective!

2012-01-21T01:22:00.000-06:00

It's 12:20 am on Jan. 21st, 2012... in my mind it still feels like Jan. 20, 2012.... so let me fill you in on my day just a little bit.

Phil had elbow surgery today.   We've been in the hospital all day. His surgery was this morning and it took a little over 3 hours, then recovery and finally in a room this evening!   It was a LONG day.   He is doing good, but in a lot of pain!   Morphine + some other NICE strong pain meds are helping him out and he's enjoying that IV drip... I on the other hand am a little stir crazy.    I can't stop thinking about one year ago RIGHT now...
Goodness... how has it been a year already? and GOODNESS... it feels like 12 years ago!   It's amazing how it feels like such a long time ago and just yesterday all in the same thought!

Today has been a good day... despite being concerned about my Phil! :)   It was one of those days that I knew I was EXACTLY where I was supposed to be at the EXACT time I was supposed to be there. I. LOVE. KNOWING. THAT!     It makes me smile inside and feel so humbled at the same time!   I can't tell you how wonderful it really feels to share about our amazing God!    I can remember a time when I was leery to share... and wondered how people would look at me, think of me, or label me...   Not anymore... honestly, it gets easier EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. you share and the amazing feeling of 'knowing' you are sharing about the Lord... well, that's indescribable to me!   Try it... you will not believe how wonderful it feels!    As you've probably guessed I had some conversations with some people in the waiting room today.    Amazing... While I was chatting with, showing love to, and getting to know COMPLETE strangers - who just 'happened' (yeah right) to be in the exact waiting room I was in today... I realized that maybe I should volunteer and just show up in hospitals.   There were SO many worried people in that one large area today.    It was so amazing to just begin to talk with them... and before you know it... God is opening up an amazing door to witness for him!   SIMPLY amazing!

I also enjoyed today with 'just' my Phil!   I'm sure he will shake his head at me and smile (maybe ;)) in a few days when he reads this, but we talked on the way to the hospital about where we were one year ago right now.
ONE year ago right now... I can tell you exactly where we were...    Jan. 20, 2011 was the day we had court session number 6! It was a day of desperation for us... it was a day that we wondered if we would survive the very thing God had called us to do...   It was the day BEFORE our breakthrough and man o man am I SO glad and thankful that we didn't give up... You see we were ONCE again on the BRINK of something amazing.    We didn't know it, but HE knew it!     Remember that this story of our journey and life is for YOU... to remind YOU tonight/today/tomorrow that you never know when YOUR miracle is 12 hours from occurring. You never know - God could be sending your miracle the very next second.   If you'd like to read about where we were one year ago today... CLICK HERE.

Don't give up my precious friends!   No matter what the circumstances around you look like! No matter who is believing or trusting with you! No matter how impossible it looks! No matter how you FEEL!   DIG into the word... quote scriptures OUT LOUD and remind the Lord of the promises that he has promised YOU!     Those scriptures in that bible are for YOU and me!    You can trust him! Believe him... HE desires to see YOUR hearts desire come to pass.   HE LOVES YOU and cares where you are today!   In fact, I believe IF you are reading this, it was for a purpose! :)   He knew you needed to read it!

Sorry... I got a little 'preachy' there!   Sometimes that just happens when I start writing!

In between talking with my new friends (waiting room companions) I've had LOTS of alone time to think!   Phil and I talked on the way here about the past year and we talked about IF we could go back one year in time EXACTLY - back to that court room in Kazak... would we do anything differently?!    It was an eye opener for us and made us realize that we needed to live each day with NO regrets! I wish I could look back over the past year and say that I had NO regrets, but, that's not true...   We do have things we'd do differently!   Goodness...those first few weeks home.. (if I knew what I know now) would most definitely be differently!

So...   It's actually 12:45 am here... so in Pavlador, Kazakhstan it's 12:36 pm on Jan. 21, 2012.   That means that exactly ONE year ago right now we were at the apartment getting ready to go to court session number 7!     It was NOT a fun time...   I will never forget it.    I don't think we ate anything.   I think we were fairly silent and it was a pretty quite place.   Phil focused on praise and worship songs on his MP3.   I read, reread and quoted EVERY single scripture I could find and remember. I sat at this very laptop at the desk in that apartment and read and reread all YOUR comments and messages.   Comments of love, prayers and MASSIVE concern.    If you sent us a message - YOU will never know how much to encouraged us!   THANK YOU!      Some of you sent messages more than once... if that was you.. THANK you a million times over... and if you prayed... thank you a zillion times.

Phil is dozing in and and out of sleep...   If you'd have told me where I'd be today ONE year ago right now.. I'd have laughed and said BRING it on!   Now.... I'd go back there!     Isn't it amazing how life works?   Phil had pizza for dinner (it sounded good to him) and I asked him if it was good.   He said, "It's ok, but it's NOT Classic Pizza!"

Jan. 21, 2011 - It was the day that the judge FINALLY said YES!   It was not what I had anticipated.... now, don't get me wrong...   it was awesome, incredible, and amazing!   We were humbled, honored, and OH so so thankful!   Looking back at the blog, I realize I didn't even update for weeks later... sorry about that!
I honestly got SO sick.   I can't even explain how physically sick I became while we were at Krendal's celebrating that night... and it just continued to get worse and worse.   I remember the flight from Pavlodar to Almaty - I stayed in the bathroom of that little plane for 80% of the flight... SO sick!       It was the physical effects of fighting on so many levels for so long (I think)... and the combination of leaving F and G there.   It was heartbreaking, yet ok... because we knew they were REALLY ours.

One year - 365 days ago right now... was life changing for us!   We were blessed beyond our wildest imagination and didn't even really know or realize how much we were being 'saved' by two precious, tiny, underweight, miraculous twin babies!       365 days ago they were kissing a book with pictures of their Nana and sisters... TONIGHT they are snuggled up with Nana in her house- sleeping soundly! Their tummies are full, their hearts are full, and I can promise you they KNOW they are loved by their family and an amazing SAVIOR! :)

Then Jesus said,

“Did I not tell you if you believed you would see the Glory of God!”

John 11:41

Trust him... PLEASE... Trust him! It's ALL for YOU Lord... All for YOUR Glory!

I can't wait to see what the next 365 days brings! Bring it Lord! :) Phil and I laughed today and talked about where we'd be on this day next year! You just never know... but, I can promise you this - We will be attempting with EVERYTHING in us to be where he wants us to be!!! :)

.... and the journey continues!!!

A year ago - - and some ramblings! :)

2012-01-16T20:54:00.000-06:00

I am honestly so disappointed in myself that I've not made the time to come here and write more often in the past months... but, I haven't... I'm sorry!

I will try to write more and do better...     I have SO SO SO SO many posts brewing and in my soul and spirit just waiting to SPILL out that once I ever really get going here it might be unreal the amount to 'stuff' I share... :)

I have no idea if anyone is even still here or reading about our little family, but there are some things I want to share.
Faith and Grace have been home 10 months! Amazing... absolutely amazing....
It honestly feels like they've ALWAYS been here... :)      HOWEVER, I can easily (and I mean easily) remember one year ago RIGHT now...    Anyone else remember?    We were in Kazakhstan - FIGHTING for our girls!    We'd had 5 court sessions, been gone from home around 3 months, but had experienced miracle after miracle after miracle!
My post for one year ago today was a tear jerker for me: Click here to read!   It is SO easy for me to remember EVERYTHING about that time in our lives. I can remember the smells, sights, sounds.... waking up in the middle of the night in that cold apartment - CRYING out to God! I remember feeling his presence in the midst of spiritual warfare.   I remember KNOWING we were battling things beyond ourselves... and KNOWING that our God was GREATER than any power, or force that was against us.
I can also remember days of desperation.... days when I wondered if we would surely crumble under the weight of it all... One year ago today was one of those days when we had to DECIDE if we were going to keep battling or just give up.. IT. WAS. HARD!

Maybe one of you are struggling with something in your own life.    Maybe you are waiting on God to move... maybe your heart is breaking.    Maybe you are facing situations in your life that 'look' impossible... Don't FEAR... lean on Jesus..    I can promise you that HE WILL COME THROUGH for you.   It might 'feel' like he's left you... it might 'feel' like he's forgotten, but rest assured my friends... HE. HAS. NOT. FORGOTTEN. YOU!

Remembering the past few weeks as we walked through that battle one year ago has been emotional for me... it's been amazing to re walk the road again this year... and honestly, it's helped the fights to not seem so loud, the battles to feel not so big and the HUGS and KISSES to be sweeter and longer! :)

Reading back and remembering our life one year ago and the fact that Faith and Grace were in that orphanage tonight one year ago... makes my heart sink.     It honestly is SO humbling. I can't even tell you how honored we are that God chose us to walk this road.   I feel so unworthy and undeserving. Thank goodness that our God doesn't look at who we are, but what we can become THROUGH and WITH him!

The past 10 months have been AMAZING!   I honestly don't know how to find the words to adequately describe it.
There have been ups and there have been downs.
We have experienced everything from massive loving and happiness to tears and meltdowns and fighting!      There has been food thrown, hugs given, and snuggles happen. Along with spitting, smiling, and lots of bath time!
I have to admit that the good, happy times WAY out weigh the bad, but there have been times when I've sat down and just cried.

Lots of people have asked us how we are all 'really' doing. It's really easy to answer this question. We are really all doing AWESOME!       As I just mentioned, it's not all been a bed of roses and there are still LOTS of times when it's overwhelming around here... but, overall things are incredible.

It's hard to describe the progress that Faith and Grace have honestly made... the BEST way I know to describe it is this:    They were two little girls who had NEVER basically been outside the walls and iron fence of an institution in Kazakhstan.   Faith had NEVER ridden in a car (since she was 3 months old) and Grace had only ridden in a car ONE time before.    It was like taking 2 little babies who were starving for attention, food, love and stimulation and giving them the world.   Just imagine what it had/has to be like for them.    They are most likely still in shock! ;)      I've read LOTS of stories and books and blogs about attachment, bonding, and families... and I know that we've been SUPER blessed!   Faith and Grace have both bonded to us like little magnets.    Yes, there are some issues and we still have struggles. They get overstimulated easily and we've had to adjust lots.... but, overall they have changed and developed and attached.   They are speaking English, singing, playing and going 900 mph nonstop! :)

We've also had LOTS of people ask about the famous big sisters! Bailey and Brooklyn are amazing! I posted on facebook a few times about how incredibly blessed I feel... and I mean that! Baily has matured and stepped into the role of BIGGEST sister in ways that are baffling!   She is incredible with them and SO wise beyond her years.    Brook has done amazing as well!   She has (of course) had a little harder time figuring out her place in all this craziness... but, has LOVED her new role as BIG sister as well.     She loves to carry them around and baby them and pretend.     Bailey and Brooklyn have both adjusted amazingly well and honestly I once again am in awe of God's amazing plan!   Silly - I know!    Why would I think he'd do something halfway!   It's amazing how when God does something... he takes care of EVERYONE involved!!!    Amazing... and just like HIM!

I have lots of pics to share and even a couple of videos, but I'll just have to wait on those...sorry!   I really do plan to attempt to post more often and share more of God's dealings and the churnings in my heart.   I have NO idea if any of you are interested in reading them... but, maybe they will encourage someone!

I have such a churning in my spirit these past few weeks and God has shown me some things...    I don't want to waste ONE second of this precious life of not being in his perfect will.... Life is TOO short!

Remember today that God's Grace is sufficent!      I will leave you with Faith's precious prayer at dinner time last night:   "Jesus, fank (thank) you dis (this) food...   fank(thank) you Mama, Papa - Daddy, Bay bay, Bwookie (Brook), Nan (Nana), Everwfang (everything),    and fank (thank) you Jesus - you say no more Faif (Faith) and Gwace (Grace) in orpahange.   Amen"

Life my friends - doesn't get any more real that that.... a baby thanking Jesus for saying, "No more Faith and Grace in orphanage!"        Thank you Jesus SO much for loving the Fatherless... help us every single day to be MORE LIKE YOU!!!!!

PLEASE go read this and then PRAY!

2011-12-16T13:13:00.000-06:00

My heart is bursting....
PLEASE join me in spreading the word.... we have to find this child's family!

PLEASE click here and join me in praying for him...

OVERWHELMING Thankfulness...

2011-11-11T12:46:00.001-06:00

I just received a phone call from Faith and Grace's Pre-K teacher.   She was almost in tears.   She quickly tells me that she had to call and share!     They were doing a Thanksgiving project and she pulled the kids aside to ask them what they are MOST thankful for...    Faith (without any hesitation) responds, "My Mama for getting me from the orphanage!"

As I'm sitting at my desk here at work... bawling my eyes out and thanking God for his AMAZING blessings on our family - my phone beeps!   I receive a text from her and Grace's answer is just as emotional for me - - Grace answered, "My Mama - cause she holds me!"

I can't even express the emotion when I hear things like this.

There was a time when I was SO tired. I was tired of fundraising. I was tired of redoing paperwork. I was tired of answering questions with NO new news to report.   I was tired of the looks and the whispers behind my back. I was tired of people asking if it was EVER going to 'really' happen. I was tired of questioning it all myself.    I was tired of waiting.    (If you've not followed our story... just check out the L O N G timeline on the right side!)

I am can't even encourage you enough that if you are also TIRED.... if you are tired of waiting... DON'T. GIVE. UP!!! No matter what you are facing or 'waiting' on.

There were SO. MANY. TIMES that I felt I was fundraising and standing alone... I wondered where in the world my God was.    I was EXHAUSTED from the emotions... I was EXHAUSTED from the struggles.

However....   When I receive a call like this one... I remember that my God was and is so so so FAITHFUL.

I am so incredibly humbled and thankful today that I was chosen by my God 4 times.... I was chosen and entrusted to be 4 precious girl's Mama!!!    I am honored.... and to say that I'm thankful today... well, that's putting it mildly!

A miracle.... It's been ONE year!

2011-11-04T23:44:00.000-05:00

It was one year ago today that we met Faith and Grace in that cold orphanage in Pavlodar, Kazkahstan.
One Year ago today that our God performed an amazing miracle…

We met them and knew they were our daughters, but had to rely on God to show up in a HUGE way…. I could retype the story out, but I’ve already written it in last year’s posts: 1) Update - Can you PLEASE help us?, 2)God is SO awesome! , and 3) This is the UPDATE of a lifetime!!!! PLEASE go back and read those… Join us in praising our God for miracle after miracle after miracle!

I know that so many of you moved in lightening speech to spread the word on this very day one year ago…. And you bombarded facebook, email, and contacted anyone who you knew that might help… I have a HUGE favor… Will you PLEASE forward this email/post on to those same people again…PLEASE! Will you help me show and spread the word about how awesome it truly is when we obey Christ.

I wish there was some way I could get in contact with EVERYONE who played a part in the miracle… but, I have NO way to contact most of them…. I need your help! I want everyone to know how truly thankful we are! Thank you SO SO SO much! We pray that God blesses you one thousand times over for your giving and kind hearts!

The miracle that occurred on Nov. 4, 2010 is PROOF that God is alive and well and will move through us when we allow him to.

God is so so so awesome!

Faith and Grace have been home 7 ½ months and the transformation is staggering. Yes, there are most definitely days that are overwhelming and sometimes the stress level is HIGH… but, they have made such progress is it really unbelievable if you think back to one year ago tonight! Wow… God had his hand on them… and it’s absolutely a miracle in SO many ways that they are asleep in our home tonight!

God, it’s ALL for you and YOUR glory!

Be encouraged tonight… and remember that often God is working the most on your behalf when you feel him the least! Remember that your miracle could be about to happen…. DON’T give up on the BRINK of your miracle!

Thank you again for your continued love and support of our family! We are so so so blessed to have had such love and support!

Here we are on Nov. 5, 2010. This was the day we said YES! :)

Here we are TODAY!

Here's our first picture of Faith and Grace.... then known as Stella and Violetta (S and V)!

AND... Here are our precious adorable babies TODAY! These 2 angels are truly amazing... and as you can see in this picture... their personalities come shining through! We are in AWE of our God and the miracles we see EVERY. SINGLE. DAY!

Our 4 girls all together in ONE big hug... all looking at the camera and smiling... THAT is truly a miracle in itself, and that my dear friends makes this Mama's heart soar BIG!

On the brink....

2011-11-01T21:58:00.003-05:00

(Before I really start this post I want to explain about the new 'look'... ummm... well, I realized that the background was not showing up at all.. meaning it was hard to see lots of things... so I found this generic template where at least EVERYTHING is showing up. THIS IS NOT how I want the blog to look... and SOON (hopefully) I will update it - Goodness it needs some serious updating... it's in the works - It really is!)

Now... on to the REAL reason I am writing...

Well... I have felt this compelling need to come here to the blog and write about this very thing for DAYS… so, here I am!

It's a post of encouragement to ANY of you who might be about to 'throw in the towel' so to speak. I know that lots of you are facing things in your lives that you wish would END already. Some of you have honestly been trusting God for a miracle for a LONG time... and are wondering if he even cares or realizes that you are hurting....

Well... let me take you back - 1 year ago TODAY!

I was stranded in Kazakhstan... I remember those last few days before we met Faith and Grace SO vividly... Lots of people told me I'd forget and it would all be a blur. Some of it is... but, honestly, my stomach is rolling right now as I think back and reflect on that very time.... those 2 1/2 weeks when we were in country 'waiting' to meet our 'son'.... :) Now - if you don't know our story, and what we went through in country, then I suggest you go back and read through the blog from about Oct. 23 - Nov. 2nd, 2010. That will give you a good idea (sort of) of what we were going through.

However, at that time we didn't know who might be hacking into the blog, reading what we were writing, thinking, saying...etc.. and so I was somewhat reserved.

To be completely honest, I wasn't completely honest

It was BRUTAL! We talked about giving up... we asked ourselves if we had missed God. We didn't understand why we were there and NOT meeting our child. We were running out of money. We were both off from our jobs with NO pay. We hadn't even started the process of bonding and court, etc... and it had been weeks. We were desperate for God to show up and show up big.

I just read back through a few of those posts from one year ago today.... and on the day that I went on a walk alone... it was a BAD day. I didn't understand what was happening. I threw a HUGE fit... I walked around those streets in that city (not a very safe thing to do... but, I didn't care) and cried out to God.... I sat in a park bench in the city park... 1/2 of a world away from our family and just about threw in the towel. It was tough... it was hard and it felt like God had forsaken us...

As I look back and think back to that time now... I am just so thankful that we held on. We clung to each other and our God and the promises he had given us. We quoted the scriptures and the promises that he has given us and you better believe it I reminded him of what he had told me.

Even in the midst of "knowing" he did have a plan it was SO tempting to give up and walk away. I had followed other families for years and they walked over and came home in one month - court completed - families intact.. WHY US?! WHY God... WHY??!!!

I am assuming that most everyone who is reading this knows about our miracle, and what God did on Nov. 4, 2010! Wow…. And to think that when we were SO low and about to give up… we were 48-72 hours away from a miraculous breakthrough… WOW!

I came here because I know that someone who will read this in the next few days is facing some sort of struggle in their life and they are considering just giving up.

Maybe you are facing a 'wait' for your adoption and you don't think you can stand to wait another day/hour/second….HOLD ON!

Maybe you are struggling in the area of finances and things look so hopeless that you are about to just give up.... HOLD ON!!!

Maybe you are in a marriage and you've been trusting God for a miracle for years and you are about to give up... HOLD ON!!!!

Maybe you are unemployed and need work and wonder if God sees your babies are hungry and need clothes... HOLD ON!

Maybe you are reading this and considering taking your own life... because things are just not right in your world... and you've begged God to show up... HOLD ON!

Maybe you are waiting on a healing in your body or that on a loved one... and they are getting sicker and sicker... HOLD ON!

The list could go on and on and on!

You see NO MATTER what you are facing.... PLEASE don't give up.... don't throw in the towel... You never know when YOUR MIRACLE might be 5 minutes from happening!

One year ago tonight.... I almost gave up. I was on the brink of the most miraculous thing I've ever seen or experienced in my life. IF we had given up.... we would have missed that!

Now, don’t think that we weren’t trusting God because we were… but, sometimes the stresses get overwhelming and everyone considers (or at least I think we all do) just giving up. That appears to be the easier way out… but, let me encourage you tonight that you don’t want to!

PLEASE don’t give up…. Keep trusting God because you could be ‘on the brink’ or YOUR miracle!!!!!

Be encouraged in the Lord tonight and know that …”His love for you is NEVER ending!”

DON’T GIVE UP… Your miracle is on the way!!!! :)
… and cling to his promises! He says it perfectly in John 11:40, “ Did I not tell you that if you believed – You would see the Glory of God?”

Believe and you will see his Glory! What an amazing God!

SPD - A post to my fellow AP's!

2011-10-26T21:31:00.001-05:00

Well… I am back! :) I know that all my faithful blog readers have missed me as much as I’ve missed you… and honestly I have missed writing here. I have plans to kick this blog back up a notch, but never seem to find the energy to actually sit down and come here and write… but, tonight is your lucky night!

I was just putting dishes in the dishwasher and about to tackle the load of clothes that just came out of the dryer (that are now resting on the kitchen table)…. BUT, while I was doing those tasks my mind was thinking… and I decided that some of you might need to hear this tonight… SO, here I sit!

This post is dedicated to my fellow adoptive families and anyone who is interested… but, mainly to those who are and have and will be struggling with the same things we face daily in our little home!

It’s called Sensory Integration Disorder! Faith and Grace have not been officially diagnosed with SPD, but I could push for it and get that diagnosis. Grace really struggles the most with sensory stuff, but both have the classic institutional sensory struggles.

I am tempted to go into the struggles of how hard it is to really know if it’s truly sensory integration issues… or if it’s a result of environment (institutionalized life) prior to coming home, but you have to treat it as it is… and our girls struggle with sensory issues, regardless of the cause!

Ok…. So, we are in the process of some paperwork at the school (yes, the SCARY IEP)! My friend (the SLP at the elementary – I’m at the Intermediate grades) has done some speech/language testing . The PT has evaluated them… and my friend who is an OT is going to evaluate them tomorrow. I was talking with my friend who is the OT tonight on the phone… and she prompted this blog post.

She was a FAITHFUL supporter of our adoption and followed our journey and supported us in ways that make my heart smile. She’s an incredible resource to know and have in my corner.

Again, Thank you Jesus!

SO… tonight I was telling her of some of the things we see and struggle with. I was telling her how well Faith and Grace are doing in school… and how poorly they sometimes then do at the daycare and at home. She shared with me that in her experience she has seen this be true a lot of times. She said that kiddos who have sensory issues NEVER really get rid of those (which we all know). These kiddos just learn to adapt and adjust and self regulate to keep things at an even balance.

She then explained how that she feels with lots of kids they are attempting to keep things in ‘check’ so to speak all day in that structured environment (school). However, when they get home they tend to them be VERY impulsive and often parents will see a far more severe sensory deprived or overloaded child than the teachers or caregivers ever see.

I have NO idea if this is what is going on with Faith and Grace… but, I can tell you that it made me feel better! :)

This made me think about the similarities with some of the children I have on my caseload who stutter. I have had parents repeatedly tell me time and time again at IEP meetings that their child is severely dysfuent at home… and we’ll be telling them about how awesome they are doing with their speech in therapy as well as the classroom. I quickly explain to parents that I think often times kids who have to change the way they speak all day (attempt to be as fluent as possible) often relax when they finally get home. They KNOW that their parents are going to love them regardless of their stuttering or weaknesses and therefore stop attempting to monitor their speech.

I then encourage my parents to take that as a compliment that their kids feel well loved and secure!

I think this could be similar to our SPD kiddos. They are attempting all day to maintain their little bodies to an acceptable and appropriate level, and when they get home they just relax!

SO… if you are seeing your little one have GREAT days at school and a different child comes home… breathe a sigh of relief tonight and maybe… just maybe your baby feels secure and relaxed and therefore needs a break from the stresses of holding it all together!

YOU are doing a wonderful job… keep on parenting with love and kindness and remember that YOU were hand picked to be that child’s Mommy and Daddy!

I can’t even imagine walking this road of life without my Jesus… wow!

I hope and pray this was a bit of encouragement to someone… or someone else enjoyed this bit of information!

Oh… and one more thing… at this point 1 year ago – we were in our apartment in Kazakhstan waiting to meet available children… wondering if God had yet again forgotten about us… BUT, choosing to trust him, because he said to go!

TRUST HIM… He means what he says!

I have so many blog posts rolling in my head.. once I ever sit down to write you will have lots of stuff from me!

A dear friend today sent me an email and said to ‘sleep whenever you can… if you have to pick between sleep and something else – choose sleep’… I think that was really good advice for me! I am pretty exhausted… However, blessed beyond my wildest dreams!

Have a wonderful night!

1 Thes 5:24

A precious moment in time... Faith puts things in perspective once again! :)

2011-08-11T22:40:00.000-05:00

Where do I even start?   I have had SO SO SO SO many posts and chapters and things rolling in my brain for the past few days/weeks/months.... that I couldn't help but come here tonight and write about this one...

One of the things that I've been going to post about (once I get caught up... ha ha ha) was how blessed we are to have Faith and Grace... sort of my 'rescue' post...

Some of my long-term readers will remember a post years ago.. when I made the statement that we still had babies to 'rescue and save'... and I had some people RIP me a new one online with messages and comments about how "wrong" that wording was.... and how I needed to educate myself about adoption that using those terms would be detrimental to my future children, etc....

It was a VERY hard time for me... and the negative reaction of those readers REALLY bothered me a lot... I attempted to rebuttal my comments and explain what I 'really' meant... but, I don't know that I was ever really understood.... and honestly it doesn't matter.

I knew back when I wrote that post that we were also being 'rescued' by our adopted children... :)    I had already began to see the transformation that God was doing in our lives/family as a result of the adoption.    We were growing closer to him... We were trusting him for a miracle that with our natural eyes LOOKED impossible.    We were seeking him together and in ways that we'd never sought or been at before.   WE experienced God bigger than we've ever seen through all this.   I know that there are some of you that have also been touched by this incredible miraculous story that is our family.
I can't even tell you how humbled it makes me to think that others have been touched, saved and even possibly rescued as well...

You see it is SO SO SO true when I say that Faith and Grace rescued US.     There have been so so so many times and examples that I could give you... but, tonight (obviously) is the most prevalent example in my mind.

We started back to school today... F and G started pre-k, Bay started 5th grade and Brook started 1st!   Faith and Grace also started daycare in the afternoons for the first time... You see today was a day that we've talked about for months... I vividly remember our bedroom in our apartment in Kazakhstan... I was sitting in the floor, Phil across the bed and we were just talking about the August that the girls would start school. Would we start them in Pre-K, hold them out, could I stay home, how much would they have picked up in 4 months, how much progress would they have made... would they be ready?      We talked about this day in DETAIL numerous times... and anticipated it all summer.    Honestly, I've dreaded it... I've wished time to slow down and been sad as I've seen it getting closer and closer on the calendar.. :(

It's truly amazing to me that on this day... August 11, 2011... the day we've dreaded.... our little Faith put things in perspective once again.

You see there have been some things happening at my work that are overwhelming... and there are some things that have been happening that I can't write or share about... but, they are disheartening and overwhelming to Phil and I.

Tonight as I am saying our normal night time prayers with Faith and Grace... our little Faith was praying first. She was rattling on about all the things she is thankful for.. with one eye open part of the time to see what else she can see in her room to name. ;)    I have my eyes closed (she thinks), but LOVE to watch them look for new things to thank Jesus for... and them saying their little prayers is one of my favorite times to watch them! :)   SO precious.... so she's praying along and it was going something like this... "Thank you Jesus my toys, our house, thank you Jesus Mama and Papa and Bay Bay and Brookie and Nana... Thank you Jesus my bed and sheets and um... covers and clothes and shoes and babies and..." HUGE pause as she touches her little tummy and her expression changes completely... "thank you Jesus me's full tummy.... (another pause)... "no more hungry"...    She then looks at me to see if I'm looking at her and the expression on her face was absolutely precious.

Thank You Jesus once again for using these babies to speak to us...    Am I the only one who needed that wake up call?      You see these 2 girls time and time again... have rescued us... from lives of living selfishly and not truly seeing Christ as we are supposed to...

So... If you are reading this... I think it's for a reason.   I think you were supposed to read this and be reminded as I was tonight by my little Faith... of what is TRULY important!

Live life differently... CHOOSE to be the one who says.. you know what... I am going to make a difference... I am going to be kind to my co-worker... I'm going give some food to a family who I know is struggling... I'm going to pay for that families electric bill this month.   I'm going to give a co-worker a card just because I want to brighten there day...

One of my favorite quotes of all times comes to mind.. and it is:
"Sometimes I'd like to ask God why He allows poverty, famine, and injustice in the world when He could do something about it...but I'm afraid God might ask me the same question.

WE have to be HIM shining to this world... we as Christians are to SHINE for him...
My prayer for all of you tonight is that you would make up your mind that you will SHINE for him... Do something this weekend, tomorrow.... BLESS someone... maybe it's just an extra smile a hug...   JUST make up YOUR mind that YOU are going to focus on the 'real' reasons we are alive and in this world.... those reasons are to live for Jesus and show the world that he loves them!

Anyone else moved and inspired by my babies tonight?    Probably not.. lol! I bet this was ALL for me... but, at least now I have it all written down to tell them about one day when they are 25 and have families of their own! :)

Be blessed and will you join me in trying to focus on what is REALLY important in life?     Let's not let the stuff that really doesn't matter zap all our energy... :)
Have a wonderful Friday!

Catch up post - Part 1

2011-08-03T02:22:00.000-05:00

Hello! I am so sorry that I have not made it here to post and write in months. There are several reasons why... but, mainly I wasn't sure how much of our 'real' life I wanted to share. I have been torn between what I should tell and shouldn't... and quite honestly it's been a hard decision to make. I will talk more about this soon... :)

I have wanted to update the blog... make it girly (hee hee.. the choice of backgrounds was because I wanted something that would be ok for the girls and our new son(s)!) Isn't that funny?!?!? :)
I wanted to update it and put new pictures up, etc... before I updated about the twins.. however, I have decided that I just need to post and then update the actual backgrounds when or if I can find the time.

I just want to start out by telling you that I have been to the blog only 3 times in the past few months... and when I opened it up tonight to attempt this post... I was OVERWHELMED with emotions! Wow... I read back through several posts and had to make myself stop... or I'd be here reading them all night! I am in COMPLETE awe of MY GOD! Isn't he amazingly wonderful?!? There are 2 babies who are sleeping in our house tonight... in their clean (wonderful smelling) beds... who God had an amazing plan for! Wow... We are honored that we were chosen as their family. Honestly, sometimes I am so humbled by that very thought that I just feel so inadequate that God picked us.... wow!

SO... back to my pondering about what and how much to post.   I have given this much though and prayer and realize some things.
It is when we are transparent before each other and God that others are able to be helped, ministered to and blessed by our lives the most.    THAT is the complete purpose of why I am alive... TO glorify God and live for him.     If my life, our life, my little families obedience and struggles and victories can minister to someone else... then I need to share those EXACT moments with people.    I guess my real hesitation with sharing is that we've had LOTS of medical issues with the twins since coming home... and lots of things/behaviors/problems that are completely a result of being in an institution or maybe they aren't... some things we still don't know that answer.
I just know that one day I want Faith and Grace to be able (if they would like) to read all this blog... and not think.. "Gosh, Mama... why did you tell the world that about us.. that's embarrassing!"
    However, after much prayer and consideration... I feel I need to be open and honest.. and hopefully something I share or write will resonate with someone who is reading it and bless them.... in turn our family/life = glorify HIM in all things!   I think if we as Christians as a whole would be more transparent with each other, it would be amazing the encouragement that we'd find and have... and in turn our relationships with Christ would grow and flourish!
That however, is Lanetta's two cents! ha!

I have no idea who many parts this catch up post will be... but, I'm going to just start telling the story of our last 4 months. Today is August 2, 2011. Faith and Grace came home FOREVER on March 15th... so it's been 4 1/2 months!
LOTS has happened and there is LOTS to tell!

Where do I even start?
The last 4 months have been VERY busy... we tried SO hard to simplify and not be on the go.... but, there were so many Dr's apts and things to do it was amazing.
There were so many firsts that there is NO way I can list them all...

I am going to start out with some pictures... (It's amazing how much these don't even look like them)... Wow! They've changed SO much!
The first night home we quickly realized that the bunk beds were NOT going to work... :( Grace jumped from the top bunk (I caught her).. but, we quickly realized that they did not even have the muscle tone to climb the ladder and NO idea how to get up or down. The bunk beds were QUICKLY deemed NOT safe for their room. SO... their first full day home consisted of a complete room OVERHAUL... lol! Nothing like throwing them into one of my projects right off the bat... LOL! Anyone who knows me KNOWS that this is SO me! :) Get used to it girls... this is your Mama! ;)

Here the twins are helping Papa and Uncle Keith assemble their NEW toddler beds! They loved helping and thought they were doing something BIG! :)

Here's the NEW room... :) It works out SO much better... gives them LOTS more floor space. They will be able to sleep in these beds for a LONG time! They have plenty of room!

Goodness... Bay and Brook sure were happy on the morning of March 16th! :) Phil, Bay and Brook quickly broke out the Christmas presents for F and G that we saved for them! It was DEFINITELY a Christmas in March morning at our house!

I didn't wait long until we had their haircut. My good friend Kim has a salon in her home... so we were able to visit them and get a cute trim fairly easily. They did pretty good... :)

Grace

Faith

Finished... aren't they precious?!

If you look back through pictures of them... you will see that their teeth were in BAD shape. Their bottom front teeth were DARK brown and appeared to be decaying. I visited with our dentist at great length about their teeth when we were home in February and we already had appointments scheduled for the first week home. Call me superficial... but, I really REALLY hated to hear that most likely there was little they could do for them. Our dentist said that most likely they were decayed and we'd have to make decisions about what to do... but, it didn't sound very promising! We went to our first apt. to have them just look at their teeth, etc.. and the dentist was fairly certain that all the discoloration was EXCESSIVE plaque and with some special tool and high pressure she 'thought' she could remove most of it. We went back in 3 days and it was UNBELIEVABLE! The plaque came off in HUGE hunks and their teeth were completely cavity free! I am still in shock about this... :) The girls did fairly well and tolerated the procedures! They now have beautiful white and gorgeous teeth! :)

I have to tell you that my mom and my brother have both been such a blessing to us these first few months home. One of them went with me to appointments in the beginning. Phil wasn't able to take off more time from work... so it was a wonderful blessing for either my brother or mom to be able to go with me. We love you Nana and Uncle Keith! :)

We also had every test you can imagine completed at the pediatricians office. All blood work came back normal... however, Faith had a very aggressive and YUCKY parasite. We took meds for that for one week... and then got an all clear. Grace and none of the rest of us had the parasite, but all had the FUN testing! :)

I expressed concern with Grace's vision.. and our pediatrician referred us to a pediatric ophthalmologist. He diagnosed Grace with Septo-Optic Dysplasia - Mild/Mod Optic Nerve Hypoplasia. This means that her optic nerves are VERY small. He asked why he wasn't seeing Faith for an appointment and requested that we work her in that day as well. He diagnosed Faith with the same. Grace also has stigmatisms and is very badly near sighted, thus needs glasses. The Optic nerve diagnosis are not correctable and basically means they have slowed/delayed processing of their vision. This made PERFECT sense to me... I told Phil from Nov. that we had some sensory integration issues with Grace... and some with Faith. This was NOT surprising.

He then went on to say that it's a miracle that Grace especially wasn't born blind. He said that with this severe of a dysplasia (small optic nerve) there is a HUGE percentage of chance (HIGH 90's) that the optic nerve was NOT the only portion of their brains affected. He was VERY kind when explaining all this to me.. and honestly, he painted a GRIM picture. I don't think he realized the degree that I understood what he was saying... but, he basically said they could both very easily be VERY handicapped mentally. I knew EXACTLY what he was saying... I don't really know how to explain how I felt in that office that day. Honestly the girls were AWFUL. My mom was with me and we were both basket cases trying to keep them calmed down and controlled. They were VERY overstimulated and LOUD and well... it was chaos.. that's the BEST way to describe it. My mom wasn't in the room with me when I received all the news... she was in the waiting room. We had thought maybe separating them, etc would make them calmer. HA!

As we walked out of that office... one with a kid in tow - I couldn't help but laugh! Remember my post from March 9th - airplane ride from Pavlodar to Almaty?! When I'm overstimulated I laugh and cry both... well, that's what I started doing...

I then start telling my mom about the diagnoses... and how that even in the midst of hearing him caution me of the road we 'might' have ahead of us... I KNEW that it was all ok!

It's giving me chills now as I type this out... God prepared me. I already knew in the deepest recesses of my heart that we would receive a BAD report from medical doctors regarding the twins. I don't know how I knew it... did God speak to me audibly? No... did I dream it.. NO! It's in those still small voices that he often speaks the most to me.. it was there and I just knew. THIS very thing... these medical issues... ALL OF IT... are for HIS glory! I knew and know that at some point one day.. Faith and Grace will share their story.. their journey... their life.. and they will have an even GREATER story to tell and share! Not only did God rescue (yes... I used that word!) them from a life without knowing HIM... but, he also healed their bodies and minds and they will be WALKING proof in more than 200 ways that God is alive and well today!

Whew.... give me chills!!!!!

I have a whole entire other post about 'resuce'... I will write it one day... I promise! :)

...and more about all the medial stuff later too!

At about 2 weeks home.. we took pictures to make an INVITE for our celebration/ welcome home party! This is the picture we used:

I will share more in a few minutes about Bay and Brook... but, just know that at this point.. when the twins had been home 2 weeks... Bay and Brook were BEGGING to not go to school! They wanted to stay home with us and carry them and play and baby them every single second. They were absolutely SO SO SO proud of them and both attempted to Mother them! :)

ok... back on track... so Grace got some ADORABLE glasses:

Aren't Grace's glasses cute? :) Here they are still in their pj's... under a HUGE tent we built in our living room! :) They were SO excited and LOVED it!

Another pic in tent! They had been home about 3 weeks here... notice their WHITE sparkling teeth! :)

We stayed home and away from anyone except immediate family that first 4 weeks...   on the 5th week.. we had a shower at my work... and a huge town-wide welcome home party at the community building.
Both were incredible events... we were showered with love and gave God all the glory for Faith and Grace coming home.
I had to share one of the gifts in this post for my fellow adoptive parents... aren't these the CUTEST shirts?! A gift from another adoptive mom that I work with!   These were my fav. gift! :)     The text under the 2 hearts says, "... because that's where I was!"   AWE.... isn't that precious!? :)

I know I should post pics from the showers and parties.. but, I won't today!

That pretty much brings us up to date through them being home for 5 weeks.

Their English was coming along @ 5 weeks home... I was at this point surprised that it wasn't progressing faster than it seemed to be... They pretty much spoke Russian to each other until about the one month home mark... I think that's really interesting too...

This is a summary of the first 5 weeks home:

Family: EVERYONE is THRILLED... :) Bay and Brook are incredible... they LOVE them and seem to love every second with them. The girls LOVE my mom - Nana and are also bonding well with my nephew - Cody, brother and sister-in-law.
Medical: Optic Nerve Dysplasia - we have upcoming dr's apt's with Endocrinologist and Neurologist
Communication: A combination of English/Russian and gestures! :) There were honestly only 3 times that they tried to communicate that I never knew what they were saying... it really wasn't hard to communicate with them. We figured out a way! :)
Sleep - a HUGE problem... they don't sleep through the night... wake up a lot.. and there are LOTS of issues. :( We rocked them from the time we got home until around 4-5 weeks home... then we attempted to transition to patting their backs in their beds. There were so many times that it was overwhelming that there are 2 of them. I have to admit that it was TOUGH! There were nights that I sat in their room attempting to shuffle between them rock and pat... and I just cried. Phil traveled and was gone a lot the first few weeks home... since he had missed so much work. My mom helped me SO much... I have NO idea how I would have survived those first few weeks without her.
Toileting: Attempted panties - however, went back to pull-ups full-time due to excessive numbers of accidents. Faith is doing better than Grace. At one month home both were completely in pull-ups.
Bonding and Attachment: At 4 weeks home we were making progress, but still had a long ways to go... however, they were doing good. I felt that it would have been going better, but with 2.. it was so hard to rock, cuddle, give eye to eye contact, etc.... without leaving one out... :)

(on a side note... just writing all this out is making me really realize the amount of progress they have really made! wow... it really is incredible where they are today (at 4 months home verses 1 month, etc..)..

During that first 5 weeks home there were so many firsts it's UNREAL..

here are a few of the ones I really remember and some of my favorite memories:

They were in awe of our outside cat... only at about 3 months home has the excitement worn off. They would scream and jump and yell EVERY SINGLE morning! :)
The first time they put their feet in the grass barefoot.... :( They didn't know what to do.
They couldn't climb up the ladder for the slide... they had NO idea about how to put one foot up then your hand and pull, etc...
They LOVE to swing!
They LOVE their big sisters... their FAVORITE time of the day is watching for the bus to come down the road! :)
They LOVE to run out in the yard and meet Bay and Brook when they get off the bus!
At about 3 weeks home: I will never forget when Uncle Keith kept them in the van while Brook had some dental work done... (had to have a tooth pulled)... I get a text from him saying... EMERGENCY... come outside! :) They wouldn't stop spitting at him and in the van! HEE HEE HEE! ;)
The first time Grace called me "Mom" instead of "Mama"... and she shortened "Papa" to "Pop"
Grace's face when she realized how much she could see with her new glasses...
I will never forget the FIT Faith threw cause she wanted glasses!!!
Their begging for ear rings... they looked at everyone's and asked about them... :)
The first time I held them in church and sang - "Amazing Grace - My chains are Gone" and "How Great is our God!"
When I realized that Grace (at 2 weeks home) could sing Jesus Loves me! I had been singing it to them as we cuddled and rocked. She knew EVERY word!
The first time I took them anywhere ALONE... :) It was to the dentist... had to stop 4 times during 30 minute drive home! whew.... :)

Goodness.. the emotions of this are overwhelming.... :)

I think I will call it quits for this post! My goal is to post an update a night until I get caught up! :)

Please just know that YOUR continued prayers and the wonderful GRACE and MERCY of our Jesus have continued to carry us these past few months.

It is still incredible to us when we really think of the miraclous things God has done... these girls are miracles! It doesn't take long to think about it... and remember that God has a plan and be so thankful for his awesome provisions and blessings!

More soon... check back tomorrow! :)

Have a wonderfully blessed night!

A Journey of Faith and Grace

2011-04-28T11:34:00.000-05:00

HOME FOREVER!

2011-04-07T02:39:00.000-05:00

This is the post I've been waiting over 3 years to write... and it's taken me 3 weeks to write it.. LOL!
We've been home for 3 weeks and I'm just now getting this posted.

I am going to back up and post the travel pics.. :)

Here we are in the middle of the night in the Almaty airport.. waiting to board the plane! They girls did really good. I pushed them around in the stroller LOTS and we walked a LOT, but we made it fine!

Faith and I... We are about to take off for Frankfurt! We are HEADING home forever! Yeah!

Phil and Grace!

The girls did GREAT on the flight. They slept for about 3-4 hours of the flight and we survived. Honestly it wasn't NEARLY as bad as we expected.

Killing some time in Frankfurt Airport! We had a 4 hour layover, but it was only about 2 hours of wait time. We walked and rode in the stroller and ate snacks! They got REALLY fussy towards the end, but we again survived! Just a tip to fellow travelers... if you see someone with a child in an airport throwing a HUGE tantrum... DON'T be quick to judge. You never know that child MIGHT be NEWLY adopted and totally overwhelmed with what all is going on! ;)

Welcome to America Faith and Grace.. The newest American Citizens! Our plane had just touched down in Chicago!!! The man across the aisle was nice and offered to take our picture! We look a little rough, huh?! ;)
They slept for 5 hours of this flight... AMAZING, huh?! Thank you Jesus! Again, we survived!

The flight from Chicago to OKC was amazingly emotional for me.    :)   Phil and Faith slept.   Grace and I did not! I was extremely overwhelmed with emotions and anticipation.   Grace... well, she didn't want to sit still long enough to sleep.   :)
When I think about the flight now.... 3 weeks later, I still get emotional.   The thought of what was about to happen was unexplainable to me.
For over 3 years... I TRUSTED God. I KNEW I had heard from him.   I questioned it a zillion times and cried out to him in my despair, but I KNEW that he had spoken to me.     The closer we got to Oklahoma the more nervous and excited and emotional I got.   As we landed Phil is asking me if I'm ok... and just keeps grinning. I told him to NOT look at me or I would break down and into a million pieces.   I felt like I was only holding it together with a thin thread.   The feelings even now make my stomach churn as I rethink about those moments.    I wish I could explain them better.    I don't feel that I am conveying how it really felt.
Just know that it was INCREDIBLE for me.   My hands were sweating and my insides rolling.   My girls were all about to meet for the FIRST time EVER!  This was the result of TRUSTING God when it looks bleak... when everything appeared to be falling apart... when inside I was BAWLING and  no one even knew.
That has to be one of the best moments of my life... honestly I can only think of 3 other times that EVEN come close to comparing! June 29, 1996 :)   Feb. 13, 2001  and May 9, 2005!

As we got off the plane we then races to the nearest bathroom to change the girls clothes and get them ready! ;)   I hurried as fast as I could... but, there are 2 of them and they were SO tired.
We were FINALLY ready to head that way....     we finally made it to the turn... and I see Bay and Brook...    I will let the video tell the rest of the story:
Click here to watch video of airport celebration! (Click on videos on the left hand side of the screen.. then you'll see it's the first Video!)

More coming soon.... PLEASE check back!

March 14th - Update! WE ARE COMING HOME!!!!

2011-03-14T11:26:00.000-05:00

Last night the girls didn't sleep as well. They woke up at 2:30 and were up until almost 5 am.     We then attempted an earlier nap due to such little sleep last night and the girls had a very hard time ever going to sleep.      They were then sleeping SO well and we had to wake them to get to the Consulate Appointment.   (isn't that about right?)    They were happy to wake up and are such sweet babies! BIG smiles.. and give us lots of love.. like.. wow, you're still here! :)
(While I was attempting to get them to sleep.. Grace puts both hands on my cheeks and kisses me on the mouth and says very sweetly... "I love you!"   awe.. precious!)

We headed to consulate appointment.   I just had this dread that something would not be correct.... I know everyone has said the appointment is a breeze, but other things have been a breeze for others and NOT for us.. ;)    I was bracing myself for a delay.. yet, HOPING so much that things were all ok!
The lady at window #3 was so kind.   She processed all our info... took the last of our money. ;) and said that we are good to go.. at this point I just looked at her!   SERIOUSLY?!? We have the girls.. we are wrestling with them while signing the papers... we are really out of here.. for real?! I started crying!   Phil just smiles at me... the girls are tired of waiting!   wow!!!    Amazing! I have to say for Phil and I that this appointment today was much more emotional and exciting than court even.. Wow... we are REALLY coming home!!!
Here is a picture of the building that consulte is in....

... and here we are in front of the building! The consulate is on the 16th floor!

Penny and her driver then picked us up and we headed up into the mountains to look around! The mountains here are absolulty beautiful! We had a wonderful time exploring and seeing the mountains! It was a great outing and a wonderful way to end our journey here! :)

We are forever thankful for Penny and Richard! (Richard had to go to Astana on business today... so we didn't get a picture with him!)

Here are some of our pictures:

The outdoor ice skating rink.. it's absolutly beautiful!

I have no idea why Grace would think to grab a snowball and throw it at Papa! ;) hee hee! However, the snowball veered off and hit the red brick wall. Papa didn't even know we were trying to hit him! :)

The snow was melting and running off everything. I showed the girls that they could touch the water dripping. They were so excited! They were in shock that it was ok to touch it!

FUN TIMES!!! ... and yes, they got a little wet.. but, you know what? They dried! :)

Aren't they precious? I don't know how it's even possible, but I love them more and more every single day! :) My heart is bursting! :)

Here the girls and I are with Penny! She is truly a wonderful woman! We will forever be in contact with them! :) Thank you Jesus for leading us to them! :) Faith and Grace just LOVE her and are going to wonder where in the world she is! She's been such a vital part of our lives these last 5 days! We miss her already!

An attempt at a family picture in the mountains! :) The girls REALLY wanted to run around... NOT take pictures!

I love this one! :)

... and how perfect that I end this post with that picture!   We are headed out of here soon!

We leave here for the airport @ 2am!   (in 4 short hours!)...

For anyone who lives local and has asked... we will arrive in OKC airport on Tuesday, March 15th @ 7:34 PM.    If you want to be there... you are welcome!
I received info. from a friend that a local news channel will be there filming.... and that they are covering our story on the news that night.... WOWZIERS!!!!
Please... pray for Faith and Grace and that they are not completly overwhelmed.    We don't want to miss an opportunity to speak positivily about adoption and the Lord... but, also want to ensure that F and G are ok!

I know all of you are...but, please pray for our travels! :)      I have us pretty much packed up... Phil and the girls are asleep.

I am seriously in shock that we are heading home WITH THEM soon! wow!!!!!!
God is so so so very FAITHFUL!

ok... one more thing.. this will most likely be the last post I make before we are home forever!!!    SO STINKING EXCITING!!!

So.. I want to share about this.
I know that so many people have followed our journey of Faith and Grace to Faith and Grace! :) We are so so so thankful for everything that anyone has done... from donations to help to prayers! We are forever changed and moved by this entire process....

Please know that we want all of you to meet F and G... we really do!    However, after the grand airport celebration we plan to keep things VERY low key for about 4 weeks.    We are asking that we have very little to no company... please know that this is only for the best interest of our family and the twins.   We need some time to adjust and bond and Phil and I both feel this is VERY necessary.   We have several Dr's appointments already scheduled and things going on... so we will be out and about some.. but, we really feel we need to keep things as simple as we possibly can for at least a few weeks.    Please understand and know that there will be a time when you can love on them too!

Speaking of that... I've been told that there is a HUGE celebration planned in April 10th from 1-3 @ the Perkins community Building in the new Territorial Plaza!   Just an FYI.. Faith and Grace will be there! :)   Please come and meet them that day... we'd love to have YOU help us celebrate them being home forever!!!     I will share more details about this as I know them! :)

We will be home in a few hours... I hope I don't pass out at the airport!   I can not even imaigne the awesome presence of God that is going to fill that airport! OKC watch out...   ;)

ok. I could go on and on.. but, I will stop here and try to get a couple hours rest! I bet I will need it, huh?! ;)
I will post from Germany and Chicago if I can... but, you just never know if that will be possible!
Pray for good seats, peaceful sleep and wonderful flights!

I will post as soon as I can when we get home!
Love and prayers... and THANK YOU for loving our little family!
Paka from Kazakhstan for the last time... (this trip!) ;)

March 10-12, 2011 - Update from Almaty!

2011-03-13T11:27:00.000-05:00

It's Sunday afternoon and my precious babies are sleeping so I'm going to try to catch everyone up to date on the last few days.   Honestly, sitting here thinking about all of it the days all run together! :) Let me attempt to tell you about our fun adventures!

The girls slept from about 2:30 am until about 8 am on Thursday morning (3-10). The staff in Pavlodar told us our appointment for the SOS clinic was @ 10:30 am and that we'd be picked up around 10 am.    We got up and around and headed downstairs to eat some breakfast.   Penny (our friends we are staying with) greeted us with HUGS and she had porridge already made for the girls. :)
I don't feel like I can write more without sharing more about them and how we met.

Get ready.. this is another one of those AMAZING God stories! :) I indicated a few posts ago about meeting Penny when we were delayed due to snow @ Christmas time.   We were in the Almaty airport attempting to leave yet again after a 14 hour cancellation/delay of our flight going to Frankfurt.   Phil brought a bright orange OSU hat that he wore while traveling, but quickly put away upon our first arrival in Pavlodar and realizing this made us stand out even more.   LOL!   He had not touched this hat for MONTHS.. but, pulled it out of the suitcase in the Almaty airport minutes before.   We are about to check in through the international flights area... and we hear a very sweet excited voice say.. "Are you from America?   Is that an OSU cap?" to which we both BLINK (keep in mind we've been in Kazakhstan for 2 months at this point!    Phil and I gulp and think... surely we are imagaing that someone is speaking to us in English... much less realizes and recognizes that this is an OSU hat... seriously OSU - Stillwater, OK! NO WAY!   We stammer and stutter and get out a Yes... it is...    do you speak English?   DUH!? hee hee!!    We start talking and quickly discover that Penny is from Altus, OK..    We had been talking about 5 minutes when they announce that we can check in for our flight.    Penny was on the same flight for Frankfurt... she was coming home to the US for Christmas.    Richard was catching a flight later in the week.. so we met and said Bye to him in a matter of minutes.       As you can imagine we talked with Penny for hours while waiting on our flights... and then in Frankfurt (during that MASSIVE snow storm) we were all delayed again together.   Richard works here in Almaty and they live here.    We showed Penny pictures of the twins and told her all about the adoption and we immediatly became wondeful friends.   It wasn't long until we knew they were Christians too and she was saying that when we come back through Almaty we will just stay with them!   We were blown away!   :)

Penny and Richard.. you will never know how much you've shown us Jesus!   We are truly blown away by your kindness and giving hearts to virtually strangers.
The best way to describe our stay here with them is like this:    When I had my biological daughters, my mom came and stayed with me for the first week... she took care of all of us!     She cleaned, cooked and did our laundry. She made sure that I could rest and spend all the time and energy I wanted with my new babies.   Penny is that person now!   She has cooked meals for us.. shopped at the store, found things the girls will like. She has made sure Phil and I are ok.    She has literally waited on us hand and foot!   I am about to bawl writing this.. but, it's so true!   God has truly and completly taken care of us and my little family once again.   WOW!    God, I just continue to be so touched by YOU and how you keep showing us your love, compassion and grace!   INCREDIBLE!

Ok.. back to the morning of the 10th... Penny quickly starts asking about going to the SOS clinic and we tell her it's just who the staff uses.   She has some friends (christians) who run a clinic here in Almaty called the IMC (International Medical Center).   She asks is we'd be willing to take the girls to them if they can do the embassey exit visa exams.   We say sure and she starts checking.    We quickly find out that only them (IMC) and the SOS clinic can preform these exams.   Penny contacts our staff, cancels our appointment as SOS and we now have an appointment with their friends @ 2:30 pm.

We have some lunch... the girls take a nap and we head off to the IMC with Penny and their driver.   Their driver is such a KIND and sweet man.   He speaks English and Russian and the twins instantly love him. He's so so so kind and great with them. Another amazing blessing!

We arrive at the IMC and meet the incredible staff... wow... we are SO blown away!     They radiate JESUS!!!!    They want to hear all about our story.. which we share!!    There are tears and praises as we share how God has provided and miracously shown up!    They exam the girls and are SO sweet with them. They speak Russian and English.. so the girls love that and it's just a special time for all of us.    Again.. .so incredible!    They asked if they could pray with us and over us before we left... YES you read that correctly! WOW!
I of course asked for a picture:

Dr. Alexander (Sasha) Shinkarenko (who completed medical residency in Tulsa, OK - YES! Incredible) and Dr. Vitaliy Krylov.

This is their office manger, Julia playing with the girls. Julia was so kind and precious. We felt Christ radiate from them!

We found out at the exam with Dr Vitaliy that both girls need 2 immunizations.   :(   We then head across town with Penny and their driver for the shots.   That was NOT fun.. but, with Penny's help and a small box of Cherrio's.... we survived! :)   Poor babies!
Oh.. and one more thing.. our appointment at the IMC clinic was paid for!   WOW!    We are so humbled by all this.. I can't even tell you how we just continue to be blown away.    I know that we know that God said he would provide and take care if and when we trust and believe... God, WE ARE SO THANKFUL... and LOVE YOU.. we give YOU all the Glory!

We also found out that we needed passports size pictures of the girls as well, and had planned to take those after the shots, but decided it would be best to just come back to Penny and Richard's and take the pictures the next morning first thing!

A real update on the girls.   Overall, they are doing GREAT.... honestly, they are.    I will be honest here ( as you all know that I am) about some things, but some things I will not share.   I am sorry.. but, I want my girls to read this one day and not say.. Mama, why did you tell the world that? :)
Just know that there are LOTS of sad behaviors and things they do that are a direct result of institualized life.. it's sad and heartbreaking and flat out WRONG!
These babies have lived in that orphange from the time they were TINY babies @ age 3 months. They do not know any life outside of there.
They will be 4 years old in May and they weigh (@ the IMC clinic) 26 and 27 lbs.   They are tiny.

They eat every single bite of anything put in front of them... they eat fast and cram their mouths FULL of food. They have ate what they could get to survive.     They are already learning so quickly.   We've shown them how to chew slower, take smaller bites and go slower.... they are learning that they can have food and water already.   :)   We have lots of healthy things (fruits and veggies) that we are giving them every few hours. It's SO hard to know when to make them stop... but, I feel that we are doing fairly good with it all.   We are being VERY aware of what they are eating... NO sugar and trying so hard to help them to transition easier.   PLEASE keep praying that Phil and I will continue to have wisdom and make decisions that are best for them.

The babyhouse claimed they were potty trained, but we came armed with pull-ups and immediatly put pull-ups on them.. knowing they would regress in this area most likely... if they were really trained at all.   Going to the bathroom and showing Papa and Mama that the pull-up is dry is their FAVORITE game right now! :)    We are doing good and working hard!!     Yes, there are some accidents, but we are getting there! :)    Plus, they are drinking LOTS of water! :)

I am so excited about the progress we are already making with bonding! I have read all the books and trying to just follow my heart and gut with what to do.   They are truly loving being with us.   (most of the time!) ha ha!!!    and vise versa.. ;)     They become more attached every day and it's just so incredible to see the changes in them coming back.

I have so many things I could share.. but, think I better not... just know that we are seeing first hand that an orphange (regardless of how nice or awesome it appears) is NOT a life for ANY child.    We are seeing it first hand...   it's so so so sad.   I can't even tell you the magnitude of the sadness that we feel seeing some of these things.    It just makes me KNOW that we all have to do more.   There are SO SO SO many babies who are still living that life... the are not Grace and Faith, but Violetta and Stella who are laying in a bed ALONE rocking themselves to sleep night after night..
What can we do?   What can you do?   PLEASE pray for those babies all over the world tonight who have NO ONE!   They need US!

(sorry about that... I just have an even deeper passion now!)

ok.. so back to our days here. We came back home.. Penny made a WONDERFUL dinner and we all had a GREAT evening!

The girls had some troubles going to sleep.. but, finally got there!   Mama is not sleeping well. I feel like I did when I had newborn babies.   You know how you never allow yourself to go into a deep sleep.. for fear they will need you and you will not know it? lol!?   Well... that's me.. but, this time it's times 2 and they really need me to be there instantly if they wake up scared.   Guess what.. by night 3 when they wake up they say, "mama, Papa? "    :)   YEAH!!! They are already calling out to us.. or making sure we are STILL here!!

Friday, March 12

We are up about 7:30... take another bath (they LOVE water) and get ready for the day!   We then head downstairs after a lotion massage from Mama and have some breakfast! :)
We head out to pictures with Penny and the driver @ about 9 am.

The girls did great.. and LOVED sitting up on the blocks for the actual pictures. They smiled and Penny and I thought it would be GREAT to get one of them together... so we asked the man and he of course said SURE! :)
Here it is:

Aren't they precious? :) Faith on Left. Grace on right!

After getting the pictures taken the girls were getting VERY tired and overwhelmed so Penny suggested we bring them back home and one of us stay with them here and one go and finish the things we had to get done.  I just have to share here more about Penny.. when the girls begin to get stressed in the vechicle or overwhelmed.. she just quietly begins to pray for them.   :)   SUCH AN AMAZING BLESSING!
Penny had an appointment so the driver dropped her off and brought Phil and the girls back home.    I went with the driver to take the pictures to the IMC clinic and meet Oleg - our Almaty coordinator.    Oleg came to the IMC and met me there and he was then headed straight to the Embassy to deliver our paperwork.    Our visa exit interview is on Monday @ 2:30 pm!
The Dr's were all so kind when I took the pics back to the clinic and I was able to share so much of our story with them.   They were so sweet and supportive and I just can't tell you how blessed we feel to have met them.    We exchanged info and they want to follow the girls for years! :)

The girls then napped and had more fruit and healthy snacks! :)   We then decided to venture to Lori's house (Penny's friend).    Lori has an indoor swimming pool in her home and given how much the girls LOVE the water and swimming... we thought this would be a great bonding as well as a good way to spend a couple afternoon hours.
Their home is BEAUTIFUL and the pool area was so so nice.   However, the pool water temperature was colder than the twins or Mama liked.. :( Papa did do the polar bear plunge.. hoping that the girls might as well, but after sticking our feet in the edge they kept saying, NYET - to cold! (Penny's driver came in with us and translated! :) )
Here are some pics though:

This one is out of order..but, here we are brushing our teeth before our pictures1 :)

Kicking water on Papa!

Warming up in the Sauna!

The girls slept much better on Friday night...   Mama not so much! :)   We are having quite a bit of trouble going to sleep.

We have been here for Sat and Sun with no plans and nothing to do for 2 whole days. Again, THANK you Jesus for Penny and Richard's house! The highlight of the past 2 days has most definitly been our 9 am appointment to skype with the girls and our family at home! Faith and Grace have loved it as much as they have. It's been so much fun watching them all and seeing them meet on the computer! :)
Saturday was a lazy day.. we did venture out after naptime because the days are LONG for Phil and I. However, again we are SO SO SO thankful we are not doing this in a tiny HOTEL room with NO kitchen.   To those of you AP's who have already been here and lived this part out in a hotel... I am so so so sorry! :) I wish I would have prayed harder for you! :)

Penny had told us about a rest. with an indoor playground inside it that was not far from their house. We couldn't find it.   We found out today that we were only a few feet away.. lol! oh well.. We wanted to get something to eat and get out of Penny and Richards hair and kitchen. They were having a dinner party.. and we didn't want to intrude. They insisted we were not.. but, we were trying to be respectful.   We looked and looked for the rest... and couldn't find it.. finally we see a sign that says, Sandwich shop in English! :) I go in and check it out.. they have an English menu.   It's small and the choices are not great.. but, it ends up being good food.   :)
Phil and I had a sandwich and we ordered some pasta for the twins.. however, Grace didn't like it (the first thing either have NOT eaten!)
Here we are on our outing yesterday:

Here they are in their new stoller for the first time! This is on the steps of Penny and Richard's house!

Headed out and down the gate to the street. That is Penny and Richard's home in the background!

Phil took this picture of us in the sandwich shop while waiting on our food. I just had to include this one.. ha ha! Don't you love my "fake" looking smile? Grace is saying, "seriously tell me that these people don't expect me to sit still in this boring place!" and then there's Faith... just smiling (don't be fooled by that adorable smile.... DO. NOT. BE. FOOLED! ;)

So, we survived our first eating out experience! :)

On Saturday night the girls slept for 10 straight hours.   I went to bed when they did and also slept for 10 hours.. only waking up 3 times! :) yeah!    Not nearly as worn out feeling today!
It's now 10 pm here on Sunday and I'm finishing up this post..
Today was another good day. The girls are learning so much every single day!   I am so so so proud of them!
They are so precious and loving to us!
We just hung our around the house today and played. We did venture out to a nearby park and walked around some. Penny went with us and showed us some sights.   The girls played in the snow and we threw snowballs at Papa! That was fun.. they were in shock when I threw the first one! It was obvious that they were NOT allowed to touch or throw the snow at the bh... but, after some encouragement Grace was a PRO! Faith didn't really like to get her hands wet or cold!   LOL!   They are polar opposites!   It's amazing!

We have our embassy apt. tomorrow afternoon and we're going to drive up into the mountains to sight see tomorrow with Penny and her driver.   Hopefully the girls will enjoy the car ride!   Phil and I really want to see the mountains! :)
Pray all goes well at the embassy!   This is the FINAL step... Our flight is scheduled to leave Almaty @ 4 am on Tuesday monring... so about 30 hours from now! Wahoo!!!

We are so excited to think that we are almost heading home! However, we DREAD the travel!
PLEASE keep praying for the girls!

We love all of you!
Remember that if the Lord asks you to do something... He is planning on paving the way!   JUST take a step and TRUST him!
Today I just continued to think of the scripture.... "Did I not tell you that if you believed you would see the GLORY of God?"   Wow! Yes, Lord you did... I am so sorry I doubted you for a second!    We give all the praise and glory to YOU!   Thank you Jesus for these two babies who are sleeping feet away from me!    THANK YOU JESUS... THANK YOU for trusting us with them!   We are honored!

Part 2 - GOTHA DAY - March 9, 2011

2011-03-12T02:24:00.000-06:00

Just to catch you up to date.. it's now Saturday March 12th.   We are at our friends home in Almaty.. scheduled to leave on Tuesday @ 4 am!   Wahoo!   I am going back to last Wed. and trying to catch everyone up to date.    Yes, they are asleep... my precious adorable wondeful babies are sleeping! :) (Papa too!) so.. I only have a good hour to get this written uploaded and posted...
on to the good stuff...

Now to continue from Part 1:
We then headed to Faith and Grace's group/room to pick them up. The caregivers had dressed them already in the clothes we brought.   I also brought as assortment of barrettes and hairbows, and planned to figure out the best/cutest way to fix their hair.. lol!    The caregivers had put EVERY single barrette in their hair! :)
As you can see in the picture below of Faith.. :)   I just smiled and let it go and knew inside that I had YEARS to fix their hair! :)    (oh and I was so excited to see that they hadn't cut their hair again while we were gone... thank the Lord! I know it's just hair, but I can't wait to get it cut cute and fix it for them! )

I asked if we could take a picture with them beside their beds. The caregivers weren't very happy, but agreed. Symbat (translator) took the picture. I was hoping she'd get the entire room of beds, but as you can see she didn't. The room is JUST like this - lined from one end to the other with little beds. SO SO sad...

The caregivers put their coats on them etc... This is one of their caregivers telling them Paka (bye)!

This is the door to their group. We went out it for the LAST time! Thank you JESUS!! I don't know if I had Faith or Grace here.. but, they were waving at the caregivers and their friends and telling them bye for the last time! WAHOO!

Going down the stairs from their group... FOR THE LAST TIME!

One of the doctors wanted to see us in her office one last time. We were just coming out of her office here. It made our stomachs DROP, but she just wanted to tell the girls bye and wish us luck!

When we got to this corner the staff (doctors, caregivers, etc) were all gathered out here and waiting to tell them Bye. I still can't believe all the people who came out to tell them bye. The girls just smiled and laughed and said Paka and Bye bye both! Their doctor (the nice one I've posted pics of before) was about to cry.. so I hugged her. Faith then hugged her too, and the doctor took Faith from me. Faith started to whimper and said NYET (no) Mama and reached back for me. The crowd LOVED that and so did her Mama! :)

Notice in the picture below... if you've followed our blog all along you will remember that this is the doctor who was SO incredibly mean to us. She was in the group. She was all smiles and very kind. I patted her and smiled HUGE and she smiled back. It was one of those moments where you just KNOW that God is all over it!

Papa and Grace are coming up the hallway.. we are heading to the door!!!! :)

We are signing FOR THE LAST time the registry book in Bagdat's office (director)!!!

Here we are with Baghdat. Baghdat told us that the donation money we gave (you are required to give a large donation when you adopt a child(ren) from an orphanage here) was used to redecorate this entry way. We were happy to hear this.. but, a little sadden that it wasn't something more for the children there.. BUT at least we know the money was used at the babyhouse.

The classic BREAK-OUT picture! We are OUT OF THERE! On the front steps and about to embrace the world! PURE joy and the praises all go to our wonderfull faithful Lord and Savior!

We then went by the ministry of education office because some of the ladies we met and got to know at court wanted to see us!! TRULY amazing! The twins however, were NOT happy campers in the van. The women came down to the van to see us.. We got to hug them and they wished us the best,, etc.. but, overall it was so stressful. The girls were so on overload!

Svetlana said the ladies asked to see us specifically. Isn't that wonderful?! God so has plans and we are so thrilled to see those coming to pass! Pavlodar.. you have not seen the last of the Gobble's! :)

We made it back to the apartment and things were a LOT better. It was about noon when we got back.. so we needed a little lunch. My plan was to fed them some lunch... give them a good bath, a nice massage with some lotion, brush teeth and take a nap! We discovered when we got back that we had NO water! URG... gotta love Kazakhstan! :(

However, we did eat some yogurt and a banana. They were SO hungry!

In our bed at the apartment.. with their blankies! This ended right after this picture was taken and one went with Papa to the living room and one stayed with me in the bedroom. They both went right to sleep VERY easily. Incredible!

They slept for about 1 1/2 hours. :) They were in shock when they woke up and thrilled to see us! It was SO sweet.. we got the Mama and Papa screams! :) Here they are playing in the apartment!

The water came back on while they were napping, so we were able to take a bath (the water was NOT clear, but it was water!) The girls LOVE water which we already knew. Remember the day I got to see them 'smimming' at the babyhouse in the 'pool'? They are 1/2 fish! Perfect cause we have 2 more 1/2 fish girls at home! Summer-time HERE WE COME! :)

Svetlana felt SO bad for us when they dropped us off at the apartment, in fact she really wanted to come up and stay with us to help. :) It was SO sweet, but we insisted that we would be ok... She wanted to take us to dinner (since it was my birthday) and thought we could go to the RubyCom to the indoor toys that are on the 3rd floor. Here the girls are all bathed, lotioned and ready for another outing!

Here they are waiting to go play at the indoor playground. Grace LOVED every second. Faith DID NOT! Faith was scared and ended up not playing at all. Mama just held her. Honestly, I should have followed my gut and declined this outing.. but, it was our last evening in Pavlodar with the staff... so we wanted to spend some time with them as well. It was ok.. they helped us a lot, but this was to much for the twins.

We then spent more time at the apartment packing up and getting ready to go. We then headed to the airport. The drive to the airport was once again KILLER. The girls would not sit still at all. They were from one end of the van to the other and NON-STOP. It was absolulty insane. They were on the floor boards, standing in the seats, etc.. It was all SO overwhelming to them and they had NO clue how to react! We finally made it to the airport and the REAL fun started! (the van was NOTHING compared to the rest of the day.. ha ha! ) They are remodeling the airport (have been for months) so it's a complete MESS..they are construction junk scattered everywhere and everything is COVERED in dust and dirt. The girls are running all over the place. We literally chase them all over the airport. At one point EVERY single person in the airport waiting area was STARRING at us! LOL! It was such a FUN experience! They were not that interested in the 'survival' Dora backpacks that I packed... and I was trying HARD to save the 'snacks' for the plane ride! The 2 hour wait felt like 17 hours. I laughed when I looked through the pictures. I honestly don't remember taking this picture... however, it is THEM and it's in th airport in Pavlodar. I think this had to be the ONLY time they sat down! I can't believe this picture.. so I included it.

After 9,543 minutes they FINALLY announce boarding... EVERYONE gets up to leave and heads out... Grace decides she wants to be carried. Faith throws herself in the floor. We are LAST already... trying to head that way! We head out the door.... the COLD blast of night Kazakhstan air hits us and they do not want to walk. I have Grace.. Phil has Faith. Grace will NOT let me carry her, but when I put her down she will NOT walk. She's fighting... she is upset. I am trying to walk against 120 mile per hour bitter cold. They start the plane engines... YES, they do... The blast from the engines about knocks us over and scared them to death! Faith starts SCREAMING and kicking and YELLING Mama... we try to change kids... They are in shock, scared to death, freezing and over stimulated. Phil and I... well, you can imagine. Now, I have to be honest here... when I get to the point of complete stress and about to breakdown I have this CRAZY insane reaction that I can't control... it's so wrong.. but, I start laughing.. and usually when I get to this point.. the tears and laughter all mix together. By the time I get one twin (Faith) to the top of those stairs SCREAMING... I am at my end emotionally... The tears start falling and the laughter starts! Yes. you read correctly.. I walked down the entire aisle of the plane with a SCREAMING kid while I was laughing and crying at the same time... and yes, our seats were the next to the last BACK row! Lovely! :)

Phil finally makes it on as well.... we are trying to get their coats off and calm them down... Phil gets Grace calmed down... Faith is sobbing, but it's getting better.... as you can imagine I'd been praying for a solid 2 hours for peace, comfort, DIVINE intervention from our heavenly father! ;) Faith is still crying some and Phil looks over at me and smiles (across the aisle) with about 1/4 smirk.. like.. what's your problem lady.. I got my kid calmed down.. and the second he looks at me like that... Grace touches the window and the ENTIRE side panel of the plane comes CRASHING in on her! Now..If you aren't laughing by this point.. just laugh! (we are all better now.. so just go ahead and enjoy the humor in this REAL LIFE story.. and I'll admit it.. I'm cracking up writing it all out!)..

humm... Mr. Papa had it ALL together.... NOW he's putting the plane back together cause we sure as heck don't want them to delay the flight.. lol!!! He gets it all stuck back up there... sort of! lol!!!!

We sigh.. and think we're headed to the runway.. so we break out the dum dum suckers. I thought I was so good and thought of it all.. dum dum suckers for take-off and landing... go Mama.... However, NOTE TO SELF: Do not administer suckers to early... or all suckers will be in belly LONG before flight leaves the ground! LOL! Yep... you guessed it.. They chewed them up in about 2.3 seconds and we then stopped before even taking off.... LOVELY!

The suckers were LONG gone before take-off. However, they did fairly well once we got in the air. Landing in Almaty was some stressful.... had some crying, but nothing bad. Faith slept a little, but Grace never went to sleep.

We then finally land in Almaty. (if you've ever flown into Almaty you understand this.. you exit plane and stuff yourselves on these shuttles and head in to the airport. The shuttle ride was KILLER.. they hated it and were so exhausted and overwhelmed.... it was a nightmare again. We finally head to baggage claim and Phil says... Ok.. can you take them both and walk straight to Penny (our new friends who were meeting us here in Almaty)... I carry them both and we head out... and I see Penny! It was like she was GOD! :) She could see the desperation on my face. Thankfully Grace let her carry her and we went straight to the car. Their driver was waiting. Penny got us settled with their sweet driver and went back in for Phil. I will write more later about Penny and Richard and how wonderful staying here has been. It's been ABSOLULTY another God thing... you will get chill bumps reading about how God once again provided for us and these precious babies! I will write all about this later. We arrive at their BEAUTIFUL home here in Almaty @ about 1:30 am... We went ahead and gave the girls another bath to try to calm them... (in CRYSTAL CLEAR WATER)... Here they are sitting on the bed after their bath and lotion!

I know my stories of the nightmare mere seconds before this are hard to believe... given the adorable sweet cuteness that this picture radiates! :) ... and with some back rubs from Mama and Papa and some kisses and pats... they are asleep @ 2:30 am!

... and that's the wonderful ending to the longest, yet most rewarding, fulfilling and exciting birthday of my life!
Check back soon..   I will post more pictures and details.. this story is LONG from over!   We continue to see God's hand and wonderful provisions for our family and these precious babies!
Did I mention that I'm still in shock!   wow!   They are really with us!
We give YOU all the praise and glory Lord!! YOU ARE SO FAITHFUL!!!
gotta go.. they are up!   Bye for now!

March 9th, 2010 - Gotcha Day - Nauryz Party - PART 1

2011-03-11T11:23:00.000-06:00

WOW! The day was incredible! We are still in shock I think... but, none the less thrilled and excited!
I think sharing about 50 (ha ha) pictures will tell the story of our day much better than I can write about it... :)
Here's the day.... (it was a LONG LONG LONG day for us!!!)

It started out with the staff picking us up at 8:30. We were able to dig Svetlana's special gift out of the donation suitcases and give it to her. I made her a frame with pictures of all the families that I know that she has helped find their children. She was THRILLED and blown away by the gift! She sends her warmest regards and best wishes to all those families!

Here we are taking all the luggage (donations) into the babyhouse. As you can see it took LOTS of help! :)

There was a special program @ 9:30 that focused on a couple of adorable twin girls! :) They were SO thrilled when we walked in... :) Here are some pictures of the program. Yes, that's Faith in the cream dress... grinning at us from ear to ear... AWE!!

That's Grace with her fingers in her mouth. She was VERY excited to sing and do the motions!

That's Grace in the caregivers lap. :)

We took pastries and goodies for the children. We were able to give them out to the children after the program. Phil had the camera and was supposed to take pictures of me handing the treats out..however, he took a video of it. SO, we don't have pics of the kids eating their treats... but we have a video! :)

The other children went back to their rooms and we took these pictures with the twins!

The lady in the midde below is the music director. She was so kind to us for the entire MONTHS we've been coming to the babyhouse! She got teary eyed as we were talking after the production and told us that the special (solo) that Faith and Grace sang was a song she wrote just for them to sing today for us! Awe.. precious! :)

After the show was over the caregivers and staff wanted us to give them the clothing we brought for the girls to leave in... and they wanted to dress them in them. I was a little sad about this, but agreed. I have LOTS of times to dress them in the future...so I just let it go.. :( We then went to the offices to unpack and donate the things we had brought. Here we are unpacking the donations.

The above picture was when we were completly finished. We literally filled the entire room up with clothing and toys. The staff was in SHOCK! Word quickly spread throught the babyhouse and staff would appear at the door to look at all the stuff. It was amazing. The director and staff were in shock and said that they've NEVER had anyone donate so much stuff. They were so thrilled and excited. We smiled and said that we just wanted to bless this babyhouse and the children who weren't going home today. They were very kind and appreciative. If you donated items... thank you so so so so so very much!
We were then able to go to a couple of different rooms and hand out trucks and babydolls. I have to say this was my FAVORITE part. These kids are precious and BEGGING for attention and love. I don't think I have to say anything else... you can see it in the pictues.

As you can see in the above pictures. The Nauryz party was a SUCCESS! I do wish that we could have brought more food and actually seen them eating more of it.. but, we were able to give them the treats we brought after the celebration, and we left more with the director for the entire babyhouse.

This is part 1 of our day... I will post more soon... We are doing good. My goal is to try to get caught up on the blog this weekend. We are in Almaty until Monday night late. However, there are 2 precious bundles who are sleeping in this room right now that might have different plans for this tired Mama... and if they do... oh well! ;)

I think I'm still in shock that they are WITH us forever! I will write more about all that soon.. I have to get some sleep.. the nights are SHORT these days! ha ha! :)

Paka for now... PLEASE keep praying for these sweet babies!

... and I promise the next post is the break-out pictures and some we've taken since they've been with us! Check back soon!!

March 8th! We saw them today!

2011-03-08T19:02:00.000-06:00

(It's now Wed. morning.. I was not able to post this last night due to internet/computer problems.. but, trying again this morning at the hotel!) I wrote all this yesterday:

We made it to Pavlodar last night... and had an appointment with Svetlana today @ 11am. Translator (Symbat) told us it was to get the paperwork and discuss the party, but I had this nervous feeling that I just couldn't shake.. LOL!! It's amazing the emotions and feelings we feel just being here in this country and in this apartment!

We attempted to sleep (attempted being the key) and then went to Krendal's for some breakfast before meeting with Svetlana @ 11 am. Breakfast was GREAT and we both commented and laughed that we'd missed Krendal's.. and some of our favorites here! (NEVER thought we'd say or think that! lol) We then met with Svetlana. We had a GREAT visit and it was incredible seeing her again. We really missed her and honestly were so glad to see her again. Everyone hugged and tried not to bawl!

We made BIG plans for the Nauryz party for tomorrow. It's going to be an incredible celebration. Bagdat and Svetlana have been discussing things and ideas and we are excited to experience it tomorrow. Svetlana gave us all the paperwork and adoption decrees etc. for the girls and we discussed the things we have to complete in Almaty. It is truly amazing having all this in our hands. A true testament of God's favor and GRACE! Wow!! Honestly, it all still seems so SO unreal!

We then asked about visiting the twins today and Svetlana arranged for us to go and visit them @ 4pm this afternoon.

Svetlana was so excited to hear about tomorrow being my birthday and insisted that she and I go and get our hair styled at her Salon!

Symbat went home... Phil went back to the apartment and Svetlana and I had a girls afternoon! It was a lot of fun... lots of laughs.. trying to communicate and just a fun time! I can now say I had my hair styled in Kazakhstan... I mean seriously, who else can say that? lol!!

A Svetlanas stylist was busy so I drew (ha ha) the young girl... She decided after shampooing my hair that I had plenty of natural curl and she went with that! :) I was hoping of a calmer look... with some curls like Svetlana's.. but, when you can't really communicate.. you get what you get!! She spent a lot of time on it... and WOW it's big! Phil hesitated when opening the apartment door.. lol!

Here are some pictures of our salon visit:

Here I am with my stylist! :)

Svetlana with her stylist!

Fun times at the salon in Kazakhstan! :)

So... we waited then for what felt like YEARS and finally 4 pm rolled around!   We were VERY excited...
The caregivers really messed up our arrival. (as you will see in the video below) they made the girls wait and wait and wait.    The caregivers also said that the girls 'knew' we were coming tonight. We asked how and they said they had NO idea, but Grace said we were coming tonight.   :) Isn't that interesting!     The caregivers said they have asked and talked about us daily! awe... melt my heart! :)
Here's the reunion video:

(Can't get it to load.. I am emailing it to my friend Starr.   Keep checking back here.. she will upload it soon! ) :) Thanks Starr!

As you can see in the video they were VERY excited.. but, seemed in shock honestly.  (and my HUGE hair scared them.. lol!) We then went into the back playroom to play.     They were in shock... it has been 46 days since we last visited them. That's a LONG time when you are 3 1/2 years old.    They were happy and seemed to relax as the hour and a half progressed, but they both really had their guards up. This breaks our hearts completly into... it was just so obvious that they were thinking it wasn't for real and we were leaving them again. Faith BAWLED and SOBBED when we left.   Grace acted like she really didn't care we were leaving.    It was heartbreaking. We told them both that this was the last time we'd leave them, but it would be hard to believe given the things they've been through.
Now.. don't get me wrong, I have NO doubt that we'll regain EVERY single step we made in bonding and skills in RECORD time.    We have no doubt that tomorrow will be the beginning of a wonderful life... and we are focusing on that.   You just can't help but be a little sadden that they've had to endure this one last bit of sadness... bless their little hearts!
Tomorrow at this time we will be FLYING out of here WITH THEM!     Oh what a SWEET day it will be!
Here are some pictues from today.   Symbat didn't take many.. and we were more interested in playing and hugging and kissing than pictures... SORRY! ;)
But, we got a couple decent ones:

Grace snuggling in... I had to show her again, but she snuggled right in and just looked at me like wondering if I was really there... :( YES!!!! Starting tomorrow for the rest of your life! :)

This one is funny cause Papa ended up in the background. We ended up right in front of Symbat and she snapped this one!

I have to admit though that my heart is breaking into for the other babies here... you see I know that Faith and Grace are going to be OK.. I KNOW this! They are going home with us tomorrow to a home and family of love and JESUS! I only have a few hours left to give these other babies some love... so, I asked Symbat if she'd ask the caregivers if we could play with the entire group for the last 30 minutes or so. The caregivers didn't mind.. I asked about taking pics so F and G would have some of their group and rooms. They agreed... so I got to sit in the floor and HUG babies for 30 minutes. TRULY an answer to my prayers. The twins were jealous and I dealt with that the best I could.. but, kept telling myself that after tomorrow they will have me for the REST of their lives! :) These kids are BEGGING for love!
Here are some pictures I wanted to share:

That's Grace in the red shorts and Faith in the green shirt! :) Faith elbowed the little girl on my lap kissing me at one point and said, "NYET - - -- - -- - - - Mama!" LOL! Poor baby.. tomorrow starts the rest of our lives and YES it's for FOREVER!

Giving my Faith a little attention. She was jealous. Grace didn't show her jealously as much...

It's Wed. am here and I'm finishing this post up..   I have so much to say, but fear I will lose my computer (it's overheating BADLY) and then shuts down... and internet is off and on.. urg!
Internet will be fine in Almaty and hopefully I'll find the time to post frequently.. however, loving on two babies is my main goal! :)

Today is the beginnging of the rest of our lives together and the day I've waited and prayed and trusted God for for years!   Oh glorious day...
and it makes me cry thinking that my Jesus loved me enough to give it to me on my birthday.   I felt like that is just a little extra something from my Jesus.. my best friend!   A pat on the back and a hug of HUGE portions... :)    Makes my heart swell and isn't it just like HIM to make us feel so very special!
Wow... what an amazingly awesome and personal God we serve!

Staff is picking us up in an hour and a half.. (8:30 am) to have the party and get the girls!!! WAHOO!!
Our flight back to Almaty is at 11:10pm tonight..
I will post pics from today asap...
PLEASE keep praying for us and the girls.. and the party today.... Pray God pours out his sweet spirit on that babyhouse and staff....    I can't wait to feel his pressence in there!

We are Kazak bond!!!

2011-03-04T02:00:00.000-06:00

We found out last Thursday that we can come and pick up Faith and Grace!! We are so thrilled.
Things have been falling into place day by day and we are in AWE of the Lord...
I know I've said it a million and ten times on this blog... but, God so provides if you TRUST him... even when it looks so bleak!!!

Wow... goose bumps just writing that out.. What an awesome God we serve!!
It's 12:42 am on Thursday night.. we leave on Sat. @ 12:04 pm!!! YES, we are excited!!

I am most definitely nesting... ha ha!!!
I just scrubbed our kitchen floor and am now waiting on it to dry... so I decided this was a good time to post some info and news on the blog!!!

I have lots of various things to share... so stick with me while I ramble!!!

First I want to post some pictures of Faith and Grace's room: (finally.. sorry that it's taken me so long to get them on here!)

This is the scripture that the Lord gave us when we were praying about their names! This scripture is why they are named "Faith and Grace!"

You can't really see the details on the walls, but I added dashes showing where the butterfly were flying. Grace looked at this picture and told Symbat that she's going to cook something yummy at that stove! (Amazing language skills!!!)

You also can't see the details on the squares either... but, there are dashes around those making them look like quilt blocks.. matching the comforter! When we showed the twins the pictures... they were already fighting (in Russian) about who gets the top bunk! :)

We are on the countdown until our babies are in this room in REAL life... oh what a joyous day it will be!! :)

The next bit of amazing news... I've posted about it on Facebook, but not on the blog yet... sorry about that!
We were contacted by an amazing organization about throwing a Nauryz Party at the babyhouse in Pavlodar.   Nauryz is a national holiday in Kazakhstan on March 22nd and they celebrate the end of winter, new beginnings and abundance.      The organization who contacted us is Two Hearts for Hope.   Most of my readers are familiar and support Two Hearts For Hope, but everyone doesn't... so if you aren't familiar with them. I encourage you to click here and visit their website!   They are doing some amazing things for the orphans in Kazakhstan and we are honored to get to be apart of their wonderful mission.
We are looking forward to partnering with Two Hearts for Hope in the future and working together to bring hope and love to those babies who are still waiting! :)
So.. Stacy and Kim contacted us from Two Hearts and asked if we'd be willing to throw a HUGE Nauryz party at the babyhouse when we pick up Faith and Grace.

I just have to share what an amazing answer to prayer this was for us.   I had felt in my heart for weeks that we had to do something big... that we had to 'show' those babies, the workers, the staff Jesus.. We had to somehow.. someway SHINE for him!!    This is EXACTLY what I had been asking God to help us do... I wanted to throw a HUGE party... and get to take FOOD to those babies.      Two Hearts gave us $450 to throw that party!
We have it set up with the babyhouse director through our lawyer and it's going to be an amazing day!!!

As most of you remember I asked for donations of clothing and toys to take back to the babyhouse with us...
We have had LOTS of donations...   We are SO excited to take all these suitcases and give these toys and clothing to the babyhouse.
My mom and I have worked several different times on packing these.
Here's a breakdown of what all we are taking!!!

- OVER 1,000 pieces of clothing!!!!
(This includes the following items from birth - 3T: onsies, sleepers, shirts, pants, outfits, overalls, dresses, tights, underwear, panties, snow suits, jackets, socks, blankets, etc)

- The following toys:
(wooden train set, Mr. Potato head, shape sorters, pop-up toys, mega blocks, stackable cups, wooden beads and lace sets, jack-n-the-box, trucks, balls, recorders, toy animals, jump ropes, bubbles, yo-yo's, stunt gliders, planes, crayons, activity books, chalk, dress up clothes and jewelry, baby books, baby teethers, baby rattles, coloring books, colored pencils, tractors, babydolls etc)

You get the general idea... The donations are OVERWHELMING!!!
Here are some pictures:

Isn't that just like the Lord.. amazing .. truly amazing! We found out that it will cost us $200 per suitcase extra for the extra bags. This is ONLY to get to Almaty... then we'll have extra baggage overages with the Air Astana flights as well. We said.. ok Lord a few days ago.. and you know what... God has provided. Today alone I was handed $1,400 for baggage overages!!! God is SO faithful and amazingly awesome!!

My heart is overwhelmed with his goodness and mercy!

The Lord has once again provided for us financially... I am in awe and so humbled as I sit here paying our bills and about to embark on another journey around the world. We are so blessed!!!

Let me just tell you that there is NO way we could have done this without the Lord. His plan and amazing provisions are beyond anything we could have ever even dreamed!

CLING to his promises... they WILL come true!!!!

I have had lots of friends and family ask about coming to the airport next week when we return. This is my response. We are not asking anyone to NOT come. If you would like to be there and join us in celebrating our AMAZING savior.. then PLEASE come! We know that it will most likely be overwhelming for the twins... however, we feel it will be ok!

YOU are invited to join us... if you would like to be there!

We know that everyone will be courteous to our immediate family and allow us to have a few moments of snot slinging, hugs and introductions before everyone else comes forward!

We have NO doubt that everyone will have Faith and Grace's best interest in mind... :)

Whew... just typing that all out makes my stomach roll and my hands sweat and shake... I wonder if I will be able to stand... it's like that moment will be the completion of 3+ years of TRUSTING God!! Tears now... wow... I can not imagine the emotions and the amazingly sweet presence of our Jesus that we will feel! Our Lord is SO faithful and good and just!

Next topic.. we've had lots of you ask about specifics of travel, etc..

Here's the details:

March 5th - Leave OKC @ 12:04 pm

OKC to Washington

Washingto to Frankfort

Frankfor to Almaty, Kazakhstan

Arrive in Almaty on March 7th (12 hour lay over)

Leave Almaty on March 7th @ noon

Almaty to Astana

Astana to Pavlodar. Arrive in Pavlodar March 7th @ 5:45 pm.

Arrive at our second home! :)

March 8th - Visit Faith and Grace (hopefully) and get things ready to the BIG party the next day!

March 9th - THE BIG DAY!!!

(Oh..and just so you know.. March 9th is MY BIRTHDAY!!!!! Isn't that amazing? Out of 365 days in a year.. it's on my b-day.. Just like the Lord!)

We then have the Party - Lanetta's b-day.... Faith and Grace busting out - and Nauryz Celebration for the kiddos in their babyhouse!

Wow... what an amazing day it will be!!!

We then leave Pavlodar on March 9th @ 11:00 PM

Arrive in Almaty @ 1:00 am on March 10th.

We have to have 3 business days in Almaty... so we have the 10th, 11th.. then have the weekend and then the 14th... We leave Almaty for home @ 4 am on the 15th. Almaty to Frankfort, Frankfort to Chicago and Chicago to OKC... arriving in OKC @ 7:34 pm!!!!

whew... makes me tired typing all that out.. ha ha!!!

Ok.. I have to share this then I've got to get back at the house cleaning... (it's 1:43 am.. and yes, I'm working tomorrow!)

Anyway... most of you remember when we were trying to get home at Christmas time.. and we were delayed and canceled and stalled. It took us 70+ hours to get home... remember?

Well... God works in ALL things.. and if it had not been for those delays, we would have missed his PERFECT plan. We met a lady also traveling from Almaty - she also happened to be from Oklahoma as well.. .AMAZING!

She and her husband live in Almaty and we quickly became friends. They are amazing people and have insisted that we stay with them in their home. They have other (English speaking) friends who happen to have 6 year old twin daughters and they have already brought toys, clothings, etc. to their home preparing for us to stay with them. They have friends who I've been emailing who are SO SO SO sweet. They are ready with their drivers, translators and kids for playing, sight seeing, etc.... They are SO kind and willing and want to help us!

We are SO humbled by all this... this saves us from days in a hotel room with 2 girls who have never left the babyhouse before. We will have toys and a home and lots of HELP! We are SO thrilled and excited to spend some time with our generous and amazing new friends!

So.. the moral of the story is this: REGARDLESS of how things look.... you see we REALLY wanted to get home quicker back in Dec.... but, God had a plan.. and even though I knew that and wondered... it was NOT my choice to be delayed.. but, it was the best thing for us...

so... regardless of what you are facing.. and it might look like God is NOT rescuing you... keep in mind that HE KNOWS BEST.. and when you think he's not there and not working... OH, my sweet friends... HE IS!!!!

I am just overwhelmed with emotions...

Please pray for us and for Faith and Grace.... there are some serious issues that we need prayer for... PLEASE join us in covering those babies with prayer!

This will most likely be the last post before we hit the air... so I will post as soon as I can when we are there and have news!!!

Thanks for reading and for the love, support and prayers!!!

YOU are such a blessing to us!

Keep holding on to Jesus.. and know that HE IS MOVING even when you don't see or hear him.. he's right there!!! :)

Blessings... and HUGS!

Delayed yet again... and we met and Spang Family!!

2011-02-20T21:08:00.001-06:00

We found out last Thursday evening that we are for sure NOT leaving this Friday (Feb. 25th) to pick up Faith and Grace.

Svetlana does not have the passports yet.   She is supposed to receive them 'soon'... they estimate we can go and pick them up 7 days later... (this would mean we leave on March 4th... one week later)... 7 days longer....
However, they have not confirmed that this is FOR sure.. and have not allowed us to make definite plans, purchase tickets, etc... :(

We continue to wait... trust God and watch him move!
I will be honest and tell you that it was SUCH a disappointment.     We were very sad... as you can imagine.   If we get to go on March 4th... it will have been 6 1/2 weeks since we left them... :(
The last time we saw them was Jan. 21st.    That's a LONG time if you are 3 1/2.

However, we both KNOW that God has a plan that we do not see or know of... He has not forsaken us and we will bring those babies home in and on his EXACT time table... NOT Lanetta's! ;)

Just another opportunity for us to trust him and watch him come shining through once again!    We have a choice to trust him.... or moan and complain and feel sorry for ourselves...

Big sigh...
It is tough.. but, before we know it they will be home forever!

All the scriptures and songs and passages that the Lord has given us over the past 3 1/2 years all apply here today.

It has been truly amazing how God has continued to provide for this journey!   We have been blown away by God's plan!!    Things are most definitely falling into place and for that we are SO humbled and thankful!   God has such an amazing plan... so much better than we can EVER dream up.   Wow!   We are SO amazed by our Lord!

The donations of clothing and toys just keep coming... INCREDIBLE!   We are not sure how we're going to get it all there.... but, WE WILL!!!     We've even had some folks donate money to help us with luggage fees and overages!    INCREDIBLE!!!
We have been blessed and blessed and blessed... NEVER in my wildest dreams did I ever imagine this...   God is SO very faithful!
If he's tugging at your heart strings today... don't fret or worry or question.   Take a HUGE step forward!!! BE BRAVE and do what he's calling you to do...   HE does NOT expect you to figure it all out. He has a plan and it's far better than anything you've ever thought of before!

We spent a great day on Saturday with Bailey and Brooklyn.    We went to dinner (had a family DATE), a movie and did a little shopping.   We went looking for a double stroller and some items for Faith and Grace.   The girls are SO excited and involved in every aspect of picking things for their sisters.    They can hardly stand the continuing to wait and argue about who's going to do what with who!   PURE sweetness! :)
Faith and Grace are going to be overwhelmed with LOVE... :)     Awe... makes my heart smile!     I have NO doubt that those 4 girls are going to instantly bond! :)
I can hardly wait to see it all happening...   ;)

While out on our family date/day... We had the honor of meeting the Spang family!     Jill and I have followed each others blogs for years (3 years to be exact) and feel like we know each other SO well. They were in Oklahoma visiting some friends and we were able to meet them!   This was the first 'blog' friends we've meet in real life and let me tell you it was awesome!
If you follow their blog you'll understand... Sarah and Will are just as cute in person as in the pictures!   We enjoyed meeting and visiting with Bob, Jill, Sarah and Will SO much!    Spang Family you are such a blessing to us!!     We are honored to finally meet in 'real' life and honored to call you friends! :)

As frustrating as it was... My camera batteries were dead! URG! However, Bob took the following pics for us!

From left to right: Brooklyn, Sarah, Bailey and Will :)

Bailey and Will - Bay was/is quite the babysitter! Will is such a DOLL! Smiles nonstop and is such a flirt and charmer! PRECIOUS!

It was great to meet Jill in real life!

Brook and Sarah! Sarah is such a CUTIE as well! Brook LOVED chasing her and babysitting her! ;) ha ha!! Sarah weighs EXACTLY what Faith and Grace weigh, so Brook was thrilled to be able to pick her up!

I-171H Form

2011-02-15T12:59:00.000-06:00

I had to quickly post that our new I-171H form has been processed and approved and we have a PDF copy... paper copy is in the mail!!
(For you non-adoption readers.. this is the approval that you must have to get through immigration with your child(ren).... it's a HUGE deal.    Ours expired on Feb. 15th. :( )

Thank You Lord for a sweet supervisor at the NBC office (Immigration)!

It is looking like we'll be heading to pick up Faith and Grace on Feb. 25th... that's ONE week from Friday!!! ONLY 10 days away!!!!   WAHOO!!

The agency is confirming with Svetlana that the their passports will be ready and then it's book tickets and get our babies FOREVER!!!

We are so excited!
It's so hard to think of them.. and wonder what they are thinking.   Are they thinking we are never coming back?   Are the caregivers telling them that we are?   Who knows....
However, I do know this... Our Jesus is holding them in his hand!
A DEAR friend had a dream this past Sat. night and he was in the orphange rocking and praying with the girls.   Phil and I both BAWLED and knew it was the Lord confirming to us once again that even though it's hard and we can hardly stand it... HE'S taking care of them!

Thank you Lord for ALL of it!
We are in awe of you!!!    We are forever changed for your glory.... and thank you for this journey!

Ways you can help!

2011-02-10T01:30:00.000-06:00

We received an email from our lawyer on Monday February 8, 2011 confirming that she had the adoption decree in her hand. This was a HUGE relief. This means the waiting period was over on Monday. They are forever ours! Thank you Jesus!!!

They are now processing all the paperwork so that we can come and pick up the girls.

Svetlana estimated that if she received the adoption decree on Feb. 8th, that we’d be able to pick up the twins on February 24 or 25th.

Our I-171H (which is the form you have to have from US Immigration to bring your children into the US) expires on Feb. 15. We completed a home study update and all the information needed very quickly upon returning home. We had to pay yet again for this form ($720)… and we only need around 10 days more… so frustrating!

USCIS is saying they have our name tagged and will expedite our update the second it is logged into their system. They cannot or will not give us a time frame for how quickly they will turn the form around. We could possibly be delayed due to this form. We are praying it comes QUICKLY, and making plans that it will be here in time.

I have had several people ask if we need anything or what they can do to help us… I’ve shared with a few close friends and some who have asked some of our definite needs. EVERYONE has begged me to continue to be honest…. And allow others to help – therefore also sharing in the blessing!

I am going to be VERY honest. It’s VERY difficult to type this out and share it…. Because we’ve been SO SO SO very blessed by all of you already.

PLEASE know we are so very honored, humbled and thankful! The Lord has provided every step of the way for us and we KNOW he will continue to provide. I have shared with several people how amazing it truly is… If someone would have told me 6 months ago that Phil and I would have both been off work with NO pay for almost 3 months, I would have said there is NO way that we could afford or make it. I can’t even tell you how amazingly incredible this truly is. ALL of our bills are paid and were on time every single month. God has provided EVERY need! His word says that he will…. And HE does!

The fees and amount we had to spend in country were thousands more than expected. We will have made 3 trips over there.

We have had a couple prospects about return flights… families wanting to donate frequent flyer miles, etc… but, so far nothing has worked out with that. The airlines have STRICT rules and almost make it impossible.

If we look with our natural/fleshly eye at our financial situation right now… We don’t know how we are going to afford the several thousand dollars we still need to bring Faith and Grace home forever. However, God has already begun providing. We have had two special financial gifts given to us in the last couple of weeks. One donation was specifically for one of our return tickets! We continue to be humbled as God provides. He means it when he says that he desires, “to set the lonely in families.”

We know that God will provide these last dollars to bring our girls home forever.

I’ve had people also ask how to give and/or if we get money sent through lifesong. If you would like to make a donation and it be tax deductable, you can send it through Lifesong. They are graciously keeping our fundraising account open (due to our incredible process) until Faith and Grace are HOME forever. Another amazing blessing and God’s hand!

(Please know I’m only posting this because I’ve had people ask me to…)

Here’s the info. If anyone would like to make a donation:

Our local bank:
Payne County Bank - Just make a deposit into Phillip and Lanetta Gobble’s Savings Account – Adoption Account.

Paypal – Our personal paypal is lanettagobble@yahoo.com

Here’s the info. For making a tax deductable donation through Lifesong:

Checks:
Made out to Lifesong for Orphans Memo: Gobble 1246
Sent to:
PO Box 40
202 N Ford street
Gridley, IL 61744

Online @ PayPal:
http://www.lifesongfororphans.org/donation.html
mark Gobble 1246 on memo

We know that God has a plan and we KNOW he will provide! He’s proven it time and time and time again!

Here’s the second way you can help. We asked Bagdat (Orphanage director) specifically what the orphanage needed. We told her we planned to fill several suitcases and bring LOTS of donations back to the children there when we pick up Faith and Grace. She was thrilled! She said their main needs are clothing and toys.

I know that everyone that is reading this post have seen videos on TV of orphanages or videos of children who are homeless, hurting and starving. The TV producer at the end always asks that everyone donate a certain amount of money to feed a child for a month, etc.. We have all watched it. We have all wondered if all the money REALLY goes to the children as well. I know that I’ve wondered that. Haven’t you? Let me just tell you that we are guaranteeing you that you can donate some items/money/toys to a place that is in SUCH need. I can promise you that every penny/item/toy will be given to the orphanage in Pavlodar, Kazakhstan. I would love to even be able to ask Bagdat (once we get there and give her the suitcases FULL of clothing and toys) what else the children need. I would love to have money to buy medicine or food for them (if they’d let us).

Paying the overage fees for luggage is much cheaper than shipping boxes and this way we KNOW the items make it to the babyhouse.

We donated a large sack of toys that we had purchased for bonding with Faith and Grace. We asked if they could be given to their group. The next day when we arrived, the children in their group were FIGHTING over the 2 babydolls that we had donated. It was so sad. They need toys so desperately.. as well as clothing.

We need clothing from size birth – 3T (boys and girls). We also need underwear, panties and tights.

Please keep in mind when purchasing items that we are limited on space and weight. We are going to check into taking more.. but, as of right now we will be taking 3 LARGE suitcases with nothing but donations in them. We are going to keep our personal items down to 1 suitcase, so we can donate more. Also remember that this orphanage houses children from birth to age 4.

This is yet another way that we can SHOW even the workers in the babyhouse, our in-country staff, the director, etc…. JESUS! I want them to just be amazed at the LOVE and generosity we are extending to them. I just know as we open those suitcases and hand out those items and clothing that Christ’s love will touch them.

If you do purchase some items… I have a personal favor. Will you pray over the items you are sending? Will you lay your hands on the clothing and pray for the babies who are going to be wearing those clothing. The children who are going to put that clothing on are living a life with NO family. They are cold, lonely, sometimes hungry and most likely don’t feel love. Pray that when they wear the clothing or play with the toys they will FEEL Christ’s love and that their lives will be touched. PLEASE remember that we are talking about REAL children here… children who have NOTHING… children that NEED us!

These children are BEGGING to be loved. They stand in the doorway and wait for me to hug them. They fight to get a hug… they BEG me with their eyes to love them. They BEG for me to pick them… You can see it in their little eyes… they wonder why Stella and Violetta were picked and they weren’t… They know that they are being left behind.

PLEASE join me in praying for them… PLEASE! Every single child in the world deserves a family… food, clothing, toys… HOPE. LOVE. JESUS.

I took these pics of the group on the last day we visited Faith and Grace... Can you help these babies? Keep in mind that this is just ONE of several groups. Faith and Grace are in the oldest group in the babyhouse. The other children are all younger.

Court update from Jan 21st!

2011-02-05T16:18:00.000-06:00

Then Jesus said,

“Did I not tell you if you believed you would see the Glory of God!”

John 11:41

Yes.. Lord you did and THANKS for your promises and THANKS for showing us once again that your word does NOT return void!!!

It is with much excitement and overwhelming emotion that I proudly announce that @ 6:48 pm on Jan 21st Stella Grace and Violetta Faith became legally ours!!

Wow.. I really don’t even know where to start with this update… We are sitting in O’Hare Airport in Chicago on Sunday afternoon (Jan 23rd). We were delayed leaving Frankfort, therefore missed our connecting flight from Chicago to OKC… so here we sit! :) We have several hours to wait… and I thought this would be a good time to try to type out some sort of a post about court.. and an update.

However, I am having a difficult time knowing where to start… I think I’ll go back to the day of court.

We went to the babyhouse and saw Faith and Grace for our normal visit. We visited with the director for a long time prior to seeing the girls and I asked her a lot of questions that I’d been wanting to ask her. I will post more about this in a few days… but, I plan to take suitcases FULL of needed items for the children in the orphanage when we go back to pick up the twins.

We also talked with her about the trip we will be making (mission’s trip) and want to do something HUGE for the babyhouse…. She was in SHOCK.. but, thrilled! I suggested a couple of ideas and she’s going to think about it as well. We exchanged addresses, phone numbers and emails addresses. I warned her (with tears streaming) that we would be sending packages for the children there for YEARS to come.. so just be prepared. We thanked her for the care that they’ve given to OUR daughters… and of course I cried. She was teary as well.. and it was a GOOD visit with her… SEEDS planted! :)

I just want to share that this meeting with her ALL occurred BEFORE we knew anything about the verdict. This was on the morning of Jan. 21st… we still had NO idea what the verdict was going to be… or if we were even going to really get one that day. I just felt that we had to keep trusting the Lord and walking in FAITH.. therefore, even when it LOOKED impossible… (and yes, it looked impossible)… we knew what the Lord had promised us!

Now, don’t for a second think that we’re super humans or something… cause WE ARE NOT… even as we were sitting there talking with her… I fought off the negative thoughts (those things the enemy puts in your mind)…

You see just let me tell you that everyone was cautioning us that this judge “could” give a negative verdict. They were all saying it would not surprise them… and for some reason she seemed to not like us. I have several theories as to why things were so difficult for us… but, I doubt that anyone will ever know the real reasons or why things happened the way they did. Honestly, it’s ok that we don’t know. As I’ve shared a million times on the blog… we just know that “all things are for a reason” and “work together for good to those who love the Lord!”

I am sure that there are so many millions things that we’ll never know that were orchestrated COMPLETELY due to the delays we faced.

(I am now finishing this post and it’s Feb. 4, 2011 – We are home and it’s been 2 weeks exactly since the positive verdict. Here’s the rest of the update…)

Ok…

I am going to just keep typing and pick up where I left off days ago…

We then had a good visit with the twins. It was our last visit for weeks (but, we didn’t know that it was.. we suspected, but didn’t know for sure.) Honestly, as I sit here in my bed 2 weeks later… it’s REALLY hard for me to bring myself to really type about the visit. The emotions are overwhelming and well… I miss them so much it hurts…. And thinking and typing about them still there in that orphanage with us so many miles away… well, I can’t do it tonight.. so sorry.

We left the babyhouse and went straight to the notary’s office. We filled out and notarized all the forms that the lawyer will need to act on in our behalf for completing the passports, visas, adoption certificates, birth certificates, etc… for the girls for us to bring them home. This made us feel good.. that we were going ahead with this… however, Svetlana continued to say that we were just going ahead with this since we were most likely leaving the next morning. We could feel from her that she was still VERY nervous about the court proceedings that we were facing that day… and that it was far from over for us. She tried so hard to be laid back and fun and realized, but you could just feel the stress, tension, and worry.

We went back to the apartment and got ready. They picked us up at 3:00pm. We were again so nervous, but repeated all the scriptures that we were standing on… and reminded the Lord of his promises to us and Faith and Grace. We rebuked the enemy and took authority in the Lord.

We picked up all the ladies and headed to the courthouse. There were LOTS of people in the courthouse on that day. The hallway was packed. We waited for what felt like hours… however, at about 4:00 they called our case. We all went into the courtroom. Svetlana gave her the newly corrected and notarized document that she found the error on the day before. She had lots of questions about this and asked Svetlana about this as well as Phil and I. She was her normal cheery self (the judge). She then asked me to stand and asked for my closing statement. (Svetlana later apologized and said that she did not have ANY idea that she would ask us for a closing speech.) so… having NO idea what to say, and NO prompting from in-country staff, I just ‘winged’ it and poured out my heart. I honestly have NO idea what I said… but, attempted to show her through my words and with my heart bleeding before her that we WERE IN FACT the twins parents already. I cried, but held it together and felt ok as I sat down. She then asked Phil to stand and asked him for his closing statement as well. He was incredible as well.. and also got teary eyed. I don’t really remember what he said either…except in his heart that they were already his daughters and in his heart he had 4 precious daughters and could she PLEASE allow us the privilege of welcoming them into our home and hearts FOREVER! (TEAR JERKER!)

As I think back over this session (it’s now been 2 weeks) I feel physically SICK. I can’t even put in words the agony and stress that we were under.

As we finish our speeches she then asks if we have anything else we would like to say to her or anyone in the courtroom. She then asks if Svetlana has a closing statement. Svetlana gives an INCREDIBLE statement on our behalf and honestly it was amazing the points she made. She stated all the issues the judge seemed to have and gave her our answers once again. She quoted laws and statistics of children who are never adopted. She told of stories she knew of children just like Faith and Grace who were never adopted and ended up on the streets at age 18.

It was SAD, but very moving and an incredible closing speech. She is REALLY good!

She spoke for a while. The judge then asked ALL the representative to give closing arguments. They all summarized all the info. - about us, the girls, from birth to medical info. They ALL stated and restated their medical info., all our info. Etc.. and at the end of ALL their speeches stated that they COMPLETELY support our adoption and us and recommend that our application for adoption be accepted and allowed.

At this point it’s about 4:45. The judge then states that she needs a 10 minutes recess. She says that when we come back the prosecutor will give her closing statement. We all file back out into the hallway/benches. We wait for about 20-25 minutes. She had another court session during this time. NO idea what it was about or what the deal was, but the staff told us that she was doing another session. (Just another reminder that things DO NOT work like they do here in America!)

We are finally called back into the courtroom at around 5:15. She asks the prosecutor for her closing arguments. The prosecutor speaks and again (as everyone else has already done) lists all the details again. She also says she has NO questions and completely supports us in adopting these girls.

So.. we are thinking that this will be it… surely we are about to receive a verdict.. and she then says… she needs a hour recess.. and that ONLY Phil and I need to come back for the verdict. You could feel and see the panic in EVERYONE of our new friends faces. Everyone suspected that she was going to say no… and was clearing the courtroom to do so…. Because she knew that these ladies would FIGHT for us. It was overwhelming as we walked out of there. The ladies were all hugging us in the hallway and telling us that they were SO sorry and were hoping for the best.

We left and ran a couple of errands. (exchanged some money and got our in-country flights for the next morning). It was SO obvious during this time that EVERYONE was so nervous about the verdict.

I am going to be honest here… I would not have been surprised AT ALL if we’d have received a no verdict. I was prepared. Phil and I both suspected that we might. We were planning to begin the appeal process IMMEDIATELY. We both felt and KNEW that somehow, someway, one day these 2 girls would be ours… however, we also knew that when we said.. “Ok God.. we want YOU to get the most Glory:… We were giving it ALL to him!

Now.. don’t get me wrong… I begged him…I cried.. I said.. DEAR GOD… Surely not.. surely NOT! Surely we are going to get a yes verdict… but, I also said… God if we don’t… I STILL trust YOU! I KNOW that you placed us on this journey… We KNOW that they are OUR daughters.. and we KNOW that your plans FAR surpass ours. See… I had this fear that maybe someone needed to see us trust God further, longer and more… and you know what.. if that would have been God’s will, we would have made it through it. One person’s life is worth it… ONE person getting closer to God by following our journey is worth it!

So.. at 6:15, we are back at the courthouse sitting in the hallway waiting… 6:30… still sitting waiting. There is NOT one single person there. Only the people who work in the courthouse. The other judges walk past and ask Svetlana what’s going on. (She’s friends will ALL of them.) It was obvious by watching every ones faces that they thought the judge was doing this and going to say no. I just kept quoting scriptures in my head over and over and over.. Jerimiah 1:19 ~ The Lord gave it to me. He wants us to CLING to his word when everything around us feels as if it’s crumbling.

Let me just tell you that HIS WORD WILL NOT RETURN VOID!!!

There are so many promises in that book that we all take for granted… such a shame. Lord, forgive us all!

She finally comes down the hall @ 6:45pm.. and we go into the tiny courtroom behind her. The following people were there: The judge, her court reporter girl, Svetlana, Phil, me and Symbat.

She did not smile or address us in anyway… She stood and began reading pages and pages and pages of summary about our 7 court sessions. She read details from all the days, things she asked, our answers, she went through the MASSIVE pile of paperwork and stated all the forms she had etc…

Keep in mind that she’s reading FAST.. and Symbat (translator) is trying to keep up. After about 5 minutes of reading Svetlana reaches her hand back and GRABS my hand and squeezes. I know at this point that whatever the judge just said is bad or good… but, have no idea until Symbat says, “and I also agree to allow the application of Phillip Gobble and Lanetta Gobble of twin girls - Violetta and Stella!” Silent tears start falling and I hold on tight to Svetlana’s hand. Phil puts his arm around me. I assume he heard Symbat… but, he didn’t hear what she said… so he has NO idea what is happening. She continues reading all that stuff… We stand there and listen to her read and read and read…. Until 7:15 pm… and at the end she again says that “she agrees and will allow the application to be processed!’ It was at that point that Phil realized she was saying yes!

I can’t even explain the emotions. We didn’t scream.. we didn’t shout… we hardly even smiled… It was like about all I could do stand up. It was NOTHING like we thought it would be. It was surreal. It still seems so surreal to me. We were in complete shock! Everyone was!

Svetlana gave us HUGE hugs… we were all teary eyed, but just all in shock!

The courthouse building was completely empty as we walked out and down the hall. There were only 2 cars in front when we left. It was a lot of fun telling Gernadi (Svetlana's dad - our driver)… He was so thrilled and gave me a HUGE hug! He was so relieved. We get in the van and Symbat and Svetlana are calling people telling them the GREAT news, and Phil and I are just sitting there. We have NO way to call or let anyone know… and we are seriously in shock!

Svetlana calls all the ladies involved and they are SO relieved.

Svetlana insists we go to Krendal’s to celebrate… so off we go!

Here are some pictures of our dinner at Krendal’s:

Here we are at Krendal's with Gernadi. He is Svetlana's father and our driver. He was so kind and we enjoyed our time with him so very much. He was so sweet to us and gave the sweetest heartfelt teary toast to us and our family.

This is Bagdat the orphanage director. She went to dinner to celebrate with us. Totally a "God" thing! :)

Here we are with Svetlana and her Dad.

This is Svetlana and Bagdat.

While sitting in Krendal’s I began to just feel so physically sick that it was about all I could do to sit there. When we got back to the apartment I was in a lot of pain and just absolutely physically sick. We got flights rebooked and plans made to leave the next morning.. we finally got to call home and tell everyone. We looked at each other and just smiled. However, we were still in shock. As the night progressed I continued to get sicker and sicker… and was physically sick for about 3-4 days. I know that it was just a physical response to the battle that we had just fought and WON… however, I have to admit that I am/was disappointed. It was like we really didn’t get to experience the pure excitement of what had happened for the overwhelming emotions and physical pain. Phil got sick on the way home (flights) as well.

This is the reason why I am just now getting a blog post up about court. I don’t know why I’ve not made myself take the time to type it all out… except that it’s REALLY hard to go there.

I have had several emails and comments and people asking if we are ok… thank you for checking on us. We are ok… We came home to HUGE absences from our jobs… (lots of work to catch up on). It has been VERY hard to just jump back into life here. There are some huge adjustments and as bad as we missed home and things here… it will NEVER be the same.

Phil and I are FOREVER changed and really seeking God and his direction for us and our family.

I had a good friend today say that it’s ok to feel torn…that we in fact are torn between 2 separate worlds right now… and let me just tell you this is EXACTLY correct.

Ok.. I am going to stop for now. This post is about court.. and I’ll post more soon about what’s going on with us… details, etc..

We are ‘supposed’ to be able to pick up girls around 24-25 of Feb. I will post more details soon… PROMISE!

Be encouraged today… and CLING to him… He will never EVER EVER leave you or forsake you… even when you think that he’s silent and maybe forgotten you… Don’t give up… that might be the exact moment that you will SEE him!!

Thank you Lord for our 4 daughters! We are SO SO SO SO blessed!

... and on that note... I wanted to post my all time favorite picture of Faith and Grace...
Dear Lord, how my heart breaks and I miss them. We know that you are holding them in your hands yet again Father.. and we trust you!
I can't wait to look back on these weeks and NEVER remember them not being here....

Jan 20th - Court Session Number 6

2011-01-20T09:34:00.000-06:00

As I wrote out the title of this post... I am seriously in shock.. you see this is SO not how I thought this would be.. I never dreamed we'd be STUCK in a foreign land FIGHTING for daughters who our God spoke and told us repeatedly to come and get... hummm...
sometimes... things DON'T go the way you see them in your mind (and/or heart)... and things happen lots of times that leave all of us wondering if we missed God altogether...

Let me just stop right there and go back to the beginning of this LONG exhausting day.. and let me just tell you it was another EXHAUSTING one...

We went to the babyhouse this morning for what we thought was our last visit to F and G this trip... It was sad.. but, they don't really understand what's happening... (they are 3 years old)...    We told them through the translator that we wouldn't be back for a while.... but, when we came back we'd be picking them up and we'd go home forever.. they said DA (yes) and smiled and ran on to play with another toy... ;)
It's bittersweet that they don't really understand..
One of the caregivers took some time today and came into the bonding room and 'enlightened' us on their personalities... It was funny.. cause when she left.. Symbat said... NO DUH woman!   We have spent a lot of time with F and G.. and we see their personalities SHINING through!! :)   it was funny...

We left the babyhouse and they dropped us home for a couple hours.. we made a quick lunch... prayed... read the word a little.. and Phil got out his MP3 and started listening to music...    We got more and more and more nervous... I prayed all the peace scriptures I knew... we talked and laughed and cried.. and hugged.. and tried NOT to stress... and trust God..
Next thing I know.... Phil is crying and says... Listen to this...    He ran across the following song on his MP3: (notice the verses at the first... yeah.. it was just what we needed to read!)

so we are then feeling really good.. The Lord has reminded us yet again that He has this!!!   :)

The driver and translator then arrive to pick us up @ 2 pm. We are going to Svetlana’s office before court to go over the new documents and prepare. It is obvious after about 10 minutes of arriving in her office that she is VERY concerned about today and the judge. She tells us that she took the new updated forms to the judge yesterday and that the judge had LOTS of questions. She (Svetlana) told us to be prepared again to answer things are stupid as, “what are we going to feed the twins? They most likely won’t like America food, etc”… That gives you an idea of the insanity… She said that the judge had looked at all our pictures in the dossier and was concerned that there are no neighbors anywhere close to our house. She said she attempted to tell her that this is the ‘country’ and we live in the ‘country’. Svetlana said she asked her ridiculous questions and for us to be prepared because she would ask us LOTS of things in court again today.

In the previous sessions Svetlana has been a very calming force for Phil and I.. She’s very confident, yet kind and VERY easy to talk to.. and just puts you at ease. Well, after knowing her for 3 months… and 5 previous court sessions.. it was obvious that she was VERY concerned about today.

As we sat in her office I could just feel the enemy getting a grip on my mind… our faces were dropping and Phil and I were both getting so stressed (as you could imagine!)…

I begin quoting scriptures (in my head) and praying and declaring victory, peace, grace and the Lord’s will… and the Lord reminded me of the scripture that he gave me prior to the very first court date… WAY back on Dec. 14th… (at that time.. I remembered thinking… oh Lord.. what does this mean… but, I knew)… The scripture says:

“They will fight against you but will not overcome you, for I am with you and will rescue you," declares the LORD. Jeremiah 1:19

I began quoting that in my head over and over and over… and off we went to pick up the ladies and go to the courtroom.

We arrive and find out that the judge is still in session.. and we aren’t called until 3:45. We waited for over 45 minutes… our insides were rolling… I have NEVER in my life felt such a mixture of emotions. I finally couldn’t sit any longer and paced and cried out to God and DECLARED this town, people, country for HIS glory.

I reminded him of the times he’s shown me over and over and over again that we are supposed to be in Kaz. At this EXACT time… and I begged him to PLEASE let this finally be about the twins… You see.. I have selfish moments… I begged him… I cried out… I said, God enough is enough… I am THRILLED that you have big plans for all this… but, when is it going to be about the girls… They need us… we need out of here… God PLEASE!!! … but, as quickly as I cried that in my heart… I apologized to the Lord… I DO NOT want to be selfish… I want this to bring HIM the Glory… (more about this in a minute)

At one point I look at Phil and he’s FURIOUS.. I lean into him and tell him to relax… and that this very moment was going to help someone – somehow – sometime.. There would be someone who is reading our blog.. or reading this chapter in the book (the book I’m going to write).. and they are going to be facing a situation that seems impossible. A situation where they are facing a den of lions… Phil said.. NO a den of snakes! :) and our story of God bring victory through this will help them. They will read our story and KNOW that God still does what he says. He does still rescue, save and set free…. Phil just grinned at me.. and said.. I love you! ;)

So… at 3:45… we go in the courtroom…

Svetlana presents the new documents.. she looks them over and the ?’s begin… Over and over and over…

She doesn’t understand the forms… we all explain… she finally moves on to the Dr’s.. there are 4 Dr’s here as witnesses.. they completely redid the entire medical exam and made ALL new documents for her. EVERYONE is jumping through hurdles. The Dr’s all testify to the DYNAMIC changes in the twins since the first of Nov… (BINGO..their Mama and Papa met them for the first time on Nov. 4th) HELLO!!!

The Dr’s say that EVERYONE can see a huge change in them since Nov.. and that they all feel it would be best for the twins to continue in our care.. etc. etc..

They were 100 % supportive.. and honestly I was surprised at what all they said about us. We had NEVER seen any of these Dr’s before… CRAZY!!!

The judge DRILLS the Dr’s about ?’s.. and gets on to them for the previous commission and the forms not being filled out and signed correctly… I tell you this judge has some power issues…

The Dr’s are then dismissed…

She then lights back into ME… :) Oh joyous day! The drilling continues.. I have NEVER in my life experienced anything quite like her.. it’s INSANE the way she asks the ?’s.. then reasks.. and it’s like she’s playing a MEAN mind-game… I have NO idea if I need to change my answers a little… or if she’s liking what she hears and seeing if I’m going to answer consistently for the 34th time.. ;)

I am fairly quick on my feet and think quickly.. and she throws me for loops.. I am not kidding. It like the most tiring thing I’ve ever EVER endured. She’ll tell me to expand on one response (that my answers aren’t elaborate enough… then the next one.. she’ll say JUST answer the ?!) (which is what I was doing.. oh my!)

She then looks through the forms for the millionth time and asks us TONS of ?’s about them… and then discovers an error in the translation. The lady who translated failed to translate the signature line on one of the new forms… It’s right there PLAIN AS DAY on the English (original – notarized and apostilled version).. but, the translator failed to put the signature line…. She sees it.. and that’s the end..

Svetlana explains that it’s a simple error.. she demands that it be fixed and she WILL NOT give a verdict today.. (we were in court for an hour and a half)

SERIOUSLY.. I am in shock… my chin (I know) hits the floor… (at this point I’m worried Phil’s going to snap… cause he’s CLOSE!)… If you could hear her ?ing… you’d be amazed at our ability to continue to answer and smile and the fact that we’ve not knocked her out of her chair backwards… (sorry… but, I’d like to… urg!)..

However… when she started saying all that… The scripture came to me that we are supposed to Pray for our enemies and those who despitefully use us (that’s my version of that scripture)… so, I started praying for the judge and asking God to bless her… The word says to pray blessings on our enemies… I want her to find the Lord… I want her to realize that Jesus Loves her so much… I prayed for her and fought back the tears as I looked her in the eye… Honestly.. it was very easy… My heart breaks that she doesn’t’ know Jesus… purely breaks for her…

Ok… so she then says tomorrow at 3:30.. and the DOE lady stands up and goes OFF on her… She says there is NO way she can be in court tomorrow… she has personal plans. She then says… just give your verdict NOW… why are you putting us all through all this? The judge says she will not give a verdict until that form is correct… and we can either have court tomorrow @ 3:30 or on the 25th @ 11:00 am… there is a roar in the room. The DOE lady continues to argue with her… and tells her it’s not fair to us, etc..

The judge then looks at her and says.. you pick.. it’s either tomorrow or the 25th… The DOE lady said ok to tomorrow.. JUST FOR US!

The judge says she will give her verdict tomorrow… and it will be a short session… Can this really be true?

Everyone (including Svetlana) feels good about tomorrow and feel she’s going to give a positive verdict…

As we were walking out of that courtroom…. I can’t even tell you the physical struggle I had within myself…. Honestly I was MAD…. WHY GOD I cried… Why can’t you just stop this… PLEASE … do you care??

I just walked down the hall away from everyone… I fought back the tears… I thought of having to post NO VERDICT again…. I thought of Bay and Brook.. My mom… our family.. all waiting… our plane tickets.. yet again (have to be changed)… I thought of it all.. and I said… Ok God.. I’m serious… I am tired.. and you said in the word.. that you wouldn’t put more on us than we could bare… and well, I feel really close to that point.. and then I said… I KNOW you are doing something here… but, I’d really like to see a little something… I know we’re planting seeds.. but, somehow, someway.. PLEASE show us that we’re doing something for you…

And then I walked out with Phil… where the group of ladies were standing BASHING The judge… I quickly thanked the DOE and gave her a HUGE tearful hug and thanked her for agreeing to tomorrow and that I was so sorry… and that I knew she did it just for us.. and we were so so so sorry, yet thankful! She was all smiles and so kind.. but, SO mad at the same time at the judge.

They are bashing her.. talking about how they’ve NEVER seen any adoption like this EVER in all their years.. and that this is the most ridiculous fight they’ve ever seen or dealt with… They kept apologizing to us and we smiled through the pain and said it was ok… we are ok! I felt led at this point to say that we realized one positive thing out of 7 court sessions.. they quickly wanted to know what.. and I told them that if not for so many court session we would not have gotten to know them so well… and thanks to that judge we had WONDERFUL life-long new friends in Pavlodar, Kazakhstan!! They were ALL smiles and agreed… and LOVED that I said it… I told them that we had LOTS of great friends to visit every time we came back to visit Kazakhstan.

They laughed and said.. wow.. you will really come back here after all you’ve been through? We said yes.. OF COURSE!!!! And I quickly felt led to share with the DOE and director of children’s services that we were making plans to come back with a group of family and friends and do something BIG for the BH here… they were IN shock..and asked what we meant… We told them a HUGE outside toy.. or something just as HUGE for the kids there… They were in shock.. even Svetlana said… are you guys really still going to do that… with all you’ve been through here? They were in shock… we quickly said yes.. and in my head.. the Lord softly spoke…” SEE… I am working… you just showed them ME!”

Let me tell you that I was about to BAWL at this point… the driver then arrived and we all get in the van (jammed in there).. and they ladies are all talking 150 miles per hour in Russian.. and Symbat looks over and says.. do you know what they are saying? They are all amazed and talking about you guys and the fact that you are going/ planning on doing something HUGE for this city/country after the way you’ve been treated… They are in shock.. and are saying what good people you are! It was INCREDIBLE!!!!

Now.. let me just share a little more.. you see I didn’t want to keep trusting God.. I REALLY wanted to kick and scream and throw a HUGE fit…. Cause to me.. I’d put in the time.. it has been a LONG HARD road… we are tired, broke and completely exhausted… but, I wouldn’t change ONE single thing of this journey….

You see.. I said long ago to the Lord.. back when the ‘waiting’ was killing me.. back when there was NO news from our agency… back when others were traveling and bringing their babies home… back when my heart was breaking because my child(ren) were in an orphanage and I was STUCK in Oklahoma doing fundraiser after fundraiser after fundraiser…. I told the Lord in one of my fits that I wanted HIM to get all the Glory.. and that I wanted this very journey to GLORIFY him in Magnificent ways…

… I am so proud to be able to say that I am glad the judge didn’t give her verdict today… or last week.. or last year (ha ha 2010!)…. Because one person’s life is worth some pain… one person’s soul is worth some sacrifice…

Yes.. my flesh wants it to end.. and I miss Bay and Brook so much I think I feel physical pain.. and I DREAM of the day that I can sign Faith and Grace out of that DREADFUL orphanage forever…. However, I do not want to miss what our Lord is doing… because HIS plans are incredible!

I am so thankful for all our your amazing messages… you are sending such sweet comments and things.. and saying that our faith is admirable… PLEASE don’t admire it… PLEASE be motivated to know God deeper…. PLEASE stop what you are doing right now… and cling to him a little more..

He so desires to be EVERYTHING to us.. and yet we put him last most times in our lives… I’ve seen on FB that most of America seems to be having a snow day… It looks like most everyone I know is home today.. (unexpectedly)… You know what.. that’s NOT the case..

God orchestrated YOU being exactly where you are at this EXACT moment reading my blog about HIS greatness.. He knew you’d read the challenge I issued to you… TO CLING TO HIM… to experience him in a way you have never before…

Yes.. I know it’s scary to COMPLETELY sell out to him… and YES, I know that some people will think you are a fool… (Believe me I know.. I get the comments and I get the negativity – and close family and friends just don’t comment)…. But, you know what…

There really is NOTHING else to live for…. I mean really… He gave IT ALL for us.. and he’s the real reason we are all even alive… He designed us to worship HIM.. he molded us in HIS image!

Find some time today – TAKE some time today and seek him… Read the word.. INGEST more of him! He’s right there waiting on you.. gently calling YOUR name…

Join me today as we celebrate him.. and HIS amazing GREATNESS!

Oh.. and court is tomorrow @ 3:30… and she’s gonna say YES!!!  … and everyone is GOING to know exactly what our Lord did for us!!!!

… and I DELCARE the Lord’s Glory here in Pavlodar, Kazakhstan!!!

Jan 18, 2011 - Update

2011-01-18T05:36:00.000-06:00

There's nothing really new to report or note today... it's VERY cold...   (big surprise, I know!)... I snowed a little (about an inch) overnight... and that has again left everything with a new coat of white.   I can't help but feel sorry for the street workers here though... they work for hours with shovels and remove the snow by hand... only for a couple days to go by and it snows again.. thus they start all over.    I know they are used to it.. but, I can't help but feel bad for them...and honestly for more reasons than that.    Just remember today to not take your freedoms for granted.    Take a moment and thank the Lord for the ability to even know him.... wow... we have so much to be thankful for..
Phil and I are trying to continue to cling to the word.... rest, relax and enjoy the last few days of this time here in Kazakhstan...

We arrived at the BH today to find out that Grace had face planted the floor this morning while RUNNING to breakfast.   Notice her nose in the pictures... bloody, cut and bruised.... oh Grace! ;)
Here are some pictures from this morning:

(Well.. after about an hour of attempting to upload these pics... I am giving up.. sorry!   Internet is still really acting strange... can't access blogspot AT ALL via apartment internet... so I have walked to hotel lobby to upload these.. can't even get it to work here @ the hotel.. oh well!)

We had a good day with the twins...   Papa took his MP3 player and they LOVED sitting in his lap listening to Praise and worship music (;))      One of their favorite new things to do is to tell me they have sugars behind their ears and have me looks... which of course ends in LOTS of giggles and kisses as we make sure to get all the sugar off and from behind their ears.
I know I say it everyday... but, they are so different...    They look at us differently... their smiles are different!
Faith threw a HUGE fit today and DID NOT want her Papa to leave her... The caregiver finally PULLED her off him and held her... ;(    so so so sad and hard to keep leaving them there.

I keep thinking that soon I'll post about orphanage life and some of the things we've seen and witnessed...   however, everyday I can't bring myself to type it out.... you see... it's hard to keep leaving MY babies there...    Thank you Lord for protecting them...

I guess I'll sign-off... Please say a prayer tonight that our paperwork is almost here... expected arrival was Wed. (tomorrow).... and we're praying and trusting that there were/are NO delays.
Court is Thursday @ 3 PM... Jan. 20th...    (that's 3am Thursday morning for most of you...)
Thanks for the overwhelming prayers and support we've seen and felt...
We are so blessed by all of you...

I decided to try one more time before posting this... and this ~~one~~ picture uploaded:

This is the Dr was has been F and G's Dr since they were 3 months old. She has been very kind to us and was the one who testified for us so STRONGLY in court. I asked her about taking a picture with the twins today.. and look at that.. they sit right down and smiled PERFECTLY! humm... why is it that when we want them to do this.... they go CRAZ?! ;)

(Faith): I think that smile says: "I sure like this music"... :)

Jammin' with Papa... life is GRAND! (notice Grace's nose... OUCH!)

Notice Grace... she just relaxed as she listened and leaned on Papa... (it has to do with what they are listening too.. :))

Oh my.. this is a metaphor of life in the future with 4 girls!! ha ha!!! Dishing out tenge (money)! Played again with it for a long time... so sweet! They are now counting to 5 in English... thanks to counting and recounting the tenge! :)

Faith with the ever so faithful cards from Bay, Brook, and Nana... these cards are CHERISHED by both twins... and they play with them and read them and talk about them.... sure can't wait till our 4 girls and Nana meet in person! ;) What a grand day it will be!

Nothing more to say than: SUGAR! Grace was cheering me on to get Faith's sugar... ;)

...and then Grace is QUICK to say that she's sure that she has some behind her ear as well... Faith's helping me look... YEP.. you guessed it.. she did! Do you know how bad it is to leave sugar behind ears? ...it's BAD... very bad!!!

...and we ended the time back in Papa's arm... listening to some sweet tunes with Papa! Notice Phil's hair? He's lost so much hair since Oct.. seriously.. he has! Bless his heart!

Jan. 16, 2010 - Update

2011-01-17T07:24:00.000-06:00

I've had 3 different friends send me Psalms 37... I think it's a sign that Psalms 37 is for us!   It's so true and has been such an encouragement to us today...
I am including a link to a church website that one of our dear adoption families attend.. they sent us the link and I wanted to share with you...
I think it will encourage you as it did me today..
To see the sermon notes on Psalms 37 from Cornerstone Community Church's blog click here!  Get out your bible and read the scriptures... I just know that God has something for YOU in this passage as well!!

Here are some pictures from today:

This is one of the girls FAVORITE things to do... blow raspberries on each others belly's!! Fun times!! They crack up and really laugh!! Papa was telling Grace to get ready her turn is coming.. she was CRACKING up.. and quickly laid down for her 'tickles'!!!

Here we are looking at our tenge (money). Grace discovered one tenge (less than one penny) in my coat pocket on Sat. right before we left. I let her put it in her little purse... you would have thought I'd given her a new toy. As you guessed, Faith wanted one too... so they both put one tenge in their little purses and we left. :) They went straight to the bag of toys today.. found their purses and made sure they still had their money. They played with the coins the ENTIRE time... They ended up with 4 coins each (yeah.. we're softies).... Here we are just playing with our money... Telling girl secrets! ;) As you can see Grace is SO proud of her money!

I had to include this one.. cause this is the.. "I'm so stinking cute and sly... and I already know how to work these people look".. from Faith... my goodness she's SO ornery!

Here we're just all smiling... :) We sat in this corner and whispered and played with those purses and those 8 coins for a LONG time! :)

HA HA HA... I still can't believe I am posting this and not deleting it immediately... hee hee! This is how we feel sometimes... WOW.. seriously.. we have 4 daughters... LOL!!! Better not let that judge see this one... oh wait.. maybe she's to play in why we have those looks... ;) Thought everyone would enjoy this... so I posted it... see I have a sense of humor! ;)

Ahhh... much better.. except that Faith had dropped one of her tenge.. you can't have everything right?! You would crack up if you saw how many takes we have on this picture... I think this will be the story of my life.. will we ever all 6 look at the camera and smile together... I sure hope so.. but, I have my doubts!! ;) However, I'll take all 6 in front of the camera.. smiles, crying or screaming!!! :) (remind me later that I said this.. ha ha)

another one I just had to include...these are the same babies that back in Nov. did not even know how to hug.. they were LIFELESS and limp... do you see the hugs we get back now?? do you see their arms? if you could feel them... and see the kisses and love.. oh man.. Thank you Lord for Faith and Grace... We are so blessed by them!

Another example of how far we've came.. back in Nov... there was NO way that we were going to all sit down together and attend to ANY task for more than about 10 seconds.... Now.. they will both attend to tasks with us for as long as we want them to... It's absolutely incredible. My brain is AMAZED... my heart knew it all along.. but, my brain wondered.... You would never believe the difference between Nov. and NOW.. it's absolutely mind boggling...

Here Papa is showing the girls how to spin their coins on the floor... such a simple thing.. but, we played together with those coins for over an hour! Back in Nov... we CHASED them the entire time and pulled them down off the ceiling... when we'd leave we were exhausted... but, as you can see... now Phil and I just lay around and play! ;) ha ha!!!

Well... I guess that's it for today...
Go check out that blog I linked at the top.. and study those scriptures... it sure blessed me! I know it will you as well!!!
Have a wonderful Monday and Thanks over and over and over again for the love, support and prayers... only a few more days until F and G are officially ours... Thursday has to be the day!!!
Keep praying... and praising our Jesus for what He has done!!!

Sunday Jan. 16, 2011 - Update

2011-01-16T07:04:00.000-06:00

Well.. It’s Sunday evening for us.. (Sunday EARLY morning for most of you.) I debated about even posting to the blog tonight… but, decided that hopefully my honest writings and what we are going through will speak to someone’s heart today…. And if just one person is encouraged to hang on for the Lord.. well, it’s more than worth it.

You see.. honestly… it’s been a VERY hard day for both of us.. Phil’s been down and I’ve fought being down all day as well. This normally isn’t the case… usually when one of us is down the other is up.. therefore an encourager.. but, NOT today… whew!

I honestly don’t even know what I’m going to say.. but, just prayed and asked the Lord to just type for me…

The down/negative feelings started yesterday afternoon… you see I think it was/is because we had a LONG stretch with virtually NOTHING to do. We did not get to go see F and G today (Sunday)… so from 11 am on Sat.. until 9:20 on Monday (when they pick us up)… we have basically nothing to do… It’s bitter cold… therefore walking far at all is not desirable… we’ve watched every movie we brought several times… we’ve hung in there for a couple months now..and made the best of being ‘stuck’ here… but, this stretch has been the hardest yet for us… (we are torn between missing home (Bay and Brook) so much... and NOT wanting to leave F and G either)

HUGE SIGH… now… you see I have recognized all along that this feeling of doom hanging over our heads was totally and completely the enemy… and I have quoted those scriptures that the Lord has given me out loud and over this situation… I’ve taken authority over it and KNOW that God is bigger…. And KNOW that he is and will prevail!!!!

…I just wanted to share a bit of my internal struggles.. you see I think that as Christians we often HIDE behind what is really going on in our hearts and lives.. We want others to see us as having it all together.. we hide behind our masks (Marriage encounter couples… can I hear an AMEN! ;)) If we would be more transparent with each other… we could help each other through the struggles we face in life.

You see…. I know what my mask is.. and I’m trying so hard to not hide behind my mask of “valdicotian – head of the class – perfectionism” and be totally true to myself and all of you… If I can shatter my mask and share from my heart with you…(become more transparent) maybe some of you can take your mask off and stop hiding behind it as well… You know it’s when we really take those masks OFF… (ALL THE WAY OFF) that God can really use us…

You see the enemy knows exactly what you are going through… he knows the EXACT person, thing or situation in your life that will cause you to really question it all…. He has your number… your ticket… your WEAKNESS.. and he will use that to his best to destroy you….

For me… it’s been tiny whisperings of things like…. What in the world were you thinking? You’ve deserted Bay and Brook for this… why do YOU think you can parent 4 children.. maybe that judge is correct… maybe you aren’t cut out for this.. maybe you can’t afford to raise 4 children…

And then.. the real things start hitting me…. Like… yeah.. you look like a fool… how do you think you are going to finish this.. you know how much money you have…. You are going to have to fly back over here again.. you have another round of monthly bills about to be due… you ARE going to need to feed your children… and on and on and on….

Now.. you see the reason I am bombarded with these negative thoughts is because this is MY weakness…. I will just admit it…. I am sort of a controller… I like things MY WAY. I am a planner… I figure out a solution and I stick to the task until it’s completed…

And the enemy knows this… however, there’s NO solution to be had (in my fleshly thoughts/mind) when you are not and have not made any income since Oct… there is NO income coming in… and you are paying money daily for apartment rent, driver fees and translator… your bills at home are still happening every single month…. and you have spent THOUSANDS more than expected and still no positive verdict in court…

And there is no solution or way that I can control or change the situation with the judge… it’s beyond my control.. for the last 3 years I’ve had NO control… (during this adoption).. there was NOTHING I could do to speed it up, slow it down… or change anything… I have had to totally lean on the Lord… it’s HARD.. let me tell you HARD!

You see the enemy knows that if he can get my mind to start thinking about all those details… I will get my focus off the Lord….. of the promises that he’s given me…. And I will begin to worry… and then HE WILL HAVE ME!

The same is true in your situation… I know I keep saying this… but, I guess myself (I'm SURE it's me) or someone else needs to hear it again… we are faced with a choice.. I had a choice today. I could have listened to all those thoughts… I could have harbored on them… and continued to try to ‘figure’ out a way… but, I CHOOSE to again PROCLAIM the word over this situation the ENTIRE thing.. and TRUST MY GOD!

The bible is FULL of promises that apply to ANY situation you are facing… Just look… they are there.

The scripture that stuck out to me today was:

TRUST in the Lord with all your heart

And lean not on your own understand;

In all ways acknowledge him

And HE will make your paths straight!

Proverbs 3:5-6

It says to "trust in the Lord"… what does trust mean?

Trust means to have “complete confidence in a person or plan”….

Wow! Not ½ way.. some of the time confidence… NOT have confidence when things look and feel good.. but, COMPLETE confidence in HIM all the time!!!

So… we should have complete confidence in Him with ALL our heart!

Then is says… “and lean not to your OWN understanding..”

WOW. This. Was. Just. For. Me! I don’t understand… I don’t understand why things are and have happened the way they have… and I’m quite sure there are things happening in your life/world that you don’t understand.. PERIOD! The word says we don’t need to understand it.. just TRUST The Lord…

In all ways acknowledge him.. and HE will make your paths straight!

Now.. did you hear the last part…. It’s a PROMISE!!! It doesn’t say, “he’ll think about it” it says, “AND HE WILL MAKE YOUR PATHS STRAIGHT!!!!”

So… is there really a reason for a downtrodden face or a feeling of overwhelming defeat.. NO!

As I was typing that last sentence the thought came to me that someone would read that and say in their mind… but, Lanetta…. You don’t know what my situation is.. you just don’t know..

Let me tell you this… In Luke 18:27 Jesus himself (in RED letters :) said): “What is impossible with men is possible with God!”

No matter how impossible it feels or looks or seems… OUR God is bigger… He’s bigger than any mountain you might face (there’s a whole entire different passage I could write about!)… I won’t.. I will stop.. but, I could go on and on and on..

Our God is bigger than a judge, some paperwork or a country… and what he says WILL COME TO PASS!

He is still the same God who changed the water into wine in the bible… he healed the leapers, he walked on water, he fed the multitudes with virtually nothing… he’s the SAME GOD… he DOES not and will not Change.. the Word says… He’s the same yesterday, today and FOREVER!!!

We are the ones who limit him… we choose (wow.. there’s that word again) to live life and exclude him… (and we all really do this)… none of us are truly living in his complete fullness…

Lord,
Help us ALL to be more like you..

I desire for you to radiate out of me, Phil, my 4 girls.. Lord.. I want our lives to be what you’d have them to be… Father I pray that we can become more like you every single day!!! Help us Lord to focus on you.. help all of us Father to ingest you… so that we can RADIATE you to those around us. Help us Father..and everyone reading this today to draw closer to you… I ask that you would move in hearts and lives today.. Lord, we do want more of you.. we desire to be just like you.. Heavenly Father show us the way.. guide us and lead us…. We put our hands in yours and give you the lead… Thank you precious Father for your peace, mercy and grace… You are my rock… and to you I cling!

~Amen

(I promise to post more about Faith and Grace tomorrow.. :))I have a very honest post about orphanage life brewing… it’s sad.. it’s heartbreaking.. but, someone who’s seen it on the inside needs to share… PLEASE pray for every single child tonight who is living in an institution… it’s NOT where those precious babies are supposed to be.)

Court Sessions 4 and 5!

2011-01-14T04:46:00.001-06:00

Just a warning that before you even start reading this that this will most likely be a LONG post. We still have limited/no internet in the apartment… I am typing this in a word document and will go the hotel lobby later and post it to the blog!!

HUGE SIGH!!!!

Where do I start.. ok..
(I apologize in advance for jumping around so much…. Lots on my mind and LOTS to say!)

Yesterday morning they picked us up at 10:30 and we went straight to the notary’s office here. Svetlana made an additional form for the judge hoping to please her regarding our income. The forms we are required to give…. Show the average household salary in the state of Oklahoma. The judge DOES NOT understand or choose to believe us regarding the forms.. and she has it in her head that you take this amount and multiply it times 6.. (for a family of 6)… and we HAVE to make above that amount. This would mean that we make an annual salary 6X’s the average salary in Oklahoma… Let’s just say that’s it’s safe to say that we do not… ;) Hence the problem. She DOES not understand the form… or what it means… URG!!!
… so Svetlana provided another form with a chart… showing the average salary for a family of 6… and she now has it in her head that we make $1500 per year LESS than the poverty level for a family of 6 in Oklahoma… (which again is insane…. She doesn’t understand the forms)
Sorry.. I got ahead of myself there..
Ok… so we get the ‘new’ form.. and head to court. When we arrive at the courtroom the bh director is not there.. and it’s 11:15… (15 min. late)… Svetlana calls her and learns that the judge called the director 15 minutes before court started and said if she doesn’t bring one of the Dr’s that are on the twin’s Commission (group of Dr’s) to court.. she will not rule in our favor… or postpone court once again. So Baghdad (director) is busting her rear to find a Dr who is available in 15 minutes to come to court for us… These are the INSANE sort of things that she is doing and requiring…. Absolutely INSANE! (Svetlana also said that this is only the 2nd adoption case that this judge has EVER had...)

The Judge then calls our names and court begins @ around 11:30… BH director is NOT there… and the judge is upset.. but, allows us to start and she arrives (with a Dr) at about 11:45.. WHEW!!!!
The judge calls the Dr to the stand… and RIPS her a new one. There are these issues with the latest medical evaluation that was completed and the judge is being SUPER picky about the forms and says that they were not completed properly… etc.. and threatens to shred them all… The Dr. was an idiot… I am not kidding - a pitiful excuse for a Dr… she didn’t even know what to say regarding the evaluation that was completed and honestly… I can’t blame the judge for not accepting her witness as true. It was the most INSANE we’ve ever seen.
The judge jumps from the financial forms and DRILLING us about them.. to the medical forms.. to the other ladies in the room… She asks us all the SAME questions over and over and over.. at one point… she was asking me for the 4th time why I would choose to sacrifice my attention of my biological girls and share that attention with these two girls.. I just started bawling… she told me to not be so nervous and emotional and stop crying! NICE!!! I apologized and said it was my daughters we were talking about – ALL 4 of them! Svetlana later said that she was proud of me showing emotion… it showed her that we really do LOVE the twins…
I can’t even explain or type out how she raked us over the coals time and time and time again. She continued to ask the same ?’s over and over and over… and as soon as we felt like she was ok with an answer… she would find a new thing to drill someone about.
We could NOT get her to understand about the income. She has it in her head that we make BELOW the poverty line… We explained time and time again.. that this was the average salary… and that it was for an entire family NOT one person…and that you don’t multiply it times 6. URG… she NEVER understood (or choose not to)…
Keep in mind that we are average middle class… we don’t make a lot.. but, enough to support a family of 6. What is crazy is that the average salary here is $400 per month… we make a little more than that… sigh….
After 2 hours and 15 minutes of fun.. she decided to recess and give the director a chance to get a surgeon to come at 3:30 to speak as a witness…. This is all regarding the medical forms/issues that she has. This all has NOTHING to do with us. However, is one of her biggest issues as well.
We wait and go back at 3:30… and the same thing all goes on again and again.. more ?’s about income… attempting to explain that she’s not understanding the chart correctly.. etc.. the other women in the room try to help her understand as well.. NOPE.. she will NOT budge… she says that she will give us a chance to show her with additional forms…. And postpone the date until Jan. 20th… giving us a chance to get forms proving what we “say”… This being that we are not at poverty level… and that we do make well above the average salary for a family of 6.
She repeatedly asked us if we knew about the 'bad' adoptions of Americans in Russia... and about the woman from TN that sent her son 'back'! She grilled us the last 3 sessions about this and what will we do when we decide we don't want F and G... how can we be certain that is not going to happen... NO matter what we answer or what we say she comes back with something... URG!
Numerous questions about our bio. daughters being jealous... and having to give up their lifestyle for F and G... it just goes on and on and on....

So… we left about over 4 hours total of grueling questions and attacks…

My description doesn’t really do it justice.. to be honest.. it’s hard to even explain it all…. And I’m so emotionally drained. Everyone who walked out of the courtroom was DRAINED. The DOE, BH director, Dr’s, prosecutor and everyone who is involved continually told us how sorry they were… and hugged us and just kept expressing how sorry they were they she doesn’t understand the form about our income and that she is being SO awful to us… They all spoke up for us repeatedly and said that they have told her that they 100% support a positive decision from her regarding us and the twins. They continue to tell us to just get the forms she wants… and show her… and she will grant us the twins. They keep encouraging us saying they just know it will happen… and that the twins were meant to be ours.. 
We just know this too..
The forms have been created, updated, notarized and apostilled and are on their way to us… thanks to Janet, my mom, my brother, and our social worker in Oklahoma!
However, it takes 5 days to get a package… and Thursday (the day of court) is the 5th day… PLEASE pray the forms make it… PLEASE…. Svetlana does have the scanned forms….so she’s saying we can get them translated and ready to go with the scanned ones… Just pray the originals make it by Wednesday!
As all this was happening… I just repeatedly thanked the Lord for what he was doing through all this…and promised him that I would indeed shout it from the rooftops when this was completed… and that I trusted him!
You see… It hurts… my heart is breaking inside… I got an email from my mom telling us of her telling Bailey and Brooklyn… there were TEARS and as you can imagine heartache… You see we’ve been gone from home since Oct. 20th… away from Bailey and Brooklyn…. We were home with them for 13 days (in December)…. It will be a little over 3 months soon… that’s a long time…. And they are so ready for this to end as well..
Brooklyn said to my mom through tears.. “Nana, why can’t that judge just let us have our Mama and Daddy and sissys home NOW!” yeah… sobbingly heartbreaking… HUGE sigh!!
I just continue to remind myself through my sobs and tears that God knows and knew that he’s already blessed us with Bay and Brook when he spoke to us and orchestrated this very journey. He knows all things and he wouldn’t have placed us on this journey and abandoned my precious oldest 2…

So… back to yesterday.. we got back to the apartment about 5:30-5:45 pm… It was a LONG day. We had to get our flights changed, contact agency, family, employers about updates.. and get the ball rolling with LOTS of things… there was NO internet in the apartment…. Really? Can we catch a single break here?

I couldn’t make myself start the process of chain of events of getting online etc.. and walking down there right away… plus, I really needed to let off some emotions…. So those who know me know what I did… I started unpacking our suitcases… we had packed up the entire apartment because we were supposed to leave @ 6:20 last night… As I am taking everything out of the suitcases the tears start and I have a good bawl…. Phil and I cry together and encourage each other. We got our bible and asked the Lord to show us something to cling to…

Phil’s bible fell open to the follow passage:

“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his might power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your wait with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this , take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and request. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.

Ephesians 6: 11-18

Wow! As I started reading this outloud to Phil.. I just bawled… there are SO SO SO many nuggets of GREATNESS in this for us (where we are today) and for all of you reading this.

Please know that I realize and know that most of you reading our blog and keeping up with our journey are facing things in your daily lives/walk with God that you are struggling with. We all do… and no matter how little the things you are struggling with seem to you compared to others… KNOW that God does not see it that way… he is just as concerned about what you are facing as what I or anyone else is facing…
Let me share some of the things the Lord pointed out to me in these scriptures…
First thing was his confirmation that we indeed are not fighting a fleshly battle here…. This is not a battle with the judge… this is a spiritual battle of good verses evil. The first part says to “be strong in the Lord and HIS might”.. in other words… when you feel like you can’t stand anymore… No worries.. God didn’t ask you or me to stand…. He said to STAND IN HIM… ;) Next he tells us to “put of the FULL armor of God”… meaning get prepared.. be prayed up… have the word stored away on the tablets of our hearts.. be ingesting God… everywhere you turn put more of him in YOUR Life.. through music, reading, listening to others, reading books, the word, etc…
Then it says, “When you have done EVERYTHING.. KEEP STANDING!”.. WHEW!! That was JUST for me… I have done everything I knew to do… for the past 3 years… trusted God, tried to put on the armor of God daily (I could have done so much more… but, I’ve tried)…. And you know what… God says here…. KEEP STANDING… KEEP SMILING, my child…. VICTORY IS MINE and it’s ON the way!!! Thank you JESUS!!!
Then it goes on to say, “and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace”…. Wow…. Our feet fitted with the readiness of PEACE! Peace… No fretting… no worring… no crying, screaming or fit throwing… peace that you TRUST him… Peace that you KNOW He has it all under control… PEACE.. Sweet wonderful perfect Peace that comes straight from the thrown of GRACE!!!! I think there’s something to learn from “our feet fitted”…. Not just half-way thrown on flip flop kind of peace… but, serious WINTER shoes that fit YOU…. FITTED peace… Peace that regardless of what is thrown at you… or who attacks you… or what is said…. You DO NOT waiver in KNOWING that God is in control… Peace that SURPASSES all understanding!!!! Lord, Help us ALL get enveloped that kind of peace!

I then went on to read this:

Pray also for me, that whenever I open my mouth, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should.

Ephesians 6: 19 – 20

This is exactly how I feel here…. I want to share with this dark place… (yet wonderful people) about the Lord… however, feel like an ambassador in chains…. And feel like an ambassador in chains regarding the court processes as well… This is my prayer…. Just as Paul prayed from prison…

The commentary in Phil’s bible says the following about this scripture:
“Undiscouraged and undefeated, Paul wrote powerful letters of encouragement from prison. Paul did not ask the Ephesians to pray that his chains would be removed, but that he would continue to speak fearlessly for Christ in spite of them.”

As I read this and thought about it… I realized that instead of begging God to deliver us from this… and to end this soon…. We should be praying… Lord let this very journey conclude when YOUR will has been completed. I think we often times BEG God to deliver us from things that he is trying to use for his Glory.
Now… don’t get me wrong… I’ve know that he was using our story/adoption/journey for his glory… but, don’t want to get so selfish in my own ‘wants’ that we miss an opportunity for God to SHINE through in Greatness!!!!
As I was sharing all this with Phil and we were discussing all this etc… we talked about how we had made SUCH connections with ALL the ladies involved in our case. I will look up and one of them will catch my eye and smile gently…. Trying to reassure me that it will all be ok… I just trust God and know that he’s up to something here…. ;)
If we hadn’t been to court 5 times for hours… we would NOT have made such connections with them… and they all keep saying they’ve NEVER seen anything like this…. Our family… F and G will FOREVER be remembered in their hearts and minds… and hopefully… I pray and cry to God that this is true.. they are seeing Jesus in us! I pray that this judge is as well…. She must be seeing something she likes in us… she keeps making us come back and back and back.. ha ha!!!
All these ladies have made us promise we’ll send pics of the girls and our family… and I just know that we’ll forever be in contact with them…  Jesus shining through us for years…
F and G have NO idea the impact they are making on so many people…
They are changing so much it’s incredible. Grace doesn’t even smile the same as before. She looks for us when she wants to show us something and is making appropriate eye contact…
They remember EVERYTHING we teach them… I’ve been teaching them body parts… and they are quick to tell me the English word and show the body part the next day!
INCREDIBLE!!!! I just held them today and cried…. I don’t know how to explain my emotions except that we feel like we are the blessed ones… to have the opportunity to love these two babies as our own… wow… we are so humbled and honored.

I got a little off track there… but, let me go back… I got up this morning to check online on the documents and with the travel agent to ensure that our flights had been successfully changed etc.. and still No internet in apartment… so I bundled up and walked to Hotel down the street. We had so many messages and sweet comments, emails, etc… from all of you. Thank you… you will never know how much it helps and how great it feels to read just the simplest comment of praying… we enjoy hearing from everyone so much…

I was reminded of the lyrics to one of my favorite praise and worship songs….
I'm pressed but not crushed persecuted not abandoned
Struck down but not destroyed
I'm blessed beyond the curse for his promise will endure
And his joy's gonna be my strength

So.. I of course had to go to You Tube and listen…. TEARS streamed down my face in the Hotel lobby as I felt our savior trading out my sorrows…. Take a few minutes and praise him with me:
(remember you have to pause the music on the blog at the bottom)

Did you notice the small font at the bottom of one of the screens? Yeah… isn’t that JUST like the Lord… ;)

I ~~happen to~~ click on this video to watch (out of the thousands of this song on You tube)… and there is the following scripture:

When my heart is overwhelmed.

Lead me to the ROCK that is higher than I.

You’re my refuge and a tower of strength against the enemy.

Psalm 61: 1-3

INCREDIBLE and JUST LIKE OUR GOD!!!!

No matter what you are facing today… Please join us in trusting God… His word does NOT return void and if you allow him… He will use the very situation you are in RIGHT now.. for HIS Glory!!

Dear Lord…
I pray right now for everyone reading this blog… I ask that you’re amazing presence fill the room where they are sitting and that they will feel you and know you are with them and alive and well! Lord, grant them the desires of their hearts… heal whatever thing they need healing from… Lord move in their lives in ways they would have NEVER ever dreamed you even could…. Father, Your word says that we are MORE than overcomers in YOU!!! We are standing in your word today… TRUSTING you… help us all Father to put on the WHOLE armor of God… like your word says to do.. so that we can stand against the enemy… Thank you Lord for defeating him for us.. now all we have to do is claim that victory in YOU!!!!

We are amazed by you… and in total and complete surrender to your divine plan and purpose for our lives… Dear Lord… I thank you for your amazing grace and mercy… and I thank you for what you are doing in all our lives!

We love you Lord and we give you all the praise and glory forever!

~Amen

Jan. 12, 2010 - Part 2 - Trip to the Village!

2011-01-12T11:10:00.000-06:00

We went to the village at around 4 pm this evening... We had a GREAT time!
Here are some pictures:

This is Symbat's daugher Lenar... She's a doll and I was thrilled to get to meet her!

Symbat has been teasing us for months... saying that we HAVE to try horse meat while we are here... it's Kazak's national meat.. etc.. Phil finally caved and told her we'd have a CELEBRATION dinner on the night we got a positive verdict for court.. and he'd order and try horse! Guess what... Symbat's mom pulled out all the stops in 'impressing' us and made a traditional Kazak meal of Horse meat and noodles... YES... Symbat was dying laughing... but, we were happy to try it!

Here is the horse dish!

Here we are at their table. From left to right: Symbat's mom, Symbat's ex-Mother-in-law, Phil, Me, Gernadi and Symbat.

I took this picture as we were arriving at the village.

The outside of their home.

Playing with Lenar...Symbat's daughter.

Symbat and Lenar... She's so CUTE!

Symbat snapped this as I'm trying my first BITE of horse... she thought it was SO funny... she's such a goofball! It wasn't as bad as I suspected... however, it's more of a mental thing... knowing you are eating horse! yummy! ;(

I included this picture... because it shows more of the 'real' time we had. Everyone is smiling and laughing... we had a wonderful time!

Symbat's family was so kind and opened their home to us.... we felt so welcome and they shared with us about their family as well as their beliefs as well.    We feel very honored that we were welcomed into their home... and feel like we now have a family here in Kazakhstan!

We did find out a bit of good news tonight as well...
There is a non-published flight tomorrow evening to Almaty.... so WHEN the judge gives us the positive verdict tomorrow... we will still be able to catch all our flights as our original itinerary states.   This is good news... We will not have to pay the fees for changing, etc... and we will be able to make it to Bay's games on Saturday..... (if we have NO delays or cancellations on the way home!)...

This brings up another point... I hesitate in even posting this... but, I've had several people ask what they can do to help us... what do we need?      I have had a couple of CLOSE friends tell me that I MUST post about our jobs etc.... so... I am going to post about this.
I have been off work with NO pay since we left on Oct. 21st.... I had 3 personal days that I used for the first 3 days, but, since then I have not received ANY pay in ANYWAY... in fact I've also had to pay for my medical insurance... so in addition to receiving NO pay... we've had to pay for medical insurance.

Phil had 2 weeks of vacation that he had saved for this year.    He was able to use those... so the first 2 weeks of this journey were paid vacation for him.    He then also switched over to "unpaid leave" from his job.     We have also had to pay his medical insurance while receiving no pay.
Now... I just want to say that we are BOTH so very blessed to have been able to take off - take leaves like we have been with our jobs.   Our employers have both been exceptionally wonderful with all the unknowns and ups and downs that we've faced.
We were home for 13 days in Dec... and Phil worked EVERYDAY he could while we were home (he was able to work 4 days).   Unfortunately we were out of school while I was home.. so again I still did not return to work.    We came back on Jan. 2nd...   Phil earned an additional 2 weeks vacation at the first of the year.. and his employment was kind enough to allow him to use that 2 weeks immediately.... so 2 weeks of this trip he has been paid.

I just want to say that given all the above... we are doing very well.   God has provided EVERY penny we've needed so far.. and we know HE will continue to do so!
It's truly amazing when you look back at where we started and what God has provided.    He is so so so FAITHFUL and we KNOW He has a plan and He knows the exact answer to all the ?'s.... finances to the judge to EVERYTHING!
I've had some people ask and I just wanted to let anyone who was wondering know that Lifesong (tax deductable) is still accepting donations on our behalf and will until we bring the girls home.
We continue to trust God and watch as he provides for our little family!
We are honored to be at this place.... in his will... and humbled by his AWESOME sovereign plan for us as well as his PRECIOUS children!

I better sign-off and get to packing... so sad to leave Faith and Grace tomorrow... but, also ready to KNOW they are ours... Court in exacltly 12 hours...
Please keep the prayers coming...     we are so humbled by the comments, emails, love and support... we feel it... THOUSANDS of miles away... thank you SO SO SO very much!!!
The One who calls you is FAITHFUL and HE WILL DO IT!!!!!   1 Thes 5:24
AMEN!!!

Jan 12, 2010 - update and pics - Part 1

2011-01-12T03:45:00.000-06:00

Hello to everyone today... sorry for the bummer of a post yesterday. :(    We are doing much better today and continue to know and trust that the Lord continues to know the best in all things... and His word DOES not return void.
Thanks for the positive comments, thoughts, emails, FB comments, FB posts, FB messages and prayers.... we are so blessed and encouraged by the continued support and love we've received from all of you!
PLEASE keep them coming.. and PLEASE keep praying!!!

You can so relate this situation to anything you might be facing in life... we are once again given a choice.... we have to decide what we are going to do... Are we going to fuss and complain and get mad and upset... or are we going to continue to walk in the FAITH that our Lord calls us to walk in... He says to have FAITH and HE will see things through to the end... The bible is FILLED with scriptures to stand on... and that's why we have His word.. to claim, to remind ourselves.... and HIM... in times like this...
We also realize that we are not fighting against fleshly things here...but, there is a spiritual warfare going on... and we are claiming and rejoicing because our Lord already defeated that very enemy.... we just have to (as Christians) walk in the power that he's given us!     We are claiming the word and the promises that he's given ALL of us to stand on.... and are encouraging each other that HIS plan is far greater than ours! :)

SO... I woke up this morning... with a smile and a song... and just KNOW that all things will work out for GOOD!    ;)
I realized last night that tomorrow is Phil's mom's birthday...   She passed away 3 1/2 years ago.. and knew nothing of our adoption.    She would be HONORED that the girls became ours on her birthday!   She prayed for years for Granddaughters..... and I told Phil the night we met the twins that his Mother had a hand in this... ;)

Here are some pictures from the last few days...
The girls are still sick.. but, seemed to be a little better today!

Lots of lovin' happening... it's like they can sense our leaving them again soon... mixed with our sadness, anxiety... and them both being sick... it's like they LOVE the love.. and we LOVE giving it out!

so.... I have been thinking and stating things I'm thankful for all day to Phil... and positive things that are happening.. etc.. This morning 'would' have been our last visit to F and G this trip... cause we were supposed to leave tomorrow... so we get to see them at least a day or two more.. that's a plus!

It snowed all day yesterday.... it was BITTER cold and blizzard like... you could only see a few feet in front of you etc.... BLOWING snow... very very cold! Phil and I are guessing it snowed probably 6 more inches total. Keep in mind there was probably about 6-8 inches already on the ground. You can imagine the snow now... and it's beautiful. The sun is shining today... and glistening... we enjoyed a yummy lunch at Krendal's and then walked back to the apartment... and I took the following pictures... and YES.. it's COLDER than it even looks... BRRRRR!!!!! ... another thing I'm thankful for.. seeing God's amazing work and this beautiful winter in Kazakhstan!

One of the streets on the way back to the apartment...

A fun (COLD) self portrait while walking!!! :)

The park up ahead... isn't it beautiful?

The park in the winter... BRRR!!!

Phil WAY up ahead... ;) Doesn't it look like we're in the middle of a forest somewhere? Nope.. in the middle of Pavlodar in DEAD winter!!!

Trees in the park!

Below is a picture of one of the ladies who works in the apartment building... There are 3-4 ladies and one man who work here... and months ago.. I quickly started earning smiles from EVERYONE of them.. except for this lady. Phil and I talked about this lady... and how she DID not smile back... I told him then... that I would be her friend by the time we left this apartment for good! I wanted her to see kindness and Jesus in us... she seems so cold and tired and sad... I've smiled at her day after day after day.... and she's frowned and looked away and looked back at me with VERY angry mad faces LOTS of times.. I've silently prayed for her... and continued to smile... try to communicate simply with my NO Russian... and SMILE! About 5 days ago... she sort of smiled back... :) 3 days ago... she really smiled back... 2 days ago... I talked with her and showed her pictures of Bailey and Brooklyn... ;) This morning as we were waiting on the driver... I had the chance to talk to her through Symbat (translator)... I told her thanks for her kindness to us and for being so helpful... she was full of smiles and SO surprised that I'd want to talk to her at all... We talked (through Symbat) until the taxi came.. and as I walked out into the BITTER cold... I once again KNEW God was in this... :)
When we came back from eating at Krendals and walking back... I asked her to take a picture with me... and she happily agreed!! She then wanted to take one with Phil... in front of the fir tree! ;)
Thank you Lord for the opportunity to show her Jesus.. through kindness and smiles... you know that Jesus shines through any language barrier... any problem and any situation!

Below is a picture I took from the window of our apartment... Isn't it beautiful?

We are going to the village in a couple of hours to visit Symbat's family. I am really excited about getting to go to the village and meet her family. I will go ahead and post this... and add those pictures.. stories after we get home later... :)

Paka for now...

I know you know and are praying.. but, court tomorrow is at 11 am our time.. so Wed. night 11 pm your time... it'll be here SOON! Less than 24 hours! Thank you Lord for favor, amazing grace and your presence that is around that judge right now as well as in the court room tomorrow!!!

Court

2011-01-11T04:47:00.000-06:00

Today has been a very sad day for us... My heart is so heavy.. that I know it's ONLY by the grace of God that I'm even still able to type....
The visit this morning with F and G was good... however, they are BOTH very sick... and we were accused of taking them in the PE room with another family who was bonding... and now due to US exposing their little girl... that little girl is sick and the smaller group is coming down with the same virus...
YEAH... I'm sure it was us.. and F and G.. the entire group got sick from our girls in oh let's see... 11 hours.. NOT LIKELY!!!

Then to end the session... Faith SCREAMED and BAWLED and BEGGED me not to leave her... CLINGING TO ME SCREAMING.... "Mama Nyet (No) Paka (bye bye)" over and over and over"....

so we then have less than an hour to get to court...
the judge GRILLED everyone in the room for over 2 hours....
she asked us the same things over and over.... and then proceeded to demand that we prove what the minimum income for a family of 6 is in the state of Oklahoma...   All our forms (which they had us to prepare) state the average income... not the minim.... she wants the minimum.... we told her our 'guess' ... that wasn't enough...
She grillled Svetlana... Svetlana got really upset after about 1 1/2 hours... and the judge did not like that ONE bit... she read her the right act... then at one point she gripped at our translator and at one point or another she pretty much had it out with everyone in the room.....

She did not make a decision... and called for a recess to review the documents.... (how long does it take to look the forms over?).....
oh.. at one point she demanded that her verdict will not be made until the girls mother is brought in as a witness...   No one has seen her for YEARS...   her rights have been taken away YEARS ago...
the list goes on and on and on.....

I don't even know what to say...   I don't know what to type...
our next session is on Jan. 13th @ 11 am....    now, we will miss our flights home.... we will now miss Bailey's ball games on Sat.haven't seen ONE of her games this year yet...) ...
everyone is saying there is NO way she will waive the waiting period... there's no reason to ask...s o that's officially out of the ? now....

The ladies who support us so much were so kind.. and gave us hugs and begged us not to be sad.. finally, through my tears in the van.. I said. that I just don't understand why she seems to want to attack us... we are trying to do a good thing here... give two little girls a wonderful home... and give them everything they could ever need... why is she so determined to attack us time and time again?

As I was sitting in that court room fighting back the tears... and just let me tell you at about 1 hour and 30 minutes... you could just feel it was NOT going to end today.... I started just praying in my head and thanking the Lord for this judge... and the positive verdict and for Faith and Grace... and the scripture he gave me before court on Dec. 14 came to mind:

"They will fight against you but will NOT overcome you, for I am with you and will rescue you, declares the Lord!"

Jeremiah 1:19:

...so I guess that all I can say is that even when my heart breaks into... I don't understand why things are the way they are... I wish I could make things differently... I am thankful that the Lord reminds us that HE is in control... and HE will rescue us (including Faith and Grace)!

Thank you Lord for your promises....

PLEASE keep praying

Another Video

2011-01-08T17:42:00.000-06:00

This is the 2nd video from Jan. 5th... After the reunion video the caregiver had the girls run to the bathroom before leaving with us (to go play)... this is the video of them returning to our arms after that... ;) Listen closely... Grace says, "I love you" with NO promting with her little hands on my cheeks!!!!! AAAAHHHH.... the sweetness of our heavenly father keeping these babies for us... We are so blessed!!!

Reunion Video

2011-01-08T17:40:00.000-06:00

The long awaited video is finally here... :) The girls had NO idea we were there... and the caregiver didn't tell them it was us... she just called their names! :) Pure sweetness!! (make sure you pause the music at the bottom of the blog... and don't have your volume to loud... Faith's screaming will HURT your ears and blow your speakers! ;))

Jan 8th - Update!

2011-01-08T04:33:00.001-06:00

The Internet seems to be working better this afternoon so I decided to post some of the pictures I have been meaning to post from the last few days. sorry about the video in the last post... I have spent so much time trying to get these 2 videos on the blog that it's really crazy. I have tried EVERY suggestion (program) that anyone has sent... and still had NO luck. I was able to email them to a friend today (and they appeared to send...) so hopefully she will be able to upload them for me... we shall see though! :)

Here are some pictures from Jan. 6th that I wanted to share:

Here are the gifts that we have all ready to go for 'after' court. I got them ALL ready to go on Jan. 5th... hoping we'd need to be handing them out of Jan. 6th! They are still sitting on our table!

Here's a close up on the photo card I made and attached to each gift... I wanted to leave a picture of my precious babies with everyone who helped us! I'm so thrilled about how cute they turned out! I just had to share! :)

Here we are trying on the NEW boots that Aunt Linda sent. I took them home and we had to exchange them for 3 sizes smaller. Grace wears a 6 and Faith wears a 5! They were THRILLED and LOVED them!

I guess I was feeling brave after court.. but, I decided to take baby lotion and just put some on their little hands and faces. Their cheeks are SO dry due to the cold weather. They LOVED it.. they smelled and smelled and smelled it! We so take so much for granted..

As I mentioned before Svetlana (lawyer) invited us to her home last night for Christmas dinner with her family. The meal was delicious as well as great company. I can't even begin to explain how kind and wonderful she is. We enjoy spending time with her so much and she truly makes you feel so at ease. We are so blessed with such a wonderful in-country staff. We had a GREAT meal...it was delicious... lots of wonderful food, desserts, music, and GREAT company!

From left to right: Symbat (translator), Me, Phil, Alexander (Svetlana's husband) and Svetlana. (Her son was taking the picture!)

The delicious goose! It was wonderful. Svetlana cooked it with apples, pineapples, and oranges. It was wonderful!

Here are some pictures from our visit to the babyhouse yesterday - Jan. 7th!

Phil discovered that you can turn the view finder on the camera around so that the girls can see themselves while we're videoing them... This was Faith's reaction to seeing herself in the screen! ;)

Isn't that precious?

The girls are just as excited with clothes/shoes, etc.. as they are with toys.. They were SO excited to try on their new coats. We even said, "Thanks Aunt Linda" on video! :) They weren't smiling here.. but, wanted to show you the cute coats ( and boots)!
It's really amazing... they'll be playing and notice they are wearing their 'new' boots and the excitement starts all over again!

Grace... She LOVES these Dora glasses and wears them most of the time! (so so so cute!).. It's amazing how much different they look with some cute piggy tails and hair bows! ;) They want me to fix their hair everyday FIRST thing! ;)

Faith and I... Doesn't she look different with her hair pulled back? They are so precious! ;)

Grace had taken her hair out... and decided to put the book on her head! SILLY girl! ;)

Papa had an owie... Faith was taking care of him! ;)

We didn't have as good of a day with the girls today... it was stressful (honestly).   There was another family in the room and when we are sharing the room the girls SHOW-OFF... or test us or something... who knows... but, it causes us to stress...      The girls always want to play with the other family's toys.. and we are constantly trying to keep them on our side of the room.   Grace wasn't herself today.... honestly we are wondering what's going on with her.   They both look so tired and have dark circles under their little eyes.   Grace was so much more active today... and we had a difficult time getting her to settle down at all.. :(

I am going to be honest here today... I had to fight off a melt down today while at the babyhouse... I am just so tired... the past 3 years of fighting for my kiddos has proven to be exhausting...    I am just so ready to get them out of here and home and safe and loved.   I am so tired of wondering and being watched... and feeling guilty and afraid for things as simple as baby lotion on their hands.    It's truly incredible... and SO tiring.
There are times when we get so tired... and just want to fast forward life a little to get through this yucky part.. :)
However, as we were eating lunch today and I was telling Phil...   I don't want to fast forward and possibly miss what God is trying to do... I have no idea what that is... but, I've always known down deep that our journey/life/adoption was for a HIGHER purpose that what we knew of... I just know and feel that the Lord has a plan in all the delays... all the discouragement... all the 'stuff' that gets so old and tiring to our selfish fleshly minds..
I was telling Phil that I know that it will only be seconds until I'm looking/thinking back about this very time... and 5 years will have gone by...  I will be the BUSY, yet content happy Mother to 4 adorable, sweet, and wonderfully adjusted and bonded little girls!
We are trying so SO SO very hard to relax... enjoy the time... seek the Lord and continue to trust him that his ways and timing are PERFECT!

Let me just tell you though that there are times when I want to scream... when other families (who have arrived LONG after us) are finished with court and taking their babies home.... I want to say... OK Lord... HELLO!    BUT, as quickly as we have those selfish/fleshly thoughts... we are reminded of all the ways/times that the Lord has proven to us that he is doing something FAR greater than we know...

Faith and Grace.... your precious little lives are touching so many people...   I can't wait to see what awesome things God has planned for your little lives!   Wow!   Gives me chills!      I am honored to be your Mama!   :)    You bless my heart in ways that you don't even know...

Have a wonderful Saturday and remember today to NOT take the little things for granted.... there are thousands of babies/children/kids/adults worldwide who don't have the little things...

Just thought I'd share one my my favorite quotes... just a little something to think about today... What can YOU do to make a difference??

"Sometimes, I'd like to ask the Lord why He allows poverty, famine and injustice in the world, when He could do something about it... but, I'm afraid He might ask me the same question!"

Jan. 7th post... and the VIDEO from Jan. 5th reunion! :)

2011-01-07T00:49:00.000-06:00

Ok.... so here's the video... I was able to upload it to you tube (make it private).. then post it to the blog... whew!!! Just a warning... Pause the music at the bottom of the blog... and make sure your volume is NOT turned up high... the screams will be VERY loud!

... and I think it's safe to say they missed us as much as we missed them! I never in a million years dreamed that Faith would SCREAM like that!!! :) It was PRECIOUS! Grace was in shock... her mouth was wide, her eyes HUGE!! She was the one we'd have thought would SCREAM! It's amazing how they continue to surprise us!

We had another great visit this morning... We are having major Internet issues... so I'm not going to try to post pictures as well. Just know they are still adorable and enjoying the bows, glasses, and all the 'girlie' stuff that we brought to them. I took some baby lotion and we also put on lotion today. Something as simple as lotion is amazing to them. They continued to smell their hands and smile. It truly is precious! I can't wait to pamper them and show them how loved they truly are. :)

They continue to absorb English.. and we are working hard on simple body parts. They already know and will say: nose, ear, eye... I am telling you that they are amazing. It's incredible what they already remember. We feel like we discovered two precious jewels!! We are so very blessed!!

We are going to Svetlana's for dinner tonight at 6 pm. We are excited to see how her family celebrates their Christmas. I brought a box of brownies and I'm going to make those to take... they had NO idea what a brownie was when I asked. We'll post more after our dinner with them...
(if Internet will cooperate!)

Court Session number 2!

2011-01-06T07:35:00.000-06:00

Well.. I will just start at the beginning.   The driver and staff picked us up at 10:30.   We then picked up the van full of people again and headed to the courthouse.   We all walked in together and met the BH director as well as another lady who spoke for us outside the courtroom.   We all hung out together in the hallway... and the ladies were all very kind to us.    We visited about lots of things like the weather and how the trip home was, etc... we talked about their New Year's with their families and told them about our Christmas at home with Bay and Brook.
After about 15 minutes they call our names and into the courtroom we go.   The room is much smaller than before... and the room we used on Jan. 14th was small. This room was about 20 X 20 max.. and there were about 14 people crammed in it.     The judge started by having everyone introduce themselves.   She then asked if anyone had anything they wanted to say.   The BH Director spoke up and stated that her Dr's needed to speak first if that was ok.. cause they needed to leave. She agreed to this and the head of the Dr's for the BH went first (we'd never seen her before).   She spoke of the twins medical history from Birth until now... and spoke for a LONG time.    The BH Dr. then spoke as well and confirmed all the things that the Director said as well.     As I sat there listening to the list of things the girls have been through and faced.... my heart just broke... as I knew they had been alone their entire little lives while facing so many challenges.   I quickly thought that I never wanted them to face another Dr's apt... or issue and not KNOW that their Mama and Papa are there with them always and forever.

However, I quickly remembered what the Lord spoke to me about 2 1/2 years ago... and that was that he had my babies in the palm of his hand.   I KNOW that he has held F and G gently in his hand from the time they were conceived in their Mothers womb... and for this I am SO very grateful!
The Judge questioned the BH Dr. VERY extensively.    I am still amazed at the things she asked her.   She was very forceful and asked her if she was 100% sure that we could provide all that the twins need, etc... she just kept asking and really questioned her.   The Dr. was so very kind and continued to reassure the judge that she had NO doubt that we were the perfect parents for the twins.

After that ?ing ended... she then asked which of us planned to speak first... I of course drew the short straw between Phil and I... and gave my speech first.    I covered most everything imaginable... and reassured her (yes.. with HUGE tears) that we just felt and knew the girls were our daughters.   I only left out a small portion of my speech.... and overall remembered everything I wanted to say.   I felt that it went good... and most importantly I didn't BAWL uncontrollably... I got chocked up a couple times.. but, held it in and think the judge could genuinely see and feel that we loved the girls so much already.

She then asked me questions and drilled me... I answered honestly and to the best of my ability.   She then said she had no further ?'s... and it was Phil's turn.    He gave his short speech... she drilled him... He got chocked up.... all the women in the room were smiling and VERY touched. :)   I think they are just in awe of the fact that he wants and is willing to be the Papa to 4 daughters! :)     He answered well..and he sat down.    Svetlana then told the judge that we had some video's of our time with the girls if she'd like to view them... and we shared pictures of the newly re-decorated room for F and G. The judge wanted to see the videos... so I sat up the computer and played the video from yesterday for the judge and the entire court.   The ladies who wanted to view it crowded in behind me and the judge.. behind her seat. (very NOT American... )     This is the video that I want to share with all of you... but, can't get to upload... anyway the ladies as well as the judge were ALL smiles... you CAN NOT watch this without a smile and see and feel the love... and at the end of it... Faith says in Russian to me... "Mama, can we just go home now?"    They all heard this and the judge just looks at me and smiles! I knew then that she has a heart!!!! :)     I then showed them a portion of another video from back in Nov... during bonding.
The director of child services then spoke and she literally made me BAWL.   She said that in all her years as a professional.. doing this job.. she's never seen such progress in 2 children during a bonding time.   She also went on to say that she was so very impressed with our bonding... and how we played so appropriately with the girls.   We incorporated learning into the environment and she had never seen such a wonderful environment made for children to learn. She said it was truly a 'teacher environment' and that you could see the love in both our eyes as we look at those girls. She said she's honestly never seen such a strong bond and that she whole HEARTEDLY supports our adoption of these twins.   :)

The director then speaks and agrees with her and says that it's truly obvious that my being an SLP is such a positive thing.   She also brags and says she's seen such HUGE gains in both girls, etc...

I just had to smile inside.. as I watched and heard the Lord's favor!    It's truly amazing that the Lord has orchestrated this very day from the time that he led me to be and SLP.   Everything in our lives truly points to this point and we are SO very thankful for the Lord's amazing mercies and grace!
At one point the Dr even said... that these girls need a FULL-TIME Speech-Language Pathologist!   :)   LOL!!! Doesn't get much better than that! ;)

At this point we've been in the courtroom for about 1 1/2 hours... it was a LONG time...
They judge asks us some more ?'s... basically the same things over again..

Everyone felt very good about the entire session and you could just feel the peace in the courtroom.   I just KNEW she was going to give her decision today... then next thing I know she is saying that our next session will be towards the end of the month... YES.. the END of Jan!    The revolt in the room again begins.... and the ladies FIGHT for us again.   She then changes her mind and says that she can work us into her schedule on the 11th at 2:00 pm.

The ladies again are SO upset that she didn't give her verdict today... and say that she has NO reason to not give a YES!    They were saying.. that she already knows she's planning to say yes... and it's so silly to drag it out another few days.... but, it's ok.     We feel good about it.... and just continue to know that the Lord has a plan... and that plan is perfect!!! ;)
Svetlana says the 11th should be VERY simple.   Gather in the courtroom.. she'll ask if anyone has any changes or wants to add anything.... then she'll recess.. and come back in and give her positive verdict!
;)

We then came back to the apt. and made some lunch... whew... it was a morning!
We went to visit F and G tonight from 4 - 6 and had another GREAT visit...
Here are some pictures of the fun:
(well.. forget the pics.. after another 45 mins. trying to load these... I'm giving up.. Svetlana was even saying tonight that the internet is really acted strange in this part of the city...   who knows why, but it is.. I've had fits just staying connected to get this typed out...)

so.. we have our last court session on Jan. 11th...
Tomorrow is Christmas here in Kazakhstan... so nothing is open... the director said that we could go ahead and visit F and G tomorrow...but, made sure we all realized she was making a special privilege allowing us to... we're so thankful for that! :)

Svetlana has invited us to her home for Christmas dinner with her family tomorrow... we are honored and very excited to experience that....    We'll post pics (hopefully) and details soon!
Thanks for the love, support, and prayers....
We are so very blessed by all of you!

and.. we are so thrilled that we are one step closer to having the girls home forever!!

... and we're back!!!

2011-01-05T07:29:00.000-06:00

I have so much to write and post about... but, wanted to start with the BEST part first... after 19 days (79 hours of travel to get home.... 35 hours of travel to return.... TONS of love and hugs from Bay and Brook... Christmas celebrations with the families.... as well as a COMPLETE redo and redecorate of Faith and Grace's room)... we are finally back in Pavlodar. We arrived yesterday (Jan. 4th) @ around 11 am... we immediatly found out we couldn't see F and G until today... we also had no internet until today... but, at 8:45 am on Jan. 5th.... we walked into the babyhouse after 19 days of MISSING them... and you can see below what their responses were: :)
(Make sure you scroll to bottom of the blog to pause the music to hear the excitement and SCREAMS in the video!!! : ))

(OK... after trying to get this video to load for 2 hours... I am giving up.... I am SO sad that I can't get it to load.. I tried LOTS of things... using several recommendations of downsizing it.. etc... and it still won't load... I'm assuming it's Kaz. internet... or the fact that I'm not techy... but, regardless... I am giving up... for now.. can anyone reading this email me some tips? )

(They screamed and ran and SCREAMED loud and jumped and threw themselves into our arms... they hugged and kissed and hugged and kissed us...over and over and over! )

YES! You heard correctly... Faith said to me... Mama, can we go home now? ;) yes... that's a tear jerker!!

After about 3 minutes... Grace put both her hands on both my cheeks... and after I kissed her said, "Mama, I LOVE YOU!"   (In English... as plain as day!)
They remembered us... and it was a GRAND day!   The Lord kept them... and I have NO doubt he was rocking them everynight for me! :)

The caregivers said they have cried and waited on us... she used the word "cried!"    We had a GREAT day with them... as you can imagine.
Here are a few pictures:

LOL! Grace LOVED the sunglasses that we brought... and she LOVED it when I put on Faith's!! :)
This girl was SO excited to see us.. and just grinned HUGE the entire time! :)

My precious Faith... :) Goodness I sure love these babies... My heart comletley melted into when she said to me... "Mama, Can we go home now?" Awe.....

Grace... This baby is incredible! She did not forget ONE word of English... and was quick to say it all and show us that she knew it!! :) She continues to amaze me... We are SO SO SO very blessed!

I just had to include this one... Grace.. You are such a CUTIE! :)

An attempt at a family picture of all 4 of us... an attempt!

WOW! They were so excited with the new shoes, hair bow, and cute girl stuff that I brought! It's amazing how excited they are at the smallest things...

Let me just tell you that while we were gone.... (and we weren't gone that long) Winter has definitly arrived. It's colder than you can even imagine.. I mean COLD.. Right now it's -24 degrees F. That's COLD! I know we said before that we've never felt temps. so cold.. but, we continue to be amazed... they were correct when they said that it wasn't really cold yet... oh my goodness! It's beyond cold!

It physically hurts to breath the air in... your chest hurts after a few breaths.... IT'S COLD!

We have court in the morning (Jan. 6th) @ 11:00 am... so that will be Jan. 5th (Wed) night at 11 PM for most of you!

PLEASE say a prayer and think of us....

I have so many things to post and tell all of you about.... finding the time and energy to type it all out... but, for now we have to focus on tomorrow....

we're praying that tomorrow will be it... and that the judge will be so moved that she'll make a decision tomorrow and not make us have a 3rd court date of Jan. 11th. The lawyer says this is definilty possible. Please trust God with us that his will will be completed!

(and that somehow - someway there will be a HUGE miracle and she'll waive the waiting time after court... so we don't have to leave the girls here again and come back for them!)

Thanks for the love, support, and prayers... maybe by this time tomorrow... we'll be officially the parents of 4 precious girls!! Thank you Lord for you amazing favor tomorrow!!!

Night from Pavlodar!

(please email video posting tips... I'm so sad that it would load.. :( )

Merry Christmas Faith and Grace!

2010-12-26T08:42:00.001-06:00

Dear Faith and Grace,
There was not one second that went by today (Christmas) that we didn't think of you! We love you so much.. we prayed for you and trust and know that Jesus was holding you both in his arms today... on this last Christmas Day that you are NOT home forever!
We have been waiting for 4 Christmas's... thinking this has to be the last Christmas without our babies home.... Just know that we love you... We all talked about you nonstop... and just know that we can't wait for you to be home forever!
You are LOVED precious babies.... by ALL of us!
We love you and are coming soon!! Rest my sweet girls ~ in HIS arms...

(Note: Go to bottom of blog to pause music playing before listening to this song.)

Dec. 17, 2010 - Our last visit for a while...

2010-12-17T08:43:00.001-06:00

We went to the BH @ 4 pm today... When we arrived the caregiver quickly begin telling us that when we didn't arrive this morning at our 'normal' time... the girls were very sad... and then as the day progressed and we didn't come... they got MAD. The caregiver said they were distraught and upset ALL DAY. :(
Symbat explained to her that we were leaving... that the judge decided on our court date of Jan 11th... and we have to go back to America due to expiring Visas, and that this would be our last visit until close to Jan 11th. She was SHOCKED about the court date as well... and said that we had been here in Kazak. visiting the girls for a LONG time.... what was the deal?!

That is every ones response. :) Smile and remember that God has a plan!

Ok... so we asked first about putting pics on the girls beds... They allowed us to tape 2 pictures up on each girls bed.
The girls were VERY excited. As we started to go into the room where they sleep.. Phil grabbed the camera... and guess what... it won't turn on. (batteries are ALL dead... we guess!)... Symbat had her camera and took the pictures... I borrowed her camera and downloaded them... however, you can't see much of the room. (but, it's better than nothing)
Here they are:

This is Faith's bed. There were 13 beds in this small room. I knew what the room would look like... but, it was heartbreaking at the same time! I KNOW that the Lord's presence will surround that bed in the center back... as well as the one in the front against the wall!

Still working on Faith's bed.... they were SO excited about putting the pictures on their beds. :)

Here we are working on Stella's bed. Yes... those are tears in my eyes. I know it's God's plan, but let me just say it hurts.. and it hurts DEEP.

I as well as Symbat explained to the girls that when they are laying down to sleep they will remember and KNOW that Mama and Papa LOVE THEM VERY MUCH and that we are coming back!    We aren't sure how much they understand... Symbat agrees that they don't/didn't seem to understand.
As we came out of the bedroom... I was BAWLING.    One of the caregivers saw me and smiled SO sweetly... I asked Symbat (while BAWLING - with the caregiver watching me) to PLEASE tell them that we love them and that we are coming back.    The caregiver was so sweet.. and said she will tell them every time she works.    She told Symbat that F and G have been waiting a LONG time on us.. their Mama and Papa.. and they will NOT forget us.    She was so sweet..at least I know ONE caregiver will talk to them about us.   The bummer is that they rotate so much... it goes days before they have the same caregiver again.... urg..
We wouldn't be leaving tomorrow if it wasn't God's plan.. this has to be the best thing for all of us... We keep telling ourselves this.
We are leaving these babies in the Lord's hand... He will take really good care of them.

We left a gift and cards for them... Svetlana is going to give the cards to the director. (we wrote on the front what days to give them to the girls)    Symbat translated it all in Russian... so the caregivers can read the cards to them.    Svetlana hopes that since we are giving them to the director that she will for sure get them to F and G on the correct days.    We left New Year's Day presents for them with Svetlana as well. She is going to go see them and give them the presents as well as watch their New Year's production.   We are so thankful for this.   She said she would try to send us some pics via email!

Prayer request:   We realized that our I-171H form expires about one week before we will most likely be bringing the girls home... (meaning we'll have to have a home study update.. and pay oh about $1000 total again for this immigration letter from the US government as well as a HS update.)
This is crucial and could delay us even longer if we have to redo it...    We pointed it out to Svetlana tonight and she was JUST sick...
She is going to go visit the lawyer on Monday and explain the situation again.    If the judge would waive the 15 day waiting period after court... problem would be solved!   We need to gain one week somehow/someway... or we're delayed due to this form.. yet again..
PLEASE pray that Svetlana will receive good news with the judge on Monday... and that when we book tickets to come back.. the prices will be SO inexpensive that we'll be shocked!!!   Lord, we KNOW you have ALL things under control.... and as I've said everyday for weeks.... We choose to TRUST you!

Here's the travel itinerary:
Leave Pavlodar apartment @ 7:30 am on Saturday morning.
Flight to Almaty @ 9:20 am (2 hour flight)
Wait in Almaty for 15 hours.   :(
4:20 am Sunday morning - fly to Frankfort
Frankfort to Chicago
Chicago to OKC - supposed to arrive in OKC at 2:08 pm Sunday afternoon (OK time)
2:15 ish - GRAB Bay and Brook and melt into an emotional pile!   :)
Go eat some REALLY good Oklahoma food!!!   Texas Roadhouse?   YUM!!!
Sunday evening... Christmas Caroling via trailer (hayride)... back to church for hot chocolate and yummy goodies.
Life resumes at home.... (on the outside... on the inside.. 1/2 my heart is in Pavlodar, Kazakhstan!)

Dec. 16, 2010 - Update!

2010-12-16T07:58:00.000-06:00

I haven't posted pics from the last 3 days... so I thought I'd post a few!
Here are a couple of my favorites from yesterday!

Doesn't get much sweeter than this... :)

When we arrived yesterday for our visit the children in their group were just changing out of their costumes for the New Years production. The caregivers put G and F's back on them so I could take a picture! Despite the look on Grace's face... she was VERY excited to put it back on for a picture! (honestly!)

I just love this picture. I hope they realize how much we LOVE them!

This is from today. We decided to 'break' a rule and put on some chap stick. They were SO excited!

Here I told them to show Papa how pretty we are... Grace is such a hoot! :)

NO explanation needed... isn't that precious?!

We did some shopping today... It was a busy day!   We found a couple of animals to leave with the girls.   Svetlana is going to go and visit them on New Years and take them a present from us.    The caregivers/director said that we can also put some pictures on their beds tomorrow.
I am so happy that we'll be able to do that.
I had a melt down in the middle of the visit today... and just started BAWLING!    Both girls were SO sweet... however, Faith wiped away one of my tears... kissed my cheek and said very softly and kindly, "I love you Mama!"    (with NO prompting or anyone saying anything....)   MELTED my heart! Grace was so sweet as well.. and brought over a book and wanted to read with me.. (cause I always read to them ; ))
We talked to them about us leaving, etc.. through Symbat today... we aren't sure how much they really understand.
Despite the pain and agony that we feel... we know that this is ~~evidently~~ God's plan... (for us to leave them)... so we know he will take perfect care of them.
He spoke to my heart YEARS ago... that, "he had them in the palm of his hand... and honestly that was a better place that with us!"    so.... we are resting in that.
Busy day tomorrow... our last day here.

oh... and as we were taking the girls back to their room today... (I was carrying Faith) Faith touches my cheek and turns my face towards hers and says to me.. " Mama... Violetta Mama Machina (car) go... PLEASE?!"    She repeated this three times in the most pitiful, sad face...
she was asking to go with us in the car... begging me... she said "please" in English...
Thank you Lord for the strength I know you are going to give us... cause I know you will be carrying me when I walk out of that babyhouse tomorrow..
HUGE SIGH!
Lord, We trust you!

We are coming home...

2010-12-15T12:00:00.000-06:00

I am just going to state some facts.. cause I know everyone is wondering..
Svetlana was not able to get anything done about our court date.     It is officially Jan. 11th.   There is NOTHING that can be done.

We are coming home... we've spent LOTS of time on Skype and Internet trying to figure out how to get home... when, how, etc...
it was a mess due to Kaz. independence day being tomorrow.
We leave Pavlodar on Sat. morning...   so we'll get to see the girls 2 more times before leaving. We will arrive in OKC on Sunday afternoon @ 2:00 pm.  (Bay and Brook... we can't wait to see you!)

I will write more tomorrow... way to emotionally and physically drained to even type right now.   I just wanted to let everyone know what was going on.
We are ok... we know (even though we are very disappointed) that the Lord has this all under control.   His timing and plan is WAY better than ours... and we TRUST him!

PLEASE pray for Faith and Grace that they will understand and know that we are coming back soon...

Blessings...